|
[Scene: The entire cast of Animaniacs is leaving studio #31, practically their home since 1993. Almost all have sad faces, except Yakko, who is grinning broadly and holding what appears to be a flyer; Wakko, who is really psyched about having the full length movie named completely after him; and Dot, who is looking after a passing cameo of Mel Gibson] DOT: I know why Wakko's all happy, but what's with you? YAKKO: I have the most beautiful idea!!! WAKKO: [Eating a pizza he has just pulled from nowhere] What? YAKKO: [Slaps the flyer with the back of his hand] We can join the police! DOT: We'd have to go to the academy! YAKKO: Exactly. DOT: Well, okay! Maybe we can pull that "Two places at once" gag on the Captain. [Cut to Slappy in her tree house, watching television] SLAPPY: [Slapping her forehead] I give up... [Back to the Warners] YAKKO: Wakko? WAKKO: Sure, why not? [Close up to the picture on the flyer, a police academy building. Fade to a picture of the very same building, but not on paper, and our trio going through the door. A Captain with a clipboard looks up to them.] CAPTAIN CAPS: "Hi. I'm Captain Caps. You must be the Warner Brothers." DOT: AND the Warner sister! CAPTAIN CAPS: I'll be your commanding officer while you're at the academy. Just go down that hallway, and get in line. [The Warners do what they're told, (for once) and end up in line right next to Pinky and the Brain. A Drill Sergeant starts taking roll call.] [He gets to the Brain's name] DRILL S: BRIAN!! BRAIN: That's Brain! DRILL S: What is a little fella like you doing in the police academy? BRAIN: I am not a "little fella". I am a lab mouse engaged in an elaborate plan to take over the world. PINKY: NARF!!! DRILL S: Eeeyeah... [The Sergeant finishes roll call, and Captain Caps comes into the room and looks at his squadron. It is pretty sad-looking. People skinny as a rail, some that look like motorcycle gang members, three animated ink blots, and two lab mice] DRILL S: Listen to me, you sorry lot of cartoon losers! You're gonna eat nothin' but gruel! You're gonna sweat till you drop! You're gonna become lean, mean, FIGHTING MACHINES! [By now his veins are popping out of his neck...] DOT: That's OK. We're used to it. We worked for the WB Network. DRILL S: [Looks confused.] Umm... alright... let's just begin your training... [Cut to a model town. Drill S and the Warners are present.] DRILL S: Alright, now, here you'll shoot at the various figures that pop up. YAKKO: Do they look like Mike Eisner? DRILL S: No... WAKKO: Aww... that'd make it easier... DOT: Hey, shouldn't we be filming our movie? YAKKO: Nah, they're working on Minerva's singing part now... YAKKO & WAKKO: Hulllooooo, nurse! DOT: Boys... WAKKO: Then they're doing Skippy's bit. YAKKO: That'll take awhile. What's he singing? [Cut to Skippy at the set.] Skippy: [Sung, as his voice cracks constantly.] Feeeeeeeeeelings!!! Nothing more than Feeeeeeeeeelings!!! DIRECTOR: Nah, nah... tell ya what, let's try "Heart Will Go On" again... [Back to the Warners...] YAKKO: Well, sibs... I guess we're gonna hafta use... *gulp* ...guns... WAKKO: Or, we could just go zany and drop anvils on the things... DOT: Or sneak up behind them and be two places at once! YAKKO: We'll let you, the viewers, decide! Press Button One for the guns, Button Two for the Anvils, and Button Three for the Two Places at Once Bit... [Cut to Slappy... she fumbles for a button on her remote] SLAPPY: Aw, no! I hit the "Two Places at Once Button!" [Begins to sob] [Music similar to the audience voting music on "America's Funniest Home Videos" plays] ANNOUNCER: Which one will it be? Option number one, [Still-shot of Warners dressed in cowboy gear, twirling around pop-cork guns] Option #2, [Still-shot of drill sergeant smashed under an anvil, with the Warners gleefully laughing], or Option #3 [Still-shot of the Warners doing that "two places at once" bit to Mr. Director]. We'll find out which option wins, right after *this*... [Cut to Pinky and the Brain, standing off near the practice range] PINKY: Uhm, Brain, why are we trying to become policemen again? POIT! Is it to meet Steve Guttenberg? BRAIN: No, Pinky, remember *our plan*! PINKY: Uhh... what plan? BRAIN: Try to focus Pinky! Once we become policemen, we shall rise through the ranks and become chiefs of police. Once there, we shall use this position of power to eliminate crime across the city! Impressed with the way we've handled and improved the city's crime situation, the populace will surely support my every command, eventually allowing us to take over the county, the state, and eventually, the world! PINKY: Egad, Brain, *brilliant*! Oh, no, wait - won't we need lots of sponges and Lysol? BRAIN: That's "grime", Pinky, not "crime". Now come, we're off! PINKY: OK, Brain! TROZ! [Cut back to the Warners] YAKKO: And the winning selection is... number 3! WAKKO: Gee, I'd have figured the audience would want lots of gratuitous violence and painfully blunt objects! DOT: True, but we still get to bug the living daylights outta someone! WAKKO: Oh... OK! YAKKO: All right, sibs! Let's go! [The Warners move behind the drill sergeant, and are about to put this tired running gag into motion when a screaching voice cries out...] ELMYRA: MOUSIES!!! [Elmyra comes running up. Pinky and Brain, who have just reached the shooting range with the Warners, turn in horror, when an anvil suddenly drops on Elmyra's head. A very satisfying "clang" echoes as she's squished] [The mice face the Warners] YAKKO: That one's on the house! BRAIN: Much obliged. It's about time that oaf got what she deserved for putting us through all those months of pure torture! May we never have to live through anything like *that* again... PINKY: Oh, it wasn't *that* bad, was it? Narf! YAKKO: Troz! PINKY: Zort! BRAIN: [To Dot] Please... Not more typecast jokes... DOT: Sorry, Eggy... Natch! BRAIN: [Gives Dot an annoyed glare] Do you mind? PINKY: Oh, that reminds me, Brain... Why'd you make Billie stay behind? She *did* assist us in taking down the Circle and escaping from Elmyra's. Not to mention helping to pay for the new lab, poit... BRAIN: I'm still not sure if I trust her... I left her to unpack the new lab equipment to see just how reliable she could be. Besides, *someone* had to do it. Might as well keep her too busy to get any "ideas"... [Just then, a tall skinny man with a too-happy face and a loud shirt shows up] HM: [To Brain] Hi, I'm Hooie Mondell. Do you want to be my announcer? [Dot pulls a rope that has just dropped down, and an anvil falls on him] DOT: On the house, sugar. BRAIN: Thank you. [Sweep to Wakko] WAKKO: [To audience] That was pointless. YAKKO: Ehhhny way, Sgt., when do we start our training? CC: It's Captain! Now! [He pulls a lever. Three cardboard cutouts appear. They are of Tress MacNeille, Jess Harnell, and Rob Paulsen. The Warners freeze] WAKKO: We can't shoot those! DOT: They're our vocal talents! Our friends! YAKKO: The ones we are in debate with as to who really does our voices! [The Warners grab CC's legs. He tries to shake them off in horror] WARNERS: Please don't make us shoot them, pleeeeeeze! [They sob] DOT: [Angrily] You bad, horrible man! Hurting innocent vocal talents! CAPTAIN: You must! Besides, they're just cardboard. And they're just paintball guns!! [Suddenly someone taps the Captain on his shoulder. He turns around to see a very angry looking Rob Paulsen, Tress MacNeille, and Jess Harnell. The Captain waves and grins sheepishly. The Warners grin broadly and back away. The actors aim paintball guns at the Captain and fire. They angrily stomp away. The Captain's head is covered with paint. He blinks through it.] BRAIN: You deserved that. [To the audience, shaking his head and smirking] That was terrible. [A stray paint ball splats on Brain's head] [Cut to Slappy] SLAPPY: You ain't kidding! [Some time later, at the police academy cafeteria...] WAKKO: All right, cafeteria grub! DOT: Yeesh, "grub" is right... [A cafeteria worker, looking unshaven and rather exhausted-looking, plops something greenish on all the Warners' plates, splattering next to the macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, and cupcake sitting on the plates. The Warners sit down at an empty cafeteria table.] DOT: [After sniffing it] Deeeeeesgusting! Blech! WAKKO: Say, can I have it? DOT: [Still slightly annoyed] Be my guest! Ick! YAKKO: Uhh... you can have mine, too, bro! [Shoves his green glop onto Wakko's plate] Here ya go! WAKKO: Gee, thanks! [Tosses the entire plate into his mouth, chews for a bit, and swallows] *HICCUP!* Needed salt. DOT: Blech! YAKKO: Well, that was pointless. WAKKO: [Licking lips] And tasty! DOT: Say, guys, I've got the weirdest feeling of deja vu... WAKKO: Yeah! Come to think of it, it feels almost like... like... DOT: ...Like that *last* story that we did with that stupid package! YAKKO: [Slowly realizing] Heeeey, yeah! I mean, look what's happened so far: Gratuitous guest characters, us bugging the daylights out of someone for no good reason, Slappy's already probably having popped a few blood vessels while watching this thing so far, Pinky and the Brain have already shown up a few times, and we've done that "two places at once" bit at least two or three times already! Just what exactly is new and interesting about this thing? DOT: Uhh... I've changed my mind about that "two places" gag since the last story? WAKKO: And I'm wearing this neat police officer's uniform with a really shiny badge? DOT: *And*, Wakko hasn't gone on a killing spree! [Wakko gives Dot a bad look] WAKKO: It was an eating spree! DOT: Whatever... same difference. YAKKO: Oh, yeah, right! Thanks, guys! DOT: Don't mention it. So, what do you want to do now? YAKKO: Aaaaaahhh... [The Warners look at each other, slanting their eyes. Then, all three of them shout: "*FOOD FIGHT!