| (QC to theater. The heroes returned to their seats and continued watching
the movie.) [Loud: I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S FOR EVIL OR NOT, BUT] Toast: Kiss your butt goodbye, dude! [SOMETHING'S GOING ON HERE AND WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHAT IT IS. Miss Info: But what if it is evil?] Charity: You know that's the first time Miss Info got something right. Loud: YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT THAT! [You yourself said that he wouldn't be showing this if he liked us, so maybe he] Pule: Is crazy! Toast: (singing) He is a maniac! Maniac! [is planning something bad for us! Charity: But how can we be sure? How can we find out what's really going on? Loud: WELL FOR ONE THING] Loud: ONE THING? HOW ABOUT A MILLION THINGS?! [WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHO] Toast: Let the dogs out! Pule: Who, who, who? Loud: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? All: Who, who, who, who, who? Charity: Okay, that is also pointless. [THIS GUY IS THAT'S DOING THIS. DOES ANYONE HERE REMEMBER] Toast: Who wrote the book of Love? Pule: The ending of the story? Charity: Who framed Roger Rabbit? Loud: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? [WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE?! Voice: (V.O and very familiar) I was right!] Pule: Shut up! Toast: And I really mean it! Charity: Consider it done! [(The cast turns to see] Pule: That Chit just blew up. Everyone: (laughs) [Nostradamus walking into the room.) Sammy: Nostradamus? What are you doing here, I thought I sent all of the historical characters home on vacation!] Pule: Yeah! [Nostradamus: That you did, Mr. Melman,] Charity: But that you lie. Now shut up! [but while I was packing all of my accessories and wardrobes and meat pastries] Charity: Meat pastries? Toast: (snickering) Oh, he is going to make himself a meat breakfast? Pule: Did he have his break today? [I noticed that guy on the television.] Loud: ISN'T WEARING ANY PANTS! [So I correctly predicated that you would need me] Loud: SINCE WHEN? Toast: Since the show began, dude. Charity: I can only imagined how many roles Nostradamus did. Pule: And that the bottom's line. [to figure out who he was and what he looked like and so on and so forth.] Toast: Where are we going? Pule: We are still here. Why did you ask? Toast: I was only mocking Nostradamus. Pule: Oh. [So here I am for you lucky peoples] Charity: Yeah right. Loud: HE WAS OFF WHEN THE SEPTEMBER 11 ATTACK HAPPENED! [to solve your little, um, what's that, your um, thing. Shut up!] Pule: But they didn't say anything! Charity: He is always like that, Pule. Loud: YEAH! [Toast: So why don't you tell us already dude,] Toast: Yeah! [who is he? Nostradamus: For that to be,] Charity: You have to pay me plus tax. [um, solved, you need to shut up and follow me to my (dramatic pause) predication lair. (A dramatic sound of lightning is heard.) Father Time: Where] Loud: IN THE WORLD IS CARMEN SANDIEGO? Pule: Who?? Toast: Dude, you should play the game sometimes. Pule: Huh? Charity: Forget it. [did that come from, it's not raining. (Everyone turns to see] Pule: That Pepper isn't wearing any clothes. (Toast angrily tackles Pule to the ground) Toast: Don't you ever say that way about Pepper again, you hear me?! Pule: Geez, I am sorry. (Toast got up and sat back in his seat. Pule does the same, except now he's feeling guilty. [Chit Chatterson's holding a tape recorder) Chit: Sorry, but] Pule: I didn't get to be in any more fan-fictions. Charity: Except maybe some. Loud: BUT THEN AGAIN WHO CARES? [that moment was so dramatic,] Toast: That I could just scream. [I just couldn't resist poofing] Charity: (disbelief) Poofing? Loud: MAKE-UP WORD ALERT! Toast: Totally. [it up with this sound effects maker.] Pule: How did Chit get his hands on that? Charity: Best not to ask. [(He pushes a play button] Loud: AND HE REALIZED HE STUPIDILLY ERASED IT! [and the lightning is heard.) Nostradamus: Well thanks for sharing that pointless moment with us.] Toast: Now prepare to die. [(Cut to Nostradamus's "predication lair" which is the same room} Pule: That Frankenstein was made in. [seen in the beginning of the Know It Alls episode. Nostradamus goes towards that large bowl with the green stuff] Charity: Why? He got Slimer in there? [in it (so sue me] Loud: OKAY! I WILL SEE YOU IN COURT! Toast: Wicked! [if I couldn't figure out it's name) Everyone surrounds the bowl] Charity: To eat in. [to watch.) Nostradamus: Ah yes,] Toast: Great. He thinks he is Lucky Bob now. Loud: YOU ARE INCORRECT SIR! [my powers of mentalation] Pule: If he got any. [are coming up with the face of that guy.] Charity: (as Nostradamus) And boy, he is an ugly one! Shut up! [Now with a simple snap of my fingers,] Pule: All the lights will turn off. [I shall transfer the image into the whatmacallit that you see in front of you.] Toast: It is a bowl with green stuff, you dope. Pule: Yeah! [(He snaps his fingers and a second later,] Pule: The room exploded. The End. [we now see inside the bowl a perfect image] Loud: NOT! [of the man's face) Loud: WELL, WHO IS THIS GUY?! Nostradamus: If you would please shut up,] Loud: I WAS ONLY ASKING YOU A QUESTION! WHAT A GRUMP! [I will tell you. Now with my powers] Charity: I will make this thing disappeared. Poof. Pule: (as David Copperfield) Magic, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you. [I will come up] Toast: With an excuse so I can get away. Shut Up! [with the name of this person.] Loud: SO NOSTRADAMUS MADE THIS GUY UP?! WHAT A JERK! Charity: Actually, I think he is revealing who Gene is, Loud. Loud: OH! [I will need total concentration] Pule: (as Nostradamus) And boy, it really make my head hurts! Shut Up! [so all of you shut up, especially you two! (He points to Loud and Pepper.] Loud: WELL YOU SHUT UP! Charity: I'm not happy. [He then begins to think really hard.)] Toast: And it stills hurts! Shut Up! [Nostradamus: Deep thought, still searching.] Pule: Great. Now Nostradamus thinks he is the Internet. [(Makes indescribable noises)] Pule: Ooh, eek, ooh, aah, aah. Toast: Bein, bang, a wha a wha a bein dang! Pule: Ooh, eek, ooh, aah... All: Bein, bang, a wha a wha a bein dang! Loud: WHAT A LAME SONG! Pule: So sue me, and not literally I hope. [Okay, what do you know, I've got it!] Charity: That is a first. [Now with a snap of my fingers our mystery man's] Pule: (as What My Line host) Please enter and sign in please. [name will be a mystery no more! (He snaps his fingers) Yes, his name is (We see a name come up)] Pule: Keanu Reeves? Toast: Jack Nicholson? Charity: Gene Hackman? [Dr. Gene Burrows!] Loud: NO! JUST GENE! BUT YOU GUYS ARE CLOSE! [Froggo: Well I don't know anyone named Gene Burrows, do any of you?] All: We do, we do! [(Everyone shakes their heads) Pepper: So that means we're still stuck and we still don't know] Toast: Whose Line Is It Anyway? Pule: Drew Carey? Toast: Actually, I preferred to the Clive Anderson one. Charity: Who? Toast: Never mind. [much of anything! Ahh ha ha, I hate this!] Loud: YOU WOULD! [Nostradamus: Hmph, this is some thanks I am getting after I cleared up part of this thing by telling you] Loud: THAT SAMMY'S CAR JUST EXPLODED! All: (laughs) [his name. W.O.W: Did you really come up with it, Mr. Nostradamus? Because something tells me] Charity: Mr. Smartypants is involved. [this says different. (She picks up a wire stuck at the very bottom of the bowl, which leads to a door nearby. She goes and opens it to reveal] Pule: Richard Nixon printing out illegal copies of his campaign. [Mr. Smarty-pants sitting near a computer) Nostradamus: No stop, pay no attention to the man living in his pants behind the door!] Charity: Great. Nostradamus now thinks he is the Wizard of Oz. Pule: He should stay in focus in the movie. Toast: Dude, if the Cowardly Lion shows up, I am outta here. Loud: SAME HERE! [(Pause) Okay, okay, I am admitting it,] Pule: (as Bill Clinton) I have that affair with Monica Lewinsky. But I am also wearing... (Charity angrily hits Pule again) Charity: (angrily) What did I just tell you?! Pule: Sorry! [I didn't really come up with those images in my head, I connected this fancy smancy] Loud: NOT ANOTHER MADE-UP WORD! Toast: Dude, someone should get this author a dictionary or something. Pule: Right on. [super computer thingie to transfer the images to the bowl and he came up with all the answers by searching on the thing, not me!] Loud: WELL, DOWNLOAD THIS, INTERNET BOY! [I also had a special hearing aid on] Loud: GREAT. NEXT THING YOU KNOW, HE IS GOING TO TELL US THAT THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS! Pule: What?! Charity: There, there, Pule. There is a Santa Claus. Pule: Geez, thanks. [so he could tell what the man's was! I needed help] Toast: Cad, like you needed it. [on my predications, especially after my predication that] Loud: JAR JAR BINKS WILL BE A COOL CHARACTER? Toast: There wouldn't be a sequel to Battlefield Earth? Charity: Kenny will live in the next episode? Pule: Pee-Wee is making a comeback? ["The Blair Witch Project" would be] Loud: TOTALLY STUPID! SHUT UP! [the most unprofitable movie of the year! Sammy: Please, don't remind me of that,] Charity: Too late. [it makes me _sick_] Pule: (as Jay Sherman) it stinks. [that I didn't take up that offer] Toast: Why didn't he? At least we wouldn't be bug by him anymore. Charity: Toast, you know very well Sammy is an important H! character. Toast: Chit never improved, either. Why should Sammy? Charity: Forget it. [to produce that movie! Father Time: This would normally be pointless,] Pule: Like the movie the sequel to Secret of NIMH. [but it's not since now we have something to help us.] Loud: NOT! [Mr. Smarty-pants,] Charity: We aren't hiring. [can you tell us] Toast: Who let the dogs out? Boys: Who? Who? Who? Charity: Enough! [any other information about this guy?] Loud: OH LET SEE. BESIDES THE FACT HE ALMOST RUINED MY LIFE, ALMOST KILLED THE GIRL I LOVE, AND NEARLY MADE ME LOSE MY SANELY, WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO KNOW?! Charity: Loud, relax. Loud: GENE, YOU MONSTER! IF YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, I