*" They immediately start throwing their food at the other cafeteria patrons; before long, the whole place has erupted into a massive, violent battle scene.] [Cut to Slappy, at home watching this while holding a bottle of extra-strength aspirin...] SLAPPY: It's about freakin' time somethin' interesting's happening here! That paintball bit *and* a fight scene! At least they aren't doin' that "two places at once" bit... man, I *told* Tex Avery that thing was a lame gag, but he had ta use it anyway... yeesh... [Cut back to the cafeteria; Pinky and Brain are in the midst of the fight scene...] BRAIN: [Using his plate as a shield] Pinky, are you all right? Pinky? [Turns around, sees Pinky lying back-down in a pile of mashed potatoes making "snow" angels] PINKY: Oooh, Brain, you should try this! It's all warm and squishy! TROZ! BRAIN: Pinky, I believe you... [Brain's sentence is cut off, as he's plastered in the face with a flying tomato] [Cut back to the Warners, gleefully throwing food around...] YAKKO: Say, this *is* fun! And it's something we haven't done before! DOT: Yeah! WAKKO: Yeah! [Jumps into air to catch a flying piece of pumpkin pie in his mouth] Though I *do* kinda admit I still wanna do that "two places" thing to someone before this thing's through... [Suddenly, from the cafeteria doorway:] CC: [Looking furious] *STOP!* [The entire cafeteria freezes in mid-throws] CC: [Pointing at the Warners] *YOOOU*! WARNERS: Uh-oohhh... CC: Alright, you toons! You're not going back to class! WARNERS: Hooray! CC: Nope, you're cleaning up the floor! YAKKO: Gee, just like summer camp! WAKKO: Do we get to sing baby songs and make complete weirdoes out of ourselves? CC: Shut up and start cleaning! [CC walks out the door in a rage] DOT: Goodbye, nurse! YAKKO: And good riddance, too! [CC walks into his office, lights up a cigar and turns on the TV. Reporter Mary Hartless is on the screen] MARY: [Cheerily] The most devastating news to ever come out of Hollywood has just arrived! M*ckey Mouse, beloved kid's cartoon star, has now become a drug-dealing psycho! He... wait a minute... let go of me! Help! I'm being kidnapped by Huey and Dewey! CC: That's it, I'll get rid of the Warners by sending them to bust the drug-dealing ring! I'll be on easy street soon! [Wipe to CC standing in front of the police academy. The Warners, decked out in police uniforms, are standing at attention in front of him] CC: Alright, you three. I've decided you are ready for your first assignment! WARNERS: [Gleefully] Yes sir!! CC: We've just got report of a drug-ring going on at D*sney. [Bleeping noise where the asterisk is] YAKKO: At where, sir? CC: At D*sney! WARNERS: At where? CC: At D*sney! At D*sney! You know the WB network censors won't let me say it! YAKKO: Oh, those guys. We sent Rob, Jess, and Tress over to plaster them with paintballs. DOT: Maybe the bleeping is the paintballs hitting their tiny executive heads! WAKKO: Wish I could have gone! [Wipe to Slappy] SLAPPY: That was pointless. [Back to CC and Warners] CC: Our inside information has [Bleeping] Mouse as the head of the cartel. Your job, find him, and bust him!! YAKKO: [To audience] Goodnight, everybody! DOT: You got it sir! Our mission is to serve and protect! WAKKO: To love, honor, and obey! YAKKO: To try and take over the world! [Pinky and Brain enter] BRAIN: [To Yakko] I already tried to sue you in the last episode for using my line! Don't try it again! YAKKO: [Shrugs] Sorry. [P&tB leave] CC: Now, men... DOT: And lady... CC: There is your vehicle [He points to a golf cart], and here are your weapons [He hands them paintball guns] Go to it, [To audience, sneakily] Heh, heh, heh. [A loud chorus of boos fills the air] [The Warners look at each other.] YAKKO: We're doomed. DOT: Our talents never gave us lessons with these! YAKKO: We can't fight [Bleeping] Mouse with a golf cart! WAKKO: And who's doing all that booing? [Dissolve to the Warners riding their golf cart down a street. the music playing is the Animaniacs theme done in the style of "Axel F" from "Beverly Hills Cop". YAKKO: Boy, do I hate traffic... WAKKO: Yeah! You can only eat for so long! DOT: [Looks really confused, and decides to ignore Wakko] [Turning To Yakko] Hey, look! There's Kellner! KELLNER: Oh God! I thought I got rid of you! YAKKO: No! Now we're cops, which reminds me... pull over sir. KELLNER: Great, I'm getting a ticket. [Reading the ticket] "Look to your left, look to your right, look down, look up!" [An anvil falls from the sky and lands on Kellner's car] Warners: Good-byyyyye nurse! [Dissolve to a certain Mouse's warehouse. He's ready to kill] MOUSE: Now you've been doused in gasoline! I just have to introduce you to someone before you die. Meet... The Flame! FLAME: Let go of me! I won't kill him! MOUSE: Do it or I blow you out! FLAME: [Frightened] Alright! [The Flame falls on the gasoline. The man goes up in smoke] MOUSE: Ha Ha Ha!!! [Cut to Pinky and Brain, sitting in a police car rigged with pulleys a la "Hoop Schemes"] BRAIN: Pinky, if we can catch our competitor Mr. Mouse before those Warner brats do, we'll be sure to get the acclamation of our superiors *and* a promotion, thus setting my plan into action! PINKY: Great idea, Brain! How are we going to catch Mr. Mouse? Are we going to do that "two places at once" thing to him? TROZ! BRAIN: [Annoyed] No, Pinky! We shall not resort to such cheap space-time distorting parlor tricks. Rather, I have, as usual, a plan... [Brain puts the police car in gear, and the mice take off in the direction the Warners went in...] [Cut to Slappy's house, where she's fumbling with a videotape] SLAPPY: Ah, last week's episode of "Martial Law"! I *love* an aging Asian man! Heh! [Cut to the Warners, careening down a road with that Beverly Hills Cop-variant A! music playing] YAKKO: So, sibs, got any ideas on tracking down Mr. Mouse? WAKKO: Uhh... burn down D*sney W*rld? DOT: Release "Wakko's Wish" with an advertising campaign to make Microsoft's P.R. Department look like a bunch of amateurs? YAKKO: I said "ideas", not "competition tactics!" WAKKO & DOT: Oh... YAKKO: I know! We could recycle some more running gags, like that "two paddleballs" bit or that "two places at once" bit or... DOT: STOP! [The car screeches to a halt] WAKKO: What?? YAKKO: Yeah, you said you liked that "two places" gag now... DOT: No, you guys, I meant, look over there! [The Warners look out the windshield, to find the man that M*cky Mouse set on fire] BURNING GUY: Oww! Someone... pour some water on me! [Wakko opens his gag bag and pulls out a fire hydrant. He proceeds to douse the burning man. His voice is calmed down now] YAKKO: Hey, look guys! It's Eddie Murphy! AXEL: I say I'm everyone's worst [BLEEPING] nightmare! It's that mouse who is! Oh, I'm Axel Foley! Pleased to meet you! DOT: Hellooooo, Burnt-To-A-Crisp Nurse! AXEL: Who are you? YAKKO & WAKKO: We're the Warner Brothers! DOT: And the Warner Sister, but you can call me yours! YAKKO: [Under his breath] Or you can call her RuPaul. AXEL & DOT: What was that? [Cut to our story's editor, RL Dot] RL DOT: What the heck...? And they wonder why it's taking me so long to edit this thing… [Back to the Warners] YAKKO: I said, "Who wants to play basketball"? AXEL: I'm up for it! I can tell you guys what happened, too! [Bugs Bunny appears out of nowhere.] BUGS: Ehh, you don't look like Jordan, Doc! DOT: Bugs, you're out of your element! BUGS: Fine! Hope I'm getting paid for this! [Singing as he walks off screen] I believe I want cash... DOT: That was pointless! WAKKO: After this basketball game, can we share a pie with Newt Gingrich? [Warners and Axel all walk toward the basketball court, laughing.] [The lab mice ride down the road, trailing the Warners and Axel, in a car heading for the b-ball court...] BRAIN: Pinky, what in the name of Walter Cronkite is going on here? PINKY: Why do you ask me? BRAIN: Because you understand cartoons. PINKY: Well, umm... I think this is a D*sney-bashing thing, along with some typical bashing of WB Executives, and some odd drug-dealing people-burning twisted subplot thingy, as well as a gratuitous Eddie Murphy cameo. BRAIN: I did not know that... Well, come... we *must* find that rat before the Warners. PINKY: Oh, he's not a rat, Brain! He's a mouse! Mick--[Brain grabs his snout] MMPH! BRAIN: *Pinky*! Watch your language! PINKY: Oh, sorry, Brain... BRAIN: You've already said the 'D' word more times than I'd care to think about... well, come... the Warners are pulling in at this basketball court, so we'll pull into the bushes a short distance away and spy on them as they speak. Maybe we'll get some leads... PINKY: You got it Brain! *TROZ* [They pull into the bushes. Cut to the Warners playing basketball with Axel. They're trying to steal the ball, and they're all over him.] YAKKO: I'll get it! DOT: I'll get it! WAKKO: I never get to get it! [The Warners are now standing at half-court. Axel gives a triumphant "HAH!" and gets ready to spin around and drive for the basket. But as he spins around, the Warners are right behind him. He turns back to half-court, and the Warners are there as well, then back the other way, and there they are!] Axel: YAAAHHH!!! [Cut to Brain] BRAIN: Ugh... The only thing that could make this worse is gratuitous cameos by the writers... [Cut to Craig at his computer.] CRAIG: Hmm... I need a good gag to complete this bit... I think... the *TWO PLACES AT ONCE* bit! Hee hee hee... [Brainatra] BRAINATRA: Hmm... perhaps... two places at once? Oh, that's a good one... can never get enough of that one... [The Siren] SIREN: Heh... two places at once... [Real Life Dot] REAL LIFE DOT: And they're *RIGHT BEHIND HIM*! Hee hee... hoo, boy, I love this... and NO KILLING SPREES IN THIS ONE!!! [She smiles broadly] [Real Life Captain Caps] REAL LIFE CAPT C: D*sney drug ring! Oooh... ha ha! ROMEY: How about another reference to my favorite female lab mouse? Yeah! [Back to Brain] BRAIN: Be afraid. Be *VERY* afraid. [Cut to Slappy, now happily engaged in last week's "Martial Law".] SLAPPY: Ahh... hey, it's better'n whatever dredge they're writin' fer dat piece a' hooey story... and "Scooby Doo" is next on Cartoon Network... AXEL: So the Rabbi says to the Priest... YAKKO: [Interrupting him] Look, we're back on! AXEL: Oh, sorry! Anyway, I've had some experience with drug dealers! WAKKO: I'm not touching that one. AXEL: Look, Ringo, I'm saying that I stopped a cartel in "Beverly Hills Cop". DOT: Which one? WAKKO: The one with Sylvester Stallone's ex-wife? YAKKO: The one directed by the guy Spielberg doesn't talk to anymore? AXEL: No! The first one! WARNERS: We did not know that! AXEL: Lord knows, you've referenced to practically everything under the scalding hot sun. YAKKO: The sun isn't scalding! It's your skin! [Pull back to reveal Pinky and the Brain watching in the bushes] BRAIN: I guess we should give up searching for information tonight! PINKY: Oh good, Ally McBeal is on tonight! I hear she vomits on tonight's episode! BRAIN: She probably does that every night! PINKY: Along with trying to take over the world? BRAIN: That's US! WE want to take over the world! Besides, we don't like Fox! PINKY: We don't? Oh... then, do we like NBC? BRAIN: No. PINKY: CBS? BRAIN: No. PINKY: UPN? BRAIN: [Shudders] No... PINKY: Umm... the WB...? BRAIN: NOOOOOO!!! Pinky, I... look, they're getting back in the car! [They do so...] WAKKO: Where are we headed now? YAKKO: I dunno... but I think we're in deep with the censors... between this whole drug ring run by a children's TV star thing and the number of times we've said the name of that evil 'D' company, I think we're in for it... DOT: Who cares? We don't have a show anymore! We can say whatever we want! WAKKO: Really? Wow! Fu--[Dot grabs his mouth.] DOT: But please don't. We don't want this thing to get anymore out-of-hand than it already is. YAKKO: Just as long as we steer clear of coffee... [Cut back to the mice.] BRAIN: Pinky...are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but a 'Family Circus' TV show? Only UPN would buy something like that... BRAIN: Pinky, they're off to find the mouse! We must follow! PINKY: Right! To the Brainmobile! Hah hah! *NARF* [POW!] Owie... that hurt, Brain... [Cut to Slappy. She takes the tape out of her VCR, as the episode has just ended. The A! fanfic thingee is on...] SLAPPY: Holy sunuv-Milton-Berle! This thing is even more out-of-hand than the first one! Drug rings and people-burning fer gosh sakes... what *ARE* they thinking?! This is a kids' show?! [Looks at the TV as they pull the "two places at once" bit on Axel again...] SLAPPY: And that stupid overused bit again!!! I'm gonna go bonkers an' fly over the cuckoo clock again if I've gotta watch anymore a' dis mindless hooey! [Pops the tape in, rewinds, and begins to rewatch Martial Law] [Warners and Axel in the Warners' golf cart/police vehicle] AXEL: [Ending a story] ...I'd been planning to break M*cky's ring, but he caught me and set me on fire! YAKKO: Do you remember where his hide-out was? AXEL: Yes, why? DOT: We're on a mission sent by Captain Caps to break D*sney's ring! WAKKO: Where's the hide out? AXEL: It's in the sub-basement of the WB Network Censor Building. [Warners turn to each other and gulp] YAKKO: Well then, there's only one thing to do! WAKKO: Maybe we'll slip by unnoticed... [They pull into the WB Network Censor Building's driveway. The Warners and Axel still with their hopes up are trying to sneak by, only to overhear...] LYDIA KARAOKE: I've been overlooking the current Warner fan-fic, and it's just horrid! References to the *other* network all over the place! MATT TUBE: ...Wasn't their plan to come here? [Lydia and Matt turn around, just in time to see the Warners and Axel walk through the front door] WAKKO: Look! It's Lydia Karaoke! YAKKO: Oh, yeah, I remember her from that last story! [The Warners and Axel head towards a stairwell in the building, walking past the still-crushed network censors. Meanwhile, Pinky and Brain are hiding behind a potted plant, watching this whole scene...] BRAIN: They're heading towards Mr. Mouse's lair! Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? PINKY: I think so, Brain, but how much shorter than Ezri Dax and Dr. Bashir *are* we? BRAIN: Probably not that much, Pinky, but I was referring to the Warners and that potty-mouthed Axel character heading towards Mr. Mouse's lair! We must sneak down there and try to apprehend that bowling-ball-eared rodent before those [curling fingers] "puppy children" do! PINKY: Ooh, joy! BRAIN: Now come, we're off! [The two mice head towards the stairwell also, Pinky singing "We're off to see the Rodent, the Wonderful Rodent of D*s---" before being thwapped on the head by Brain's nightstick...] [Cut to Slappy, still watching "Martial Law"...] SLAPPY: Heh, heh! That's it, give those lumps to those bad guys! ...I *love* this guy! Too bad he got paired up with that Arsenio Hall guy, though... [Cut back to the Warners and Axel...] AXEL: We've got to come up with some sort of plan if we're gonna bring down this [bleeping] mouse! DOT: I know! Let's dress him up like a heavy metal musician and ruin his goody-goody image! YAKKO: Let's scare him by pretending we saw a nude figure in every D*sney tape on the shelf to date! WAKKO: Let's do that "two places at..." YAKKO: Wait a minute! I've got it! I know how we can trap that rat! DOT: Uhh, he's a mouse, remember? YAKKO: Hey, it rhymed. Anyway, my plan is... WAKKO: [Interrupting] First, we have to get rid of Lydia and Matt! AXEL: Okay, this is the plan! I'm going to go in there as a censor and proceed to subdue Lydia and Matt, after which I'll call you to come in here to get to the basement. YAKKO: Get it, got it, and it's all good! AXEL: Okay, wish me luck! DOT: Oh Axel, please say you'll survive! AXEL: I *will* survive! WARNERS: [Singing] As long as I know to love, I know I'm still alive! [Axel just smiles and heads in] LYDIA: Drug dealers, a man on fire, a joke about an actor's transgressions and all those horrible D*sney references! My goodness, It's enough to send me over the wall! AXEL: [Speaking in a voice similar to Pip Pumphandle from "Chairman Of The Bored"] Hello. My name is Jerry Schwartz, and I'm your new head censor. LYDIA: Wait, you can't do that! AXEL: Yes, and your first job is to stand over there! You too, Matt! MATT: Yessir! [Lydia and Matt stand in front of a window. A giant anvil falls on them.] AXEL: [In his regular voice] Alright, Warners! Haul! YAKKO: Ok! By the by, welcome to the Let's-Repeat-A-Gag-Until-It-Gets-The-Audience-P.O'd club! DOT & AXEL: That was pointless! YAKKO: So, um... now what? AXEL: We head down to the basement! WAKKO: Aww, I'm kinda havin' fun here... after all, we're in control! DOT: He's right! Besides, our primary concern is to have fun! YAKKO: Um, Dot, Wakko, Axel... we're here to bust up a drug ring! Do you realize how serious that is? Don't you think we're taking this a bit lightly? [All four stare at the screen blankly for a moment...] ALL FOUR: NAAAHHH!!! [Wakko spins in a swivel chair, Dot stamps "approved" on all the scripts, Yakko shreds the "WB Guidelines" book, Axel stands by, looking a bit impatient.] [Cut to the mice behind the door frame.] BRAIN: Pinky, this is perfect! With the Warners distracted, we can capture the mouse! Come, to the basement! PINKY: *NARF* Oh, this is so much fuuuuuuuuun! [Brain grabs him by the tail & they march down the hall.] [P&tB race down the hall and down the stairs. They are in a dark hallway and are running when they are swooped up in a net] P&tB: AHHHH! [Suddenly, from behind them...] VOICE: Ah-ha! PINKY & BRAIN: SNOWBALL!!! PINKY: What happened to your voice? NARF! SNOWBALL: [Looking sad] Since my vocal talent died, [P&tB's ears lower] I've had a new vocal talent. An imitator of my original voice. Not perfect, but very close. PINKY: You can't replace your vocal talent, Snowball. SNOWBALL: [Sadly] No, you can't... BRAIN: What are you doing here? ANOTHER VOICE: He works with ME! PINKY: [Gasps] Why it's... it's... SNOWBALL: Yes, it is, Pinky. It's M*ckey Mouse. [Bleeping noise heard at the astrisk] Darn that stupid censor! BRAIN: You've allied yourself with HIM? SNOWBALL: No, Brain. He works for me. Who do you think is the mind behind the cartel? BRAIN: [Furious] You... you... SNOWBALL: Mick, if you please. [The accursed mouse picks up P&tB and takes them into a room, followed by Snowball] [The Warners arrive just in time to see the door slam] DOT: Oh, no! They have Pinky and the Brain! What are we going to do! Come back my mice! Come back! [She begins to sob. Yakko gives her an Emmy] AXEL: Yet another used joke... WAKKO: One of The Siren's favorites, actually. [Cut to The Siren] THE SIREN: Dot... *giggle* ...big overacting... *snort, giggle* ...Yakko gives her an Emmy... HA! HA! Ha! [Falls out of her chair laughing, as the rest of the class gives her a funny look] [Back to Wakko] WAKKO: I hear she's better at dramatic stories! YAKKO: There's only one thing we can do sibs! [They gather around] WAKKO: Eat? YAKKO: Ehhh, close. We must call on... *Slappy Squirrel*! AXEL, WAKKO, & DOT: *SLAPPY*?! DOT: But Yakko, *why*?! YAKKO: C'mon you guys, just think: Cranky old violence, MGM, and WB loving squirrel vs. all that is evil and goody-goody? Guess which one wins... DOT: Oh, yeah! Sure, why not? WAKKO: Well... OK! Maybe she'll give us some fig-dough surprise... [The Warners and Axel get in their police car, and take off at top speed towards Slappy's tree. Meanwhile, back with our two favorite lab mice, P&tB are locked in a cage, with M*ckey Mouse and Snowball watching evilly] BRAIN: Just how did you get re-evolved, anyway, Snowball? I mean, the gene splicer... SNOWBALL: I was fortunate to accidentally stumble through the gene splicer, old "friend" ...and once I was re-evolved, I decided to put into effect a plan for global domination, with the help of Mr. Mouse here. PINKY: [Angrily] But how could you, Snowball?! I mean, *drugs* of all things, *NARF!