WILL KILL YOU! Charity: Loud, relax! Gene is still dead. Loud: (embarrassed) Sorry, lost myself there. [Mr. Smarty-pants: Um, yes I can,] Toast: (as Mr. Smartypants) On second thought, forget it! [it turns out he was a scientist at an organization in Long Beach] Pule: A beach has a science lab? [and he has an I.Q. of 178.] Toast: Oh, he also has a psycho number of 2000. [Miss Info: That's all? Compared to your I.Q] Pule: He makes you look like Rick Moranis. [that's nothing! Smarty-pants: Thank you, but unfortunately] Loud: THE WORLD BLEW UP! Charity: What is it with you and your obsession with the world being blown up? Loud: AT LEAST IT IS BETTER THAN LISTENING TO GENE'S INSULTS! Toast: Yeah. Totally, dude. Pule: Bingo. [compared to everyone else he's very very smart.] Charity: (snickering) Oh? Mr. Smartypants thinks he is Nostradamus now? Loud: AT LEAST HIS PREDICTIONS IS BETTER THAN OLD N! Pule: N? Toast: Short for Nostradamus, dude. [Loud: THAT WOULD EXPLAIN HOW HE WAS ABLE TO] Loud: RUIN MY LIFE! [TAKE OVER THE TELEVISION! Sammy: What else does it say? Smarty-pants: Well, I've been looking over] Pule: This magazine of how to kill psycho scientists and other crap. [the World Wide Web and haven't been able] Charity: To get on since. [to find anything else of use. There's nothing here that tells us] Toast: What does he mean? He should have found out why he is doing it. Loud: WE DIDN'T FIND OUT THAT UNTIL LATER! Charity: I think I am agreeing with Loud now. I hate Gene also. Loud: WHAT A BABE! [any possible motive for why this is happening. Miss Info: So we're still in the dark here,] Pule: Probably because Nostradamus forgot to change the light bulb. [we know the guy, but we still don't know why this is happening. Loud: DO WE AT LEAST KNOW WHERE HE LIVES?!] Loud: NO. THE REAL QUESTION IS: DO WE EVEN CARE?! [Smarty-pants: Yes, Long Beach, California, 1313] Pule: Double 13? No wonder Gene lost. Toast: Huh? Why did you say that? Pule: Because he is living in a bad luck number! Charity: That's lame Pule. Loud: DITTO! [Dewback way. Why do you ask? Loud: BECAUSE] Loud: I WANT TO KICK HIS BUTT! Charity: You already did. Toast: Twice, dude. Loud: NO! I ONLY DEFEATED HIM ONCE! CHARITY DEFEATED HIM WHEN WE MET HIM THE SECOND TIME! Toast: Oh, yeah. [THE ONLY WAY WE'RE GOING TO FIND OUT EVERYTHING IS TO] Pule: Heel over and die. Everyone else: Pule! Pule: What?! [GO TO HIS HOUSE AND STOP HIM. Aka: He's right,] Loud: MY GOODNESS! AKA ACTUALLY AGREED WITH ME! Charity: That's a first. Pule: We got to tell her this. (QC to the other members of Histeria! in the break-home.) Aka: Too late, homeys. (QC back to theater) [it's our only option,] Toast: That, and what we are going to do later. [but Long Beach is 4-5 hours away from here. Sammy: That's why cars were invented,] Pule: Oh yeah. Thanks Henry Ford. Toast: Dude, he isn't Henry Ford. Charity: He is being sarcarious, Toast. Toast: Oh. [so lets go outside, rev] Loud: HUH?! Charity: Must be another made-up word. Pule: Why is this author thinking?! Toast: Probably nothing, dude. (QC to an annoyed Robert) Robert: Hey! That's the best I can do! (QC to theater) [up our cars and go! (Fade in a nearby driveway where] Loud: WE CAUGHT A THIEF TRYING TO BREAK INTO THE CARS! Charity: Loud, that never happened. Loud: I AM ONLY WISHFUL THINKING HERE. Pule: Huh? Toast: I don't know it either. [all the adults are trying to start their cars, but they are not starting) W.O.W: What gives] Pule: Santa Claus? [here, why aren't we on the road to Long Beach? (All the adults get out of their cars and they all open] Toast: I wouldn't. [their hoods.] Toast: Phew... [They gasp as all of the engines] Charity: Had gone on strike. [are damaged beyond repair) Charity: I'm not happy.] Loud: WELL, I AM! (He kisses Charity on the cheek. She blushes.) [This Burrows guy looks like he's stopped our only way to his house.] Toast: Wait. Shouldn't security have noticed him doing it? Pule: Ah, those security guards are so stupid these days. Remember Ralph the Guard? Charity: Oh yeah. He is still having problems with the Warner Brothers and Warner Sister. [Chit: Not quite, we can still order a Rent a Car!] Toast: (snickering) Since when did Chit have a good idea? Pule: Maybe...never. All: (laughs) [(He dials a cell phone) Voice: (From phone) We're sorry, the number you've dialed is not in service. Please don't try this number again, for it would annoy us to keep saying this statement all the time.] Charity: (Voice on phone) Uh, what? Oh yeah, Ted wants me to call you a dummy. Ha ha ha. [Father Time: I tried another Rent a Car place,] Loud: BUT NO ONE ANSWER? [and it just said the same thing.] Charity: Nope, but you were close, Loud. [Aka: Well let's try every other Rent a Car place,] Pule: Until we annoyed the heck out of them. [it can't be like all of them have dropped dead and out of business. Lucky Bob: Absolutely!] Pule: Geez, doesn't Lucky Bob have anything smart to say? Toast: Dude, I doubt it. Loud/Charity: Ditto. [(Back at the meeting room,] Charity: Didn't we already did this scene? [Sammy looks angrily at a phone book)] Pule: (as Sammy) Stupid! Stupid phonebook! [Sammy: We've called every Rent a Car in this city,] Loud: AND EACH ONE THREATENED A LAW SUIT! [and they all won't answer! Pepper: Well I don't see how Mr. Burrows] Loud: (as Dr. Evil) THAT DOCTOR BURROWS TO YOU! I DIDN'T GO TO EVIL MEDICINE SCHOOL TO BE CALL *MISTER*, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! [could have just put them all out of business. W.O.W: You're right,] Toast: My goodness! Pep actually made a right statement! Loud: IT'S A MIRACLE! [I think he may have tampered] Charity: With our cars. Pule: We already known that. Charity: Great. I think some of Toast's dumbness is rubbing off me. Toast: Hey! [all our phones to say that. Miss Info: How can you tell? W.O.W: Well, he gave us some hints.] Pule: Great. Now Gene is playing with video games. [(She picks up a magnifying glass and in small print on the bottom right it says] Toast: Chit is a loser. Beat him, beat him. (QC to Chit Chatterson annoyed) Chit: Hey! I maybe a loser, but at least I am also an important member of the cast! (An anvil then fell out of nowhere and squashes him.) Chit: Ow. (QC to theater) ["This phone and all your phones have been tampered,] Loud: WELL, DUH! [so don't think of calling for any help.") Loud: OH NO,] Loud: MR. BILL PRESENTS! Charity: Didn't we already did that joke? Loud: I THINK ONE OF YOU GUYS DID! WELL, I DIDN'T! [THIS GUY'S THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING!] Pule: But the Kitchen sink. [WHAT WILL WE DO?! Miss Info: We'd better think of something,] Toast: Baywatch is going to be on. [I'm getting a bit worried of the prospect that someone's planning my doom. And plus] Pule: This fan-fic stunk! [the Rent a Car places we called are nowhere near here, so we can't walk there. Loud: As much as I hate to say it,] Loud: AND I STILL DO! [there may be only one thing to do.] Pule: Go home and hide under the bed. Charity: No way we are taking the coward's way out, Pule. Pule: I would. Loud: YEAH, YOU DEFINITELY WOULD. [We're going to have to walk all the way to his house, it's the only option we have.] Charity: That or call the Justice League. [Father Time: True, but from our calculations, from here it will take more than] Toast: Three licks to eat a Tootsie Pop. [half a day to walk there, about 18 hours, barely enough to get there before the marathon ends. Sammy: That's right and there's no way] Pule: I am going to be in this story any longer! [I'm spending 18 hours walking! Loud: Then I'll go myself. I'm one of the ones he's after,] Loud: NO KIDDING! [so it's fitting that I try to stop him. Miss Info: In that case,] Toast: Dude, we aren't on trial here! [I'm going too. It's more fitting this way,] Pule: What? They are trying out clothes now? [he wants us both,] Charity: Dead. [so we'll both try to stop him. Loud: That's almost what I just said. Chit: So it's settled, you'll both go? Thank goodness,] Pule: And his son Santa Claus. (Everyone else stares at Pule) Pule: What? I don't want to say the lord's name in vain. Loud: HE HAS A POINT! [I thought for a minute we'd all, especially me,] Toast: You know, we wish he's the one Gene wants to kill instead of just Loud and Miss Info. He's very annoying. Charity: True, but it was Loud's yelling that droved Gene off the edge. Loud: HEY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO! Charity: I am not blaming you, dear. Loud: PHEW! [have to walk all that way, and that doesn't suit me very well.] Toast: Dude, WWII wouldn't suit him either. [Loud: Me neither, but there's no other way.] Loud: BUT THE HIGHWAY! [Smarty-pants: Well in that case we're going to have to find some things for you two to survive this journey. Come on, we'll head] Pule: To Taco Bell. [to our special devices room to find something, away from the TV and whatever this Gene guy is planning.] Charity: Good suggestion, Mr. Smartypants. [(They all head out. Cut now to someplace else in the world.] Pule: Where the Detroit Tigers game is still going on. [A caption reads] Loud: DON'T GO ON OR YOU WILL LOSE YOUR MIND! OOPS! TOO LATE! ["Montgomery, Alabama" indicating that's where we are. We see a friendly looking man] Charity: Friendly? Oh! He must mean Harry. Loud: GLAD HE IS ON OUR SIDE! THOUGH IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE, THAT'S NOT THE CASE! Pule: What is he talking about? Charity: In another universe, Harry was responsible for the 24 hour marathon. Me and the others were evil in that universe too. Pule: Was I involved? Toast: Nope. Sorry, little dude. Pule: You guys are meanie even in that universe! Charity: There, there. (Patted Pule on the back) I'm sure we will be kind to you in the future. Loud: PROVIDING WE DON'T LOSE OUR MINDS IN THE PROGRESS! [walking towards a car. He then sees a crowd surrounding] Charity: McDonalds? Pule: Burger King? Toast: Wendy's, dude? Loud: GODFATHER'S PIZZA? [a TV store and goes over.) Man: Hey, what are you all watching? (He sees it's Histeria) Hmmm, well I don't blame you] Charity: For not liking a show. Loud: WHAT A BUNCH OF NUTS! Toast: Ditto. [for watching