* BRAIN: For once, Pinky has a point. This is a new low, even for you, Snowball... once we overheard that Axel's comments about... SNOWBALL: [Laughing] Ahh, Brain, always so naive. You actually believed that simpleton? I'm surprised he's able to tie his own shoelaces! I would never plan a scheme around something like cocaine. Our cartel is much more lucrative... Mr. Mouse, if you'll please? M*CKEY: Sure thing, Snowy! Ha-ha! [Presses a button, and a door opens, revealing a warehouse full of...] PINKY & BRAIN: *BEANIE BABIES?!* SNOWBALL: Yes, my friends, and not just Beanie Babies, but D*sney Beanie Babies! With the prices these will go for on the black market *and* Mr. Mouse's glorious theme parks, I'll soon have the capital I need to take over the world! *HAHAHA!* BRAIN: You're sick, Snowball! SNOWBALL: Oh, am I? Well, I must attend to some business with my friend here... when we return, we'll figure out what to do with you, old "friend". Oh, and don't bother with that lock... it's got quite a, well, "shocking" property to it! Ta-ta! M*CKEY: So long! *Ha-ha*! [Both rodent conspirators leave the room, leaving Pinky and Brain alone] BRAIN: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? PINKY: I think so, Brain, but "Pokemon"? Kids WB must be getting *really* desperate, *NARF*! BRAIN: [Annoyed] *No*, Pinky, I mean we have to get out of here! And if we can put a stop to Snowball's scheme, we can still impress the Captain, and eventually, the world! PINKY: Brilliant, Brain! But one thing: Can I have one of those Pocahontas beanie babies when we're out? TROZ! BRAIN: Pinky, please leave me be while I figure out a way out of here... [While Brain ponders and Pinky drools at the sight of the bootleg Beanie Babies from their cage, we cut back to the Warners, at Slappy's...] SLAPPY: Sure, why not? At least with *me* around maybe this thing'll finally go somewhere... just promise you'll keep all 'a those lame gags of yours to a minimum, OK? YAKKO: Sure thing, right sibs? [Turns toward the sibs; Wakko is busy harassing Axel with that "two places at once" bit yet again, and Dot's flipping through the channels on Slappy's TV] WAKKO: Huh?--I mean, sure thing, Yakko! DOT: Eh? [Turns off TV] Err, sure, Yakko! AXEL: [Calming down from being frightened by Wakko] OK, then, let's get this [bleep] on! SLAPPY: And would you please tone down the swearin' already? This thing's already in enough trouble already, with all o' these D*sney references, and that drug ref, and that dumb "two places" thing being beaten into the ground for the zillionth time! AXEL: Uhh... sure, old squirrel lady. Let's go! [They get in the car, and head back to the Mouse's lair...] [The car drives through the street, zooming around curves, rushing to get to the scene of the crime. Unfortunately, it's not YW&D's car--it's the Batmobile, and Batman & Robin jump out as they reach the scene of the crime.] BATMAN: [In campy Adam West voice] Come, Robin... it's up to us to stop the Joker! ROBIN: [Who looks surprisingly like Chicken Boo] Buk-buk-buk-kaw? BATMAN: Always the strong silent type... NARRATOR: And now, back to the plot! [Meanwhile, *OUR* heroes are having lunch at a McDonald's.] YAKKO: [Mouth full] Hmm... we pretty much used up all the good M*ckey-Dee's gags in the first fanfic... SLAPPY: As well as all the bad ones... WAKKO: Well, we still never got into the pay-potty! SLAPPY: C'mon, you promised... DOT: But... SLAPPY: That's it... ya want dynamite down yer pants? YAKKO: When you put it so sweetly... back to the plot! [They run outside; the Batmobile pulls up. They climb in.] YAKKO: Thanks for the ride. Sorry our Wakko ate the engine to your car, Axel. AXEL: Yeah, right. [Looks angrily at Wakko, who belches in response.] WAKKO: Mmm... axle grease! DOT: [Jumps up & kisses Batman] I love a man in tights! BATMAN: Let's go, Robin! Come! [The Batmobile zooms into the distance with a cloud of dust as a play on the old "Batman" theme plays...] [Cut back to the mice.] BRAIN: I can't believe Snowball would stoop so low! Beanie Babies *AND* D*sney... this is even *WORSE* than drugs! That evil, despicable hamster! PINKY: Yes. Umm, well... have you figured out how to get us out yet, Brain? BRAIN: No, I... wait-a-minute! YES!!! I've got it! PINKY: What's your plan? BRAIN: Fortunately, I remembered I have... *this*! [Pulls out a mouse-sized thermos with water in it] Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? PINKY: I think so, Brain, but I still think the Flash is faster than Superman... BRAIN: *No*, Pinky, we'll just pour this water on that electrified lock, short-circuiting it and freeing us! PINKY: Oh, goody! TROZ! [Brain proceeds to pour water on it; the lock short-circuits, with the door popping open...] PINKY: Egad, Brain! You amaze me! BRAIN: You say that as if it were a challenge, Pinky. And now, let's track down that so-called "mouse" M*ckey and that miscreant Snowball! [Cut to our heroes in another traffic jam.] SLAPPY: Hey, can we get some diet walnut sodas back here? BATMAN: I am not a chauffeur! This is just a favor from me to you! Hello? AXEL: Hey Bats, The squirrel isn't paying attention to you! BATMAN: What's she doing? YAKKO: Making colorful gestures at passing traffic? AXEL: [To the camera] And she tells me not to be vulgar! [The mice run off towards the lair's exit. Meanwhile, the Warners arrive at the Mouse's building entrance...] YAKKO: Thanks for the ride, Batsy! BATMAN: No problem... but *please* don't call me that! DOT: OK, Mr. Worse-Actor-Than-Shatner-Man! BATMAN: [Sighs] [The Batmobile roars off...] YAKKO: C'mon, sibs, let's go! [All head towards the entrance, but once inside, find the entire staff of the McDonald's...] STAFF MEMBER: We followed you here after we recognized you as the guys who did that "two places at once" bit that almost drove away all our customers permanently a few months back! MEMBER #2: Get 'em! [They start waving around various kitchen tools in the air, yelling and screaming] WARNERS: Uhh-ohhhhh... SLAPPY: [chuckling] Heh, that's what ya get for beating that tired runnin' gag into the ground! DOT: Uhh, Slappy, these guys aren't gonna be too discriminating against who they pulverize! SLAPPY: Oh... yeah. DOT: So, what do we do? We've already done the anvil thing... YAKKO: I have an idea! AXEL: If it's that [bleeping] "two places" gag again, I swear... DOT: I'll say you do! Yeesh! YAKKO: Don't worry Axel, my idea's this... we'll use an old Slappy gag! [Pulls out a roller and repaints the background. They're now in the Mouse's hideout.] SLAPPY: Well, at least they reused one of *MY* old bits... AXEL: What the [BEEP] is goin' on here?! This is a pain in the [BEEP]in' [BEEP]! Where the [BEEP] are we now?! WAKKO: Umm... watch your language. Didn't your mother teach you not to swear? AXEL: Mommy was very kind to me... DOT: Umm... according to the script [Pulls out said document] Pinky & the Brain are supposed to be here... where are they? YAKKO: Uhh... [Suddenly, the Batmobile blasts through the wall.] BATMAN: Don't worry, Robin. We'll stop the... huh? WAKKO: Hello! BATMAN: Uhh... is there a drug ring here? DOT: Apparently not. YAKKO: Thankfully for our censors... WAKKO: But there's a Beanie Baby one! BATMAN: Holy Dakin! This is horrible! Look at all these... do you realize how much they'd go for on the Black Market?! YAKKO: Umm... sounds like an evil scheme to me! DOT: So where'd the baddies go? WAKKO: Uhh... there? [Points to the staircase that the mice had exited on.] AXEL: Then let's go! [The Warners, Batman, "Robin", Slappy, and Axel race up the stairs Pinky and Brain took, only to find the mice at the top of the stairs, tied to the hands of a giant M*ckey Mouse wristwatch whose hands read 11:55... also present is...] YAKKO: *Gasp*! It's... the Mouse! SNOWBALL: And me, of course! [The mice murmur through their gagged mouths, until the gags fall out...] PINKY: It's a trap! *POIT!* M*CKEY: I knew that it wouldn't be good enough to keep them locked up in that cage; when we saw them at the top of the stairs, I merely caught them again, and tied them to...this trap! [waves hand toward the giant wristwatch] When these hands strike 12, it'll blow both them *and* this building to bits! [high-pitched laugh] *Ha-ha!* YAKKO: You're sick! First torching Axel here, then dealing with bootleg Beanie Babies, and *now*, this! SNOWBALL: And that's not all. While we escape in our waiting truck outside with all the Beanie Babies loaded aboard, you'll be too busy dealing with our hired martial arts goons to do anything to stop us *or* the watch bomb! Ta-ta! [Both villainous mouse and hamster leave] YAKKO: *What* martial arts goons? [Suddenly, the group's surrounded by various martial arts types, the kind one sees in those kickboxing movies] YAKKO: Oh... *those*... DOT: What'll we do, guys? BATMAN: I guess we'll just have to fight our way out. Ready, Robin? ROBIN: Buck-*caw!