this show, it's very funny. But I didn't think it was on at this time.] Toast: Uh, six o'clock? Charity: Now, don't you start! [Man 2: It's not, this thing been on every channel] Loud: EXCEPT MTV! [for the past 2 hours. All we've seen is a kid yelling and a tourist guide saying stupid things and it's driving us crazy!] Loud: TOO LATE! Charity: You know, that last part sounds like a song from Britney Spears. Toast: Dude, now he's copying songs. [(The man's eyes go wide open and he runs into his car to think) Man: They're talking about Loud and Miss Info! And they say] Pule: That Barney is going to be canceled, I hope, I hope. [it's been on every channel for 2 hours? Something's up.] Loud: WELL, DUH! WHY ELSE DID THE WRIGHT BROTHERS MADE THE AIRPLANE? (QC to Orville and Wilbur Wright.) Orville: Hey! You keep us both out of this! Wilbur: Yeah, it's bad enough you harass us when we still have our bicycle shop. But you have to go and embarrass us with that joke! (WOW appears.) WOW: Well, we still think you are insane! (QC to theater) [(He turns on a radio) Woman: (On radio) Of course, the top story is still] Toast: Clinton is on trial again. (QC to former president Bill Clinton) Bill Clinton: Now you keep me out of this! (QC to theater) [the apparent 24 hour marathon showing Loud Kiddington and Miss Information on Histeria on every TV in the world.] Pule: Except Afghanistan. Charity: I already did that joke. [Early reports show that many people are very angry] Toast: With FOX for leaving the Digi-Destined out of Season #3. [and exasperated over it, particularly since the one in charge of it has been] Pule: Messing with people's minds. [turning the volume up repeatedly and that everyone is still] Loud: ANNOYED OVER THE CANCELATION OF MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000! (QC to Mike Nelson, Crow T. Robot, and Tom Servo in their apartment home) Tom: Same here, brother. Crow: Yeah! Mike: Will you guys quiet down? I am trying to watch this. (Mike then accidentally dropped the remote and it fell into the couch.) Crow/Tom: Good one, Mike! (QC to theater.) [locked in their homes with no way out. (Another sound of Loud yelling) AAHHH! I don't know how much] Pule: Is that doggy in the window. Charity: Woof, woof. [we all can take, these two have been quite annoying, especially the loud kid at high volume!] Loud: SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU *****! Charity: Calm down! Loud: THIS REALLY MADE ME HATE GENE EVEN MORE! [Man: Oh my goodness,] Pule: They killed Kenny. Loud: YOU B*******! (QC to a frowning Lydia) Lydia: We are going to get letters. (QC to theater) [there's only one person who could be showing and doing all of this. Gene! Oh my, I should have seen this coming,] Toast: (as Harry) But then, I am not Nostradamus, am I? [I should have known he'd do something like this, as his best friend] Loud: HA! [I should have detected something! I've got to get back to Long Beach,] Pule: (as Harry) but first, I will got home and get my swim shorts. [which is sadly about 20 hours away, not counting numerous gag stoppages,] Charity: Unless something tries to choke him. [and do something! (He drives off quickly] Pule: And immediately got pulled over by a cop. The End. [Cut back to the meeting room, as Loud and Miss Info are being handed backpacks. It's now 7:30)] Loud: AND ALL IS WELL! [Sammy: I would suggest you hang on to these, they contain the vital things you'll need to survive such a long walk.] Toast: (as Sammy) And plus they belong to Kellner. [Miss Info: We already know that, thanks for reiterating for us.] Charity: (as a police cop) Calling all cars! Calling all cars! Be on the lookout for make-up words! Over. [Sammy: You're welcome.] Pule: Since when is Sammy is polite? [Father Time: Are you sure you want to do this, who knows what could happen between the people outside who've] Toast: Gotten drunk and is driving. [already been exposed] Charity: I wouldn't. [to the marathon] Charity: Phew. [and goodness knows what Gene Burrows may have in store for you.] Loud: (snickering) OH? GENE RUNS A STORE NOW? [Loud: THANKS FOR TELLING US THE SCARY PART OF THIS, BUT] Loud: IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT! [BUT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO STOP HIM. Father Time: In that case there's no more] Pule: Peanut Butter left. [need to continue talking, so you should go. W.O.W: I guess the only thing left to say is] Pule: Can I have your DVD player if you died? Toast: Dude, I doubt Miss Info can afford one. Pule: That is only a suggestion. [good luck, and we do hope you'll come back alive.] Charity: Especially Loud. (Loud smiles and kisses her again. She blushes again.) Loud: NOW I AM GLAD TO HAVE YOU FOR A GIRLFRIEND. Charity: Thanks. [Miss Info: Thanks, we'll remember that, but excluding the do come back alive part, that's a bit creepy.] Charity: No. What's more creepy is Nikola Tesla. Toast: Who will show up later in this movie. [(They walk out of the meeting room, and now cut to them leaving the building on their way. As they walk away, we hear a beeping