* SLAPPY: It's a good thing I watched that "Martial Law" tape earlier... YAKKO: OK, let's go! [The Warners pull out from out of nowhere their Super Strong Warner Siblings outfits, and put them on] *RIGHT!* [That cheesy Batman fight theme music plays, as each character takes on a separate martial arts goon...] *KRAK!* *BIFF!* *NARF!* *POIT!* *YERT!* BRAIN: Pinky, will you *cease* with making those annoying fake sound effects? PINKY: Oh, sorry, Brain, TROZ! [The fighting continues. Slappy tosses a bomb towards her assailant, and watches the bomb explode, leaving him collapsed on the floor.] SLAPPY: Well, that was pointless. [Axel faces his assailant] AXEL: [Nervously] Uh... did I ever tell you I'm doing another standup comedy movie? You'll collapse on the floor and laugh your [bleep] off! I'll give you free tickets! [The assailant screams, and runs off...] AXEL: Now *that* was *really* [bleeping] pointless... [Batman and Robin fight in a stilted, poorly-acted manner against their assailants. Suddenly, one of the opponents inadvertently pulls off "Robin's mask] ROBIN: Buck-*AW!* AXEL: He's a chicken! A giant [bleeping] chicken! BATMAN: He *is not*, you foul-mouthed comedian! He's a brave crime fighter! [Puts mask back on "Robin's" face for him; they continue fighting their foes] [The Warners walk up, back in their normal clothing] YAKKO: Well, we're done! SLAPPY: What'd ya do? No, wait, lemme guess: That lame "two places" bit *again*?! WAKKO: Yeah, *and* a few anvils! [Sounds of the Warners' assailants muffled-by-anvils screaming can be heard in the distance] SLAPPY: Figures... yeesh. Later on, remind me to teach you guys some new cartoon gags sometime. WAKKO: Faboo! [Sounds of Batman and Robin still fighting can be heard off in the background] PINKY: [Cheering] Yeah, way to go, all of you! [Nervously] Uhh... do you think you could save us now? It's 11:59! *POIT*! YAKKO: Aaaaaah... how are we gonna save the mice, guys? BRAIN: [Angrily] If *anyone* of you say the words "two places", I will *guarantee* there'll be a 12-inch wooden ruler making contact with your head if we ever get out of this!! WAKKO: Shoot... so much for that idea... SLAPPY: Lemme take a whack at it! *I'm* the bomb expert here! YAKKO: Ok, go to it! SLAPPY: Ahh, finally! Something good! Wakko, ya have any explosives in your gag bag? WAKKO: Sure! [Wakko whips out tons of bombs and a few Molotov cocktails as well] AXEL: Those [bleep]ers burned me, now they'll know what it's like to get crisp. [While the "Beverly Hills Cop"-variant A! music plays quietly in the background, Slappy is placing bombs all around the inside of the building] AXEL: Hey, Slap? Did you ever stop to think that we might die? SLAPPY: Yes, but don't worry! You'll be fine because... [Slappy whispers the plan to Axel. We pan over to Pinky & Brain] PINKY: Brain, there are no drugs in there! I'm surprised that a man... err, mouse of your intelligence didn't see that! BRAIN: Why, that's a very intelligent comment! Let me test you out! Pinky, Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering? PINKY: I think so, Brain, but why would Slappy rig up more explosives? BRAIN: WHAT? That dotty old squirrel has more explosives set up? PINKY: Yes! BRAIN: Well Then! I guess it's time to say goodbye! If you chime in with a reference to that awful club the mouse owns, you're in deep [bleep]! AXEL: [Overhearing P&B] Ohmigod! You crazed squirrel, we only have a few seconds left until we die! YAKKO: I guess she went over the cuckoo clock again! SLAPPY: Alright! Everybody, make a run for the door! [The animation speeds up many frames as our heroes run and dive out of a window] PINKY & BRAIN: What about us?! 5 4 3 2 [Cut to outside; everyone's behind conveniently placed sandbags...] SLAPPY: Everyone, hit the deck! [Cut to the mice inside...] BRAIN: [Choked up] Well, Pinky, I'm afraid it's been... *gulp* ...nice knowing you. PINKY: *Sniff* Same here, Brain... [Cut back to outside, behind the sandbags] AXEL: Wait a minute! Couldn't we have just tried to *untie* them?! YAKKO: Aaaaaah... I guess. AXEL: I'm goin' back in there! SLAPPY: Axel! Wait! The bombs are gonna go off any minute! [Axel ignores Slappy and heads back in to try to untie our two lab mice. Moments later, an earth-shattering KA-BOOM! rocks the entire building, reducing it to rubble...] WAKKO: Gee, is Axel... *gulp* ...Ok? Or Pinky and Brain? [Suddenly, walking out of the rubble, come the two lab mice] PINKY: Here we are! POIT! BRAIN: Yes, it's a good thing that Axel was able to untie us in time... *drat*, why didn't I think of that sooner? PINKY: Gee, Brain, this story must be making your chubby little head hurt... and we've hardly even done that "two places" bit in this act! TROZ! BRAIN: [Angrily] Pinky, I *told* you to not mention those words! [Brain whips out a wooden ruler from nowhere, and thwaps Pinky on the head (*NARF!*)] PINKY: [Slightly in pain] Oof! Sorry, Brain... YAKKO: Hey, where's Axel? BRAIN: He said he had to obtain some records of the Beanie Baby cartel so that we could track down where that vile Snowball and M*ckey were headed! [From the smoking rubble, we see Axel walk up, holding several manila folders and looking a bit worse for wear] AXEL: Maaaan! That was da *BOMB*, all right! [Quick cut to Wakko at drums, doing rimshot noise] SLAPPY: And yet another lame joke has been done... YAKKO: Hey, now we can find out where those guys went to take those Beanie Babies to! Good work, Axel! AXEL: Yeah! It says they were going to... *gasp* uhh, you guys aren't gonna like where they've headed... WAKKO: Where'd they go? School? YAKKO: William Shatner's house? DOT: The center of the Earth? SLAPPY: A show that has more than two running jokes? BRAIN: A show that actually has a logical plot? PINKY: D*sney W*rl-- *URKK!* [Pinky's nose is grabbed by Brain] AXEL: Actually, only Pinky's correct; that's where those [bleeps] went! YAKKO: Oh, geez, now we're going to... that place. This story keeps gettin' worse and worse with these D*sney refs, I tell you... DOT: I know... but we've got to go anyway! The rest of the plot depends on it! WAKKO: You're right! Let's go! DOT: Hey, where's Batman and Robin? [Cut to the Joker's hideout, where both are being tied to a giant alarm clock] JOKER: Ha-ha-ha! It's a good thing that Animaniacs story was on, or I'd *never* have gotten this idea! [Cut back to the Warners and co.] WAKKO: Hey, but they left their car! Let's use it and head to Orlando! OTHERS: Yeah! [They all climb into the car, and make tracks for... "that place"...] WAKKO: Can we stop for more food? YAKKO: Maybe later, but if we do, no *McDonald's*! PINKY: [Slightly disappointed] *TROZ*... [The car roars off in the distance, to rendezvous with Snowball and the Mouse...] RADIO-DJ: And now, here's Golden Earring with "Twilight Zone". [The Warners hum the opening notes of the TV show's theme.] RADIO-DJ: Wrong One! [As "Twilight Zone" plays in the background, We see a montage of the heroes and villains driving down the highway. We see various tourist stops, the dreaded 2-Places-At-Once gag and other sights. Our heroes stop at a gas station.] EMPLOYEE: [Who sounds like Stone Cold Steve Austin] Pick your gas! SLAPPY: Premium! AXEL: So whatta we do now? YAKKO: Well, we're in Florida! Who's up for a round of miniature golf? [Baby Plucky appears out of nowhere.] BABY PLUCKY: We'll play minister golf! EMPLOYEE: That's "Miniature Golf"! Holy mother of pearl, is that duck annoying? O.K, there you go! 50 Dollars Due! SLAPPY: There you go! DOT: Hey look, we're only one hour away! WAKKO: There's a hotel! OTHERS: Why does that matter? WAKKO: It's late and I'm getting sleepy! AXEL: Yeah, me too! YAKKO: Okkay, we'll get some sleep and get ready for a takedown on the morn! Goodnight, Everybody! [In Florida, the group drives off to find a hotel...] WAKKO: Uhh, Yakko? YAKKO: What? WAKKO: I have to go potty... and get something to eat! I'm starving! YAKKO: Eat? We just stopped somewhere a half-hour ago! WAKKO: Yeah, but I just wanted to check to see if any "Wakko's Wish" toys were gonna be carried there! Look, it's a little plastic version of me! DOT: [Flatly] We're thrilled, Wakko. WAKKO: But can we stop somewhere, *please*?! YAKKO: Oh, all right! I suppose this story *does* need a few more moments of padding... and I'm still not looking forward to going to... "that place" ...after we eat, we'll go check into a motel and make our plans, OK, guys! AXEL: Sure thing! [The Batmobile pulls into a Burger King parking lot, where inside...] AXEL: Oooh, yeah, the Whopper! Now we're *really* talkin' about a *good* burger! SLAPPY: Yeah, that M*ckey Dee's stuff is just awfu--hey, wait a minute, I was referring to *McDonald's* there, ya stupid censors, *not* that dumb rodent! [Cut to the long-since-recovered-from-being-anvilled Lydia Karaoke in her office] LYDIA: Sorry, but we're not taking any more chances, especially given this story's "content" to date. [Cut back to Burger King] SLAPPY: Geez, whatta yutz. How's your food, Brain? BRAIN: Though I much prefer the cuisine of Wendy's, this restaurant does make a fairly decent array of salads. [Turns, slightly surprised] Pinky, what in the name of W.E.B. DuBois are you *DOING*?! PINKY: I ran across the street to the McDonald's to buy a Happy Meal! Look, Brain, they're giving away "D*sney's Greatest Characters" toys! TROZ! And look at the box: "coming next week: McDonald's presents another Beanie Baby offer in conjunction with D*sney!" POIT! BRAIN: Hmm... Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? PINKY: I think so, Brain, but the robots on Mystery Science Theater 3000 would've choked on this story a long time ago! *NARF*! [Cut to the Satellite of Love, where Mike and the robots are writhing in pain] MIKE: No more! No *more*! CROW: Make it stop! *Make it stop*! *sob* TOM: C'mon you guys! Don't you remember "Gunslinger"? I told you that it's possible to easily be in two places at once! CROW: *Get 'im!* [Mike and Crow attack Tom...] [Cut back to the restaurant] SLAPPY: Now these cameos are *really* gettin' ridiculous... yet that one *did* have a point... BRAIN: No, Pinky, I mean that this is how they're planning on selling the Beanie Babies! Through McDonald's! The hordes of middle-aged, middle-class speculators will mindlessly flood every McDonald's from here to Seattle in order to buy the little pincushions! Snowball will surely make massive amounts of money, unless we stop him! Come, let's be off! SLAPPY: Sure, but where's Axel and the Warners? [The Warners are busy harassing both Axel *and* the staff with that "two places at once" bit] [Brain and Slappy whap their heads against the table] PINKY: *Wahahah!* They're in two places at once! Fun-fun silly willy! NARF! [Brain whaps Pinky on the head with his straw] SLAPPY: Got any more rulers, Brain? BRAIN: Sorry, Slappy, that was my last one; I used up the rest of them when Pinky and I did that cameo on "Spin City" awhile ago... [Flashback to this cameo; piles of broken rulers and #2 pencils lie everywhere...] MIKE: Brain, just *how* did you go through the entire office supply budget in one *week*?! [Sounds of Brain hitting the annoying, rude, gray-haired guy with the glasses on the head with a ruler] STEWART: Ow! That really hurt, Brain! BRAIN: Maybe next time you'll learn not to treat women so chauvinistically, or Carter in such a vile and mean-spirited manner, like he was from another planet! STEWART: [Snickering] Yeah, the planet of the... [thwap!] OW! [Cut back to restaurant] BRAIN: *shudder* I don't think I'll be doing *that* again anytime soon... SLAPPY: Anyway, let's stop those Warners and get on with stoppin' Snowball, before it's too late! [The Warners, Axel, Slappy, Pinky and The Brain check into a fancy hotel. Hello Nurse is the clerk] YAKKO & WAKKO: Hellooooo Nurse! YAKKO: What's a nice girl like you doing in a state like this? HELLO NURSE: Well, when I was fired, my uncle offered me a job here. SLAPPY: Yeesh, what a lame cliche! HELLO NURSE: [Ignores Slappy] Who's your friend? YAKKO: Meet officer Axel Foley of the Detroit Police! AXEL: Pleased to meet you! Anyway, we want a suite! HELLO NURSE: Sure thing, tall, burnt and handsome! [Dissolve to the Presidential suite] BILL CLINTON: Hey, get out of here! [Oops, wrong suite. Cut to The Warner's room.] YAKKO: Can we order an adult movie? YAKKO & WAKKO: Hellooooo Nurse! SLAPPY & DOT: Perverts! AXEL: Shut the [bleep] up! I'm trying to get some sleep here! BRAIN: [Resting on a towel] You said it, my foul-mouthed friend! AXEL: We need rest if we're to take down the mice! BRAIN: Hey, hold the phone! What mice? AXEL: M*ckey and Snowball! BRAIN: Snowball is a hamster! AXEL: Look, they're villainous furry things so does it matter what the [bleep] we call the little buggers? BRAIN: I guess you're right... [Everybody gets into their beds. Dissolve to early morning] [Slappy is walking outside the door. She sees Cheech Marin running down a hallway.] SLAPPY: Aha, Drug Cartel, Drug Comedians? DOT: Cheech & Chong aren't together anymore and it isn't a drug ring! [Slappy is getting a diet walnut soda out of a vending machine when a gun is pointed at her head.] M*CKEY: Come with me, squirrel! SLAPPY: LET GO O' ME, YOU YUTZ! [Axel hears this. He jolts out of being half-asleep.] AXEL: Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Pinky, Brain! Slappy's been kidnapped! EVERYONE: Oh [BLEEP]! [Axel, The Warners, Pinky and Brain are making a mad dash for the door.] YAKKO: Here, have a bag of money. Goodbye, Nurse! [Axel hops to the Batmobile and tries to turn it on. Nothing happens.] AXEL: [Bleep]! This [bleeping] car won't start! YAKKO: [In a Chicago accent] Da parts have been taken out, my friend! AXEL: Great! Absolutely [bleeping] great! Slappy's been kidnapped, the [bleeping] car won't start, Yakko's talking like he stepped out of a "Saturday Night Live" sketch, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses! [Yakko spots 6 motorcycles.] YAKKO: Let's get those motorcycles! Perhaps we can get Slappy! DOT: One thing, hotshot! How do we know where they are? YAKKO: We follow that trail of Beanie Babies! DOT: How convenient! [Babs Bunny appears out of nowhere.] BABS: That's my line, sister! DOT: Leave me alone! [Axel, The Warners, Pinky and Brain hop onto the motorcycles and speed away. 6 tough-looking goons step out of the hotel bar.] GANG MEMBER #1: Hey, what the dilly, yo? GANG MEMBER #2: Someone stole our bikes! GANG MEMBER #1: Let's get those mother [bleep]ers! [The gang beats up a man stepping into his big rig and they hop in. They speed down the boulevard. Axel, The Warners, Pinky and Brain are riding on the highway. All of a sudden, they see a pig, a frog, a bear and a "whatever" in a Studebager.] YAKKO: Hey, it's Kermit the Frog. KERMIT: Hi! Are you here to get rid of M*ckey, too? AXEL: Yes, but why do you? I mean, you have an attraction at one of their theme parks, don't you? PIGGY: It's just that D*sney wants to buy us out again! We have to prevent them from doing it! BRAIN: Alright, I'll lead! Everyone, follow me! We're within the limits of the area. [Brain, Pinky, The Warners, Axel and the Muppets all ride into W*lt D*sney W*rld.] [They zoom through the street. Close up on Brain & Pinky on their bike... they look similar to the way they did in "TV or Not TV".] BRAIN: Pinky, this is getting wildly out of hand!. PINKY: I rather like it! BRAIN: You would... listen, we must return to our original scheme for world domination! PINKY: But, Brain... we've gotta stop Snowball & M*ckey! BRAIN: Oh, we will, my friend! Once we bust up their Beanie Baby ring, we can revert to our original plan of being promoted by Captain Caps and soon achieving the title of global ruler! Come; through careful analysis of this map [Holds up map] I have determined a shortcut to D*sney W*rld! We will beat the Warners and company and bust up the mouse and the hamster's scheme before the Warners even arrive! PINKY: Egad, Brain, *brilliant!* But, wait...won't we get sued if we go to... that place? BRAIN: Who cares... Warner Brothers will pay the fines... besides, it's for the good of the world! [The mice pull into some shrubs to a secret path & head on their way.] YAKKO: Hey, where'd Pinky & Brain go? AXEL: They just [bleep]in' disappeared! SLAPPY: Ahh, good riddance... KERMIT: We can worry later! C'mon, we've gotta stop the *OTHER* mice! WAKKO: Snowball's a hamster. [Obviously, nobody cares about this, so on with the plot] [Cut to Batman & the Boo Wonder tied to the giant alarm clock, about to reach '12'.] JOKER: Hee-hee! The pressure's on! [Music: Bum-bum-buuuuuuuuummmmmmm] [As the "Beverly Hills Cop"-Variant A! music plays in the background, our heroes arrive at an interstate.] AXEL: [Finishing Up] ...So we'll each take different parts of this place. Yakko-You take the M***c K***dom. Wakko, you'll be doing the A****l K***dom. Dot, you're taking on the D*sney-MGM Studios. Brain, you'll be at E***t C***er. Pinky and I will cruise P***ure Island. GONZO: What do we take? YAKKO: Manhattan! AXEL: Seriously, you'll be staying here and taking down messages on the CB that Brain's hooked up. Let's split up. We'll be able to catch them red-handed. GONZO: What color are their hands now? DOT: Oh, you do annoying running gags also? AXEL: Dot, You'll have to do the 2-places-at-once gag again, because you're coming with me to P***ure Island! DOT: Excellent! AXEL: Wakko, you'll also be splitting yourself. You're also going to E***t C***er. [Axel and the Warners have now split up. Axel is riding his motorcycle to P***ure Island with Dot when the evil gang rides up behind him.] GANG MEMBER #4: Hey Axel, You stole our bikes! Now we'll steal your life! [Two motorcycle punks holding chains ride up behind Axel. Axel ducks and the punks ride into a tollbooth, flying off their bikes and getting run over by the monorail.] DOT: Good riddance! [Yakko rides his bike into the M*gic K***dom.] TICKET-TAKER: Sir, you'll have to pay to get in here. YAKKO: Here, have a fat-free yogurt! [Ticket Taker lets him in, Cut to Wakko] WAKKO: Umm... so, here we go! [Splits in two.] WAKKO # 1: Ok, you go to Epc*t! WAKKO # 2: I'm not going there, you go there! WAKKO # 1: No! You! I created you! WAKKO # 2: No you didn't! I created you! WAKKO # 1: OK, umm... let's settle this with a little game of "Go Fish"... hee hee... it's a lot easier fighting with myself when I don't hafta jump back and forth to play both parts... [Cut to Batman & the Boo Wonder] BATMAN: Well, Boo Wonder, I suppose it's hopeless. There's no way for the Warners to win, nor for us to escape before the next commercial break... BOO WONDER: Buk-kaw! BATMAN: Why, that's brilliant, Boo Wonder! But where would they find a duck and a hose at this hour? [Cut to Pinky & Brain] BRAIN: Yes, Pinky! It's time to put my plan into action! PINKY: You mean writing the come-back episode for "Road Rovers"?! BRAIN: No, Pinky, that's Tom Ruegger... I think... At any rate, I'm going to stop the hamster and the mouse! They're currently at the one place in D*sney W*rld the Warners wouldn't think to look! PINKY: Umm... which is...? BRAIN: [Sighs] Which *IS* ...Dang, I forgot! PINKY: Here, play with a stick and try to remember what happened! Also remember that a stick is your friend! [Cut to Yakko] YAKKO: [Riding into Space Mountain] Move it! Officer of the law coming through! [Yakko rides onto the ride] YAKKO: Yippee! That was uncharacteristic! [Cut to the mouse and hamster's secret hide-out.] SLAPPY: Jeez, won't this cockamamie thing ever end? M*CKEY: It'll end when that bullet enters your head! [Suddenly, Lydia Karaoke bursts through a door.] LYDIA: It will not! I'm stopping this story right here! SNOWBALL: M*ckey, tie up the evil woman! LYDIA: Wait! You can't do that! [Dissolve to Lydia, now tied up.] LYDIA: I guess I spoke too soon. [Cut back to Pinky and Brain] BRAIN: Our trap is simple: We shall hack into the D*sney W*rld entertainment system and play *these* in a continuous loop! [Brain pulls out a videotape copy labeled "Pinky's Animaniacs Episodes Collection, Vol. 1" and an "Animaniacs" music CD] BRAIN: The tourists, actually seeing and hearing something more worthwhile than the latest D*sney direct-to-video promos and "It's a Small World" will surely cause some sort of ruckus! It will also draw M*ckey out into the open, where we will drop a net on top of him, thereby trapping him and beating the Warners to the punch! PINKY: Egad, brilliant! Oh, no, wait... what about Snowball? BRAIN: One of the episodes on this tape is "Brain Noir", Pinky. As the first episode on the tape, it will surely draw that hamster out with M*ckey as well! PINKY: Oh, joy! Then can we play my collection of "Timecop" episodes throughout the park? BRAIN: [Sighs] Be quiet, Pinky, and follow me! [The mice run off...meanwhile] YAKKO: [Speaking into his walkie-talkie] Wakko, Dot, come here to Space Mountain, quick! [Wakko and Dot arrive by Yakko's side in typical cartoon super-speed on their motorcycles; Wakko's back in one piece, and Dot's holding a cotton candy cone] WAKKO & DOT: What is it? DOT: I was about to talk to a cute guy dressed as Aladdin! WAKKO: And I was busy promoting my new video, until those nice guards showed up... but I handled them pretty well... [Cut to guards, mashed under anvils] YAKKO: Geez, anvils *again*?! DOT: Hey, it's the second most popular gag in this thing after that "two places at once" bit... YAKKO: Ok, ok... Anyway, I think I've found the secret entrance to that rodent's lair! [Yakko points at a side wall, showing an elevator labeled "To Secret Lair; Management Only"] DOT: Brilliant work, Yakko! WAKKO: Faboo! YAKKO: Thanks, sibs! Now, let's take advantage of the carelessness of the Big Cheese himself! M*ckey M*use? Big Cheese? Mouse? Cheese? Get it? DOT: [Annoyed] We get it, Yakko. [The Warners get in the elevator, leaving the bikes parked. Wakko presses the "down" button, and the elevator begins its descent into the rodent's lair...] [Meanwhile, in the lair] SLAPPY: And what's with the idea of you execs canceling all the good stuff? And that "Catty... birdy... brainless... cartooney... kablooey... whatever thing?" LYDIA: I'm telling you, the network thinks it'll pull in the valued and coveted age 2-11 demographic! SLAPPY: Yeah? Well, I think that... [Slappy's voice is cut off by the sounds of "Wakko's America" blaring out over the speakers at full blast...and the lair's video screens showing "Brain Noir"] SNOWBALL: What's going on? How did *that* get on our screens? M*CKEY: It's on every channel in the park! Come on, let's investigate! SNOWBALL: Yes, let's... I think our guests are sufficiently bounded up for now... [M*ckey and Snowball head for a set of stairs leading up from the lair...] [Pan to the mice] BRAIN: Pinky, look! Here come the rodents! Get the net! PINKY: *NARF* Righty-o, Brain! [He pulls out a net and drops it. However, it seems to have a rather large hole in top, allowing the rodents to escape without much trouble. They are quite angry, though.] SNOWBALL: There they are! GET THEM!!!! [The two run after Pinky & Brain, who run in terror.] PINKY & BRAIN: YAAAHHH!!! [Cut to the Warners entering the hideout.] WAKKO: Slappy! DOT: Lydia! YAKKO: Umm... the tattooed lady? [Yakko then goes into his best Groucho imitation doing that particular number...] LYDIA: Umm... I'm afraid I'm going to have to stop you right there... YAKKO: Yeesh... have some sense of humor. LYDIA: Well, I'm sure that song certainly wouldn't be approved by Mr. Kellner, Mr. Tube, Mr. Mater, or myself... [The Warners untie Slappy, and the groups leaves, sans Lydia.] LYDIA: WAIT! I'M STILL TIED UP! YAKKO: [Leaving] I know! We've done the entertainment world a great service! LYDIA: Darn. [Meanwhile, M*ckey captures Pinky & Brain.] M*CKEY: [Does an evil spin on his 'Ha-ha!' laugh] SNOWBALL: Oh, Brain... it's over! I've finally got you! [Does lots of evil laughter] [Through some freak event, there are still D*sney promos running on a TV.] YAKKO: Hey guys, listen to this! [They watch a preview for "M*lan". They recognize the voice of M*shu as...] WARNERS: AXEL FOLEY! DOT: That double-crosser! He says he's on our side! To think I fell in love with him? YAKKO: Let's find Axel and give him the what-for! WAKKO: Doesn't it matter that he was almost killed by that mouse? YAKKO: Once a D*sney employee, Always a D*sney employee! DOT: Wait, but what about Jess, Tress and Rob? They worked for those guys! YAKKO: Is there no mercy? [Cut to Axel] AXEL: [Explaining a scene from Beverly Hills Cop] Alright, so then I get thrown out a window and then I say... YAKKO: Well, lookee here! If it isn't our old buddy Axel Foley? DOT: Buddy, that is, until we found out you were working for our "friend" M*ckey! SLAPPY: So, in honor of your traitoring, here's dynamite down your pants! [Slappy puts several kegs of dynamite in Axel's pants. They explode and Axel is sent flying.] AXEL: [Bleep] You, you mother [bleeping] Sons-of-[Bleeps]! YAKKO: [Mwah!] Goodnight, everybody! Well, that's over! Come, siblings! Let's fight the power! SLAPPY: That's *it*! Enough with the swearin', you guys! That isn't *your* style! YAKKO: So true, Slappy. WAKKO: Actually, it's sort of in character for Dot; remember "Cutie and the Beast"? [Dot glowers at Wakko, who grins sheepishly] YAKKO: Well, you guys, we still have to track down... [Yakko's interrupted by the TV monitors switching from D*sney promo footage and the rigged-by-Brain "Brain Noir" episode to an image of Snowball and M*ckey] M*CKEY: Hello, Warners; only this TV is displaying this message... I'd hate to have the tourists see *this* side of me, *ha-ha*! SNOWBALL: Come to the Epc*t C*nter within 20 minutes, or you'll never see your little albino friends again! [Cut to Pinky and Brain, tied up once again] BRAIN: This is getting repetitive. PINKY: Oh, I dunno, Brain, at least these ropes are nice and tight in a kidnapped-by-insane-rodents way, POIT! BRAIN: Pinky, you frighten me sometimes. [The TV monitor goes blank, then resumes playing promos for "Angels at the Lacrosse Field"; "Brain Noir" also resumes playing] YAKKO: Gee, guys, we only have 20 minutes to reach them! SLAPPY: Right! Let's get goin', then---hey, where'd the Warners go? [Slappy looks around, and sees the Warners harassing someone with that "two places" bit to a guy in a Goofy costume] SLAPPY: [slapping her face] Aargh! You stupid kids! What're you *doing*?! WAKKO: Well, we *do* have *20* minutes to save them! YAKKO: Yeah, which gives us at least, aaaah... 19 or so to waste? [Slappy grabs the Warners by the ears, and begins dragging them off towards the Epc*t C*nter] SLAPPY: New running gags... I'm *definitely* got to teach you guys some new running gags... WAKKO: Faboo! [Pinky & Brain sit tied up.] BRAIN: Pinky, what can we do? Whether the Warners come or not, we'll be dead! Ah, well, the world will never know... what could have been... [Brain looks up to the Heavens and begins to sing "To Scheme the Improbable Scheme" as clips from previous episodes play with a tear-drop effect on the border...] PINKY: Oh, it's alright, Brain! You did your best. BRAIN: No, Pinky, I... it's almost... as if I didn't *WANT* to succeed. I enjoyed trying so much, I never actually *WANTED* to take over the world... I put my own enjoyment ahead of the world's good... I could have, if only... M*CKEY: Shaddup, you two! Razza-frazzin' mice... BRAIN: Pinky, if I ever get out... I promise myself that I *WILL* take over the world! I will... SCHEEEMMME the improbable SCHEEEMMME! PINKY: Oh, Brain. How touching! BRAIN: Yes. Too bad the lazy writer couldn't come up with a *NEW* song... [Cut to Craig, a cup of coffee beside him as he sits by his computer..] CRAIG: [Wide-eyed] No... you see, there's no time... I've gotta finish this part before...*THEY* get me! The big government guys! They're in kahoots with D*sney! They're all against me! I'm telling a story that needs to be told and there's no time for songs, *MAN*! [Takes a huge gulp of coffee and refills it. He then slurps down that cup too. His eyes are now even wider] [Back to Pinky & Brain] PINKY: Are we going to do that Please Get a Life Foundation thingee...? BRAIN: No, Pinky, it's been done to death... *sigh* Well, let's get ready to die. SNOWBALL: *YES!* [And the gratuitous maniacal laughter again!] [The Warners and Slappy arrive at Epc*t C*nter, only to find Snowball's voice coming from a speaker] SNOWBALL: Greetings, my friends... Now, prepare to meet a cruel, hideous fate! YAKKO: More martial arts-trained assassins? WAKKO: More ways to promote my video? [Holds up the plastic Wakko Wendy's toy he bought earlier] DOT: More pointless character cameos? SLAPPY: More gags than those "two places at once", "right behind him", and "anvils" bits? SNOWBALL: No, it's... [A hatch opens from the ground, and out comes D*nald, D*isy, M*ckey, M*nnie, and G*ofy, all looking ready to fight] ...the greatest D*sney characters ever created! These guys will be sure to put the kibosh on your cancelled animated inkblot selves in no time! Ta-ta... I have to call McDonald's to make arrangements for the D*sney's Beanie Babies promos! *Hahahaha!* [Snowball exits the scene] [The Warners and Slappy gather in a huddle] YAKKO: Guys, these are D*sney's most famous and greatest characters ever created! How do we beat them? [Cut to Pinky, Brain, and Snowball] SNOWBALL: Ahh, Brain, I hope your stay's been a pleasant one. After those D*sney characters make mincemeat out of your puppy-brats, I'll be able to sell these bootleg Beanie Babies to frenzied middle-aged speculators and parents everywhere! *Hahaha!* PINKY: They aren't puppies! *POIT!* [Snowball leaves the room] BRAIN: How do I get out of this one? I must ponder a solution! [The Warners stand surrounded by the aforementioned D*sney characters.] YAKKO: Alright, guys... looks like we'll hafta fight our way out using something these guys haven't had experience with in quite some time! WAKKO: Which is...? DOT: REAL COMEDY! [D*nald jumps up and down, screaming mad.] YAKKO: My friend, you need something to calm you... [An huge anvil falls on the aforementioned Duck] That oughta do it. Don't you feel much better now? D*NALD: [Under anvil] Squack. [Wakko looks at G**fy.] G**FY: AHYUCK! How are ya? WAKKO: Fine, thanks. [Makes a gookie.] [Suddenly, G**fy goes into hysterics and can't stop laughing.] G**FY: AHYUCK! That's the funniest thing I've seen since Walt died! Ahyuck! [Falls over laughing.] [Dot looks at M*nnie] DOT: [To audience] Watch this. [To M*nnie.] I'm cuter than you. M*NNIE: No you're not! DOT: Am too! M*NNIE: Are not! [M*nnie does her bit, then Dot does a cute bit. They go on like this two or three times, until Dot does her most devastating one. M*nnie can't take it and falls to the floor.] DOT: It's just a little thing I do. [Yakko jumps into D*isy's arms.] YAKKO: HELLOOOOO, web-footed nurse! [Gives her a big kiss.] D*ISY: YAAAHHH!!! [Tries to run away, but gets run down by Road Runner, in a gratuitous cameo. As she tries to get up, Wile E. Coyote runs over her, in a race car. She's down for the count.] YAKKO: What are *THEY* doing here? DOT: Same thing we are. WAKKO: Well, now what? OFF-SCREEN VOICE: [Very angry] Oh, you're not done yet! WARNERS: Huh? OFF-SCREEN VOICE: You haven't dealt with... *me* [Comes onscreen to reveal himself as a *VERY* angry, evil-looking M*ckey M*use.] WARNERS: Uh...oh. YAKKO: Why are we fearing this guy? We can get rid of him easily! WAKKO: Are we gonna drop an anvil on him? YAKKO: Yes, along with a few surprises! [Anvils start raining down on M*ckey, followed in rapid progression by oil tankers, the remains of the Titanic, bombs, a Sam's Club and a car with Puff Daddy and his entourage in it after which an anvil drops on Puff's car.] SLAPPY: And now, the coup de grace... [A 20 ton payload of dynamite explodes the entire thing, sending all the objects flying. Besides that, Snowball is sent rocketing into the sky.] [Cut back to Pinky and the Brain. We see the mice tied up in their ropes] BRAIN: We *must* think of a way to escape from here! PINKY: Umm, Brain... BRAIN: Not *now*, Pinky! I must *think*! PINKY: But, Braaaain... BRAIN: [Sighs] Fine... what is it, Pinky? PINKY: I think we could just use this police academy switchblade they gave me! It was soooo shiny! POIT! [Despite his bounds, Pinky manages to finger his way into his uniform's pockets, and pull out a mouse-sized pocket knife; opening the blade, he manages to begin cutting... soon, both mice are freed] BRAIN: Pinky, for once your fascination for bright, shiny objects has *paid off*! [Brain looks at the monitor, only to see playing out the Warners' defeat of Snowball and M*ckey; Brain's eyes become big saucers, and he pounds his head against the screen] BRAIN: Blast it! We've missed our chance of capturing the Warners and M*ckey! And with it, dies my plan...*come*, Pinky, we must quickly head back to the lab and prepare for tomorrow night. PINKY: Why? What are we going to do *tomorrow* night? BRAIN: Inspect all of the new lab equipment we left Billie to unpack, and then... Try to take over the world! ...*without* any inane gratuitous Detroit police officers, Disney or Muppet characters, or spatial distortion gimmicks getting in the way... PINKY: Right! Let's go, then! *NARF*! [The mice exit, with the closing "they're dinky" end song playing...] [Cut back to the Warners & Company next to the giant hole in the ground the explosives left.] YAKKO: Well, Sibs, I think this entire thing is over with! NARRATOR: And that's how it ended. These are our character's fates: --Yakko, Wakko and Dot retired from the police force. They decided that the crime-fighting life wasn't for them. The three are now seeking new employment elsewhere. --Slappy Squirrel joined the police, becoming an explosives expert. She has yet to teach the Warners any new running gags. --Pinky and the Brain returned to their brand new ACME Labs, which they had rebuilt after the Circle's downfall. Billie managed to prove her trustworthiness to Brain by having the new lab equipment unpacked and set up just in time for tomorrow night's plan. Unfortunately, her cage was crushed under a crate, so she had to temporarily move in with the other two mice. --Axel Foley crash-landed back in Detroit. You'll see all his wacky exploits in "Beverly Hills Cop 4", or the next fanfic - whichever comes first. --Captain Caps died of a heart attack in his office. He is now buried at sea. --The remaining members of the bike gang were arrested. Now they're serving life sentences. --Snowball and M*ckey were launched into space. They landed in Dr. Evil's flying Bob's Big Boy, and now the 3 are plotting world domination. [Cut to the WB Studio cafeteria, where the Warners are eating lunch after doing more filming on "Wakko's Wish"] YAKKO: Well, guys, looks like this story's finally about to come to an end! WAKKO: Really? Faboo! DOT: Yeah, and just look at the headline's we've made! [Dot holds up a newspaper reading: "Warners End Rogue Rodents' Beanie Baby Ring", with a picture of the Warners grinning proudly and their "final showdown's" destruction results seen behind them] WAKKO: Uhh, didn't we forget a bunch of characters like the Muppets and Lydia Karaoke? YAKKO: Say, yeah! I wonder what the other characters are up to? [Cut to the Muppets, still waiting outside the D*sney W*rld park; sounds of crickets can be heard] GONZO: So, guys, think they're gonna come back here to meet up with us? [Other Muppets start throwing rubber chickens and other zany props at Gonzo] [Cut to Lydia, talking to Michael Eisner and his lawyers] LYDIA: I apologize once again for all of these massive trademark infringements, and hope it won't affect your company's airing of some of our films like "Cats Don't Dance" on the D*sney Channel... and I *guarantee* that our promotions for those Warners' film from now on will receive the same respect we give the promos for our other fine programming, [Chuckling to herself] [Cut to a promo for the video, airing after a promo promising "mass quantities of Heavy Duty Dubbas", which consists of an annoying announcer proclaiming that "this video has so much Wakko, you'll flip your stack-o!", and lots of heavily recycle footage from the A! TV show of Wakko eating and belching; only a half-second of the video's footage is shown. The "Dubba-Dubba-WB" theme song is playing throughout as well...] [Cut to Detroit, with Axel resting up at home] AXEL: Those lousy Warners! How dare they and that [bleep] squirrel blow me up sky-high! Well, I'll just have to send them something that they won't forget, no matter how hard they try, heh-heh-heh! [Holds up a copy of "Secret of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue", and a card reading "Congratulatory gift for the Warners on their new direct to video release"] [Cut to Slappy, back at her tree house] SLAPPY: Ahh, this story didn't turn out to be so bad after all! Explosives, diet walnut soda, *and* "Martial Law" ...finally, a pleasant, logical ending... [Turns on her TV, where she sees the Warners in the cafeteria harassing the staff and patrons with that "two places at once" bit] SLAPPY: AAAUUGH!!! All right, already! We get the joke! Roll the flippin' credits already! [We zoom out from Slappy's tree house; we hear her say: "Where'd I put that "Martial Law" tape?"] [Closing orchestra theme start to play, as we fade to the Warners] YAKKO: Gee, guys, any more last words before we *really* end this thing? WAKKO: Nope! DOT: Nope! YAKKO: Ok... well, *GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!!!* --- [Credits] Cast- Rob Paulsen - Yakko, The Gang, Pinky Tress MacNeille - Dot, Hello Nurse, Babs, Mary Hartless Jess Harnell - Wakko, Captain Caps Sherri Stoner - Slappy Squirrel Nora Dunn - Lydia Karaoke Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley Stone Cold Steve Austin - Gas Station Attendant Frank Oz, Steve Whitmire and David Goelz - The Muppets Roddy McDowall - Snowball The Real Life Dot - M*ckey M*use Maurice LaMarche - Brain Mike and the Bots - Themselves Muppets courtesy of The Jim Henson Company Axel Foley courtesy of Paramount Pictures M*ckey discourtesy of D*sney Transportation courtesy of LADOT Hooray North Hollywood reference courtesy of Real Life Dot
Watertower Closing-
Over the Amblin logo- [Cut to Batman and the Boo Wonder tied to the watch.] BATMAN: Well, old friend, this looks like the end. Good-bye. [It finally explodes. Batman is a little toasted, but otherwise fine. Boo Wonder is now a pile of fried chicken.] BATMAN: [Eats it. Talks like Adam West with a full mouth] Mm...mm. Boy, is this chicken good! CHORUS: Ev'rybody needs a little KFC! [Ending notes from music]
|