noise.] Toast: Uh, does Miss Info own a cell phone? Loud: NO. THAT'S THE TRACKING DEVICE GENE PUT IN THE BACKPACKS. [Cut now to the man now known as] Pule: Mr. Scrooge. [Gene Burrows listening to the same noise on his control console.) Gene: Ah, my tracker worked well,] Loud: I WAS RIGHT AGAIN! Charity: You must be psychic. Pule: I bet Nostradamus will have a word with you. Loud: HE WILL HAVE TO CATCH ME! [I was right, they are headed on their way. Well, I think] Toast: (as Rene Descartes) Therefore I am! [I'll be a good samaritan] All: (laughs) [and give them a call and some "help" as well. (Cut to Loud and Miss Info walking down a deserted street.] Pule: Singing do a day dee dum daily do. [There appears to be no one in sight.) Miss Info: Boy, this is not what I thought would happen, I thought there'd be lots and lots of people walking,] Loud: THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR THINKING! [there usually are. I guess we can chalk] Loud: CHALK?! WHAT THE...?! Charity: Frankly, this author needs to choose the right words as well. Pule: So does Miss Info. Loud/Charity/Toast: Shut up, Pule! [this up as another incorrect statement from me. (Loud begins to speak, but then a clickin sound is heard on the sidewalk] Loud: HEY! HOW DARE SOMEONE INTERRUPT ME! [Then all of a sudden a pedestal rises up from it. There is a cell phone on it, and a second later it begins to ring.] Pule: Oh? I supposed Gene has control of the sidewalk as well. Charity: You don't know what to get from that guy. Loud: SAME HERE! [Miss Info picks it up)] Charity: And put it down. [Miss Info: Hello? (We now see Gene on the other line) Gene: Hello, Miss Information,] Toast: (as Scream guy) Do you like Scary Movies? [at last we meet, for better or worse that may be.] Charity: Great. Gene is trying to propose to her? Loud: NAH! GENE WOULDN'T BE THAT SICK! [Miss Info: Um, what you said. Gene: Do you even know who this is?! Miss Info: Um, let me think,] Charity: (as Miss Info) is it Norm MacDonald? [I'll get it. Gene: (Sly) Go right ahead, I look forward to] Toast: Killing you. [hearing your guesses, however wrong they may be. (Miss Info begins to thinks, but then Loud takes the phone away)} All (but Loud): Hey! Loud: WELL, AT LEAST I KNOW WHOM IT IS! [Loud: (To Miss Info) Don't answer him, I don't mean to offend, but you'll probably say] Pule: Norm MacDonald. [another incorrect statement, and the person on the other end] Toast: Will be there giggling like an idiot. [certainly wants to hear that, we can't have that. (Speaking on the phone) SHE MAY NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT I CERTAINLY DO!! Gene: Well, well, if it isn't Loud Kiddington,] Charity: If it isn't, you're in the wrong movie. [I'd recognize that shrill voice anywhere. Loud: RETURNING TO THE POINT OF MY STATEMENT,] Loud: BITE ME! [I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! YOU'RE GENE BURROWS! Gene: Well what do you know,] Pule: Batman and Robin is a very bad movie? Charity: John Agar is a very lousy actor? Toast: The sequel to Secret of NIMH is terrible? Loud: I WISH YOU WERE DEAD? [you got it right, give yourself a prize!] Pule: Now Gene thinks he is a carnie barker. [Miss Info: (To Gene on the phone) So you're the guy] Charity: Who will bring balance to the Force. [who's in charge of this marathon. Gene: Correct, and you should thank Loud for that,] Loud: YOUR WELCOME! [because you certainly would not have gotten that answer by yourself. Loud: AS LONG AS YOU'RE ON THE PHONE,] Loud: I LIKE TO ORDER A PIZZA! [I'D LIKE TO ASK SOME QUESTIONS. FIRST] Toast: Do you know where the bathroom is? [AND FOREMOST, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?! Gene: Because I hate you,] Pule: Whoop-dee-duh. [but that's not the main reason, it just heavily contributed to it. I hate your yelling all the time Loud, especially since that's what you're doing 99% of the time,] Loud: NOT TRUE! I DO IT 200% OF THE TIME! [and you're quite obnoxious because of that.] Loud: DROP DEAD, GENE! Charity: Ditto. Toast: Totally. Pule: Yeah. [And I hate Miss Information's stupidity, her remarks are so idiotic] Charity: I go to school more. [it makes me very angry. Miss Info: And for that you're running a marathon?] Pule: When does running had to do with this? Charity: I mean she means a different kind of marathon, Pule. Pule: Oh. [Why? Gene: Because I want the whole world to realize how horrible] Toast: John Agar is. [you are and make you pay for it.] Loud: OKAY! YOU WANT CASH OR CREDIT? [But that's not the main reason either.] Toast: Geez! Make up your mind, willya?! [You took away something that meant the world to me,] Pule: (as Gene) And I want it back, dang it! [and for that you're going to suffer. Miss Info: Through taking over every TV in the world? Gene: Yes, I know it may be an evil thing,] Toast: But I am an evil psycho! Ha, ha, ha! [but if it will make everyone know what I know, I'm willing to do anything. Loud: But what will this accomplish, what do you want?! Gene: What do I want? Oh, what I want is very simple.] Pule: For you to shut up. Loud: (angry) DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE, PULE! Pule: Oh yeah?! Well, get bent! (Loud angrily got out of his seat and knock Pule of his. They fight until Toast and Charity grab both of them.) Toast: Dude, calm down. (Loud and Pule look angry at each other. They shook it off and return to watching the movie with Charity and Toast.) [I want you to pay the price for] Charity: That vase you just broke. [being so annoying and one dimensional. I want you to suffer a crime equal to the crime you committed to me.] Pule: Loud took over TV as well? Loud: NO! HE MEANS A DIFFERENT CRIME! Pule: Oh. [I want to share my knowledge of what I've learned with the entire world, and help me and everyone else do something about it. And I want you to feel] (Pule was about to say something but Charity angrily hits him again.) Charity: (angrily) Stop that! [the wrath of] Toast: Khan, dude. [an angry world which will not be as forgiving as I am] Charity: (snickering) Since when is Gene ever so forgiving? [after they've experienced the horror you've brought them.] Loud: OH COME ON! THEIR GIFTS AREN'T THAT BAD! [Miss Info: But we didn't take control of TV, you did, so they'll blame you for airing this! Gene: You'd really like to think so wouldn't you?] Pule: Well, you thought wrong! Ha Ha Ha Ha! [Well, not surprisingly, you think wrong.] Toast: Whoa, Pule! Your guess was right also! Charity: Think of joining Loud in Nostradamus's group? Loud: NOT FUNNY! [(While Gene is talking, we see various people] Charity: Doing that new dance from N'Sync. [around the world either trying to get out of their houses, try to do something else other than watch the marathon to no success, or] Pule: Trying to commit suicide. [are getting angry, scared, and very annoyed] Toast: Not to mention confused, dude. [at what's being shown) Gene: Right now,] Charity: Great. Now Gene is trying to steal other people's music. Loud: SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE SUE HIM! [even as I speak, the people of this fair world] Pule: There is a fair today?! Toast: Awesome! I want to ride the new roller coaster! Charity: If that guy makes the merry-go-round go too fast again, I will give him the punishment I gave Gene. Loud: I HATE GENE! I HATE GENE! I HATE GENE! [are being exposed] All: Gross! [to the horror of a very loud kid and a dimwitted tour guide.] Pule: Oh, and including the bunch of aliens in my head. [They could only stand it for a half hour tops, but being exposed to it for 24 hours would drive them insane, and some people have already gone nuts.] Charity: Like Jerry Lewis. [It's your yelling and your dimwittedness that is driving them crazy] Loud: (singing) THEY DRIVE ME CRAZY! Charity: (singing) Feel all right! [and causing to have no chance of doing anything else but be annoyed. All I've done is] Pule: Dud. [show them this,] Toast: Dude, what is up with him?! He is sick! Charity: When did you figured that out? Loud: WHAT A NUT! [and with all due respect,] Toast: Shut up. [I'm not the one yelling or saying stupid things] Loud: HE IS DOING IT RIGHT NOW! All: (laughs) [to drive the public to such depths of craziness, now am I? And when this is over, everyone will know] Pule: (as Gene) that I am Gene Hackman in an evil role. [that. Loud: YOU'RE INSANE!! Gene: I'm not insane or evil,] Toast: (singing) I'm a maniac, maniac! [I'm just someone trying to make the world a better place,] Charity: That is what wrestling is for. [and besides people with I.Q's of 178 are generally not insane. But problem is,] Loud: I AM NOT WEARING ANY PANTS! [I don't want you to suffer quite yet. If you take a route through the city to my place,] Pule: You will take the wrong turn at San Francisco. [you'll encounter many people wanting to get you for] Loud: TAX ISSUES! [what you've done, particularly as you get closer to my place. I would like to save this part for later,] Loud: THEN WHY DON'T YOU?! [so I'll give you a helping hand.] Loud/Toast: Not! [Look at the pedestal. (They look and see a] Charity: 1-800-Collect sign. [map on top of the pedestal) Gene: That map contains an alternate route for you two to go. Nearby here, there is a very desolate route with no buildings, people, plants or anything,] Pule: Not even a Toy 'R' Us for miles! [and it leads right to] Pule: (as Gene) your doom! Ha Ha Ha! (Charity angrily punches Pule) Pule: What?! I am only mocking Gene! Charity: Oh. Sorry. [to my house. In my opinion,] Toast: Scary Movie is a very funny movie, dude. [it would be safer to take] Loud: YEAH RIGHT! TRY EXPLAINING THE TRAPS, GENE! Pule: Loud! Don't spoil it for me! Charity: Do you even want to see it? Pule: No, but I have no choice. Toast: Ditto. [than going through the city, so I suggest you take the map and follow it. Miss Info: I had no idea there was such a route here, I thought this whole city was one big, well, city! Gene: Not to my surprise,] Toast: (as Gene) you fine foxy lady. And if Pep is listening, I was only mocking Gene. [there are lots of things you don't know. Loud: STOP INSULTING HER AND HER INTELLIGENCE! Gene: What intelligence,] Pule: I don't see any intelligence. [she has none of that to insult! Loud: (Growling) HOW DO WE KNOW THIS ROUTE OF YOURS ISN'T A TRAP?! Gene: That's for me to know and you to find out, but consider.] All: No! [What would be more dangerous,] Charity: You. [facing traps that compared to facing people exposed to the marathon are easy to get out of, or facing people who are very exasperated and angry at you for what you've done to their sanity and who will do anything to get you?] (Loud looks like he is going to explode. Charity looks worried.] Charity: Uh oh. [It's your choice,] Toast: Take it or leave it. [and I'm even going to hang up] Pule: He is doing the laundry? [so I won't hear it to give you an advantage, but if I were you,] Charity: Which you aren't. [I'd take my route, it's safer. But then again, I'm glad I'm not you, with a voice that can destroy glass and an I.Q. that's nearly equal to that insane lab mouse Pinky!] Pule: Narf! (Loud couldn't take it anymore.] Loud: THAT DOES IT! DIE GENE! (He angrily jumps up and tries to jump at the screen. Charity grabs him.] Charity: No, Loud! Don't! Loud: LET ME GO! LET ME AT HIM! Charity: Loud, calm down! (Loud finally did. He is starting to cry.) Charity: There, there. Do you want to sit on my lap? Loud: (sniffing) Okay. (He sat down on Charity's lap. He is still crying. Charity is stroking his hair, trying to calm him down. Pule and Toast look on.) Toast: Uh, I think me and Pule can handle this without you two. Charity: Okay. (To Loud) Do you want to leave? Loud: (sniffing) Okay. (He and Charity got up and left the theater. Toast and Pule returned to watching the movie.) [Miss Info: Don't you have anything better to do than insult our faults?!] Toast: (as Gene) Ha! I never have anything to do better! [Gene: You're right, I have a marathon to direct.] Pule: He is directing? I thought he is only showing it! Toast: Ah, Gene is saying that to annoy Loud and Miss Info. [So long for now, but prepare to hear] Pule: Oprah Winfrey singing! [quite a bit from me later. And you can keep the phone. (He hangs up) Loud: Oh, I hate to say this,] Pule: Loud hate to say this? Toast: Dude, Loud always say this. Pule: This is embarrassing for him! Toast: Bingo. [but he's right, it would be a bet safer than encountering those people if] Pule: Jerry Garcia is in town. [they're that angry. Miss Info: Well, in that case, considering our options, I guess we should go that way.] Toast: No, that way! You dumb dope. [According to this map, we're going to have to walk straight,] Pule: You mean they...? Toast: No, Pule! She meant another straight! Pule: Oh. [then through two alleys until we get to] Pule: Grandma's house. [the area, so let's not waste time] Pule: Or he will try to kick our butts again. [and let's instead go! Loud: I guess we really don't have a choice, so let's go indeed. By the way, are you all right? I mean after all those insults the not so good Doctor threw at you.] Toast: Dude, Gene's throwing must be weak! [Miss Info: You know, I'm beginning to get used to them, so I've tried not to let it get to me, though it's hard since] Pule: It involved a very bad word. [some of it is right. But thanks for your concern. Loud: You're welcome, I think.] Toast: Dude, if this author is turning this to a Loud/Miss Info... Pule: Relax he is only being nice. Besides, I think Charity will be mad if the author tries that. [(They walk away from the pedestal with map and phone in hand. Fade back to the man driving his car) Man: Drat, after double checking] Toast: My engine, dude. [my calculations in my mind, my prediction is right,] Pule: Shut up! [it really will take me 20 hours to drive through large states to get to Gene's house. Wait a minute, I've already driven] Pule: Through Mexico. D'oh! [1 1/2 hour, so it'll take me 18 1/2 hours now. Drat again, that's still not good! Okay, worry time, what to do, what to do?!] Toast: Play Battle Ship? Pule: Crash? [There must be something, think Harry, think!] Pule: Oh that is Harry. [Thinking, thinking...] Toast: Oh look. It's Harry the Pooh. Pule: With his friends Tigger and Piglet! [yes! I can help them by contacting the Histeria cast at the WB office! This will also give me a chance to try out this new invention. (He picks up a strange looking cup] Pule: I thought those are already invented. Toast: Harry is trying something new. [and hooks it to the wheel. Now the car is driving all by itself without Harry. He sets a few dials,] Toast: Dude, cup has dials? [and then finds a phone book in the back of the car) Harry: Let's see, WB office, WB office....] Pule: Executioner's. [ah ha, victory!] Pule: Oh this movie's over? Toast: Not even close. Pule: Darn. [(Cut to the WB office where we see a secretary sitting at a desk. The phone rings and she picks it up.) Secretary: Hello, WB office.] Toast: I'm sorry. Mr. Dork isn't in. [Harry: Yeah hello, this is] Pule: Norm MacDonald. Toast/Pule: (laughs) Toast: Dude, we loved to tease Norm MacDonald. Pule: I am telling you; we are the Tom Servo and the Crow T. Robot of the group. Toast: Yeah and I know who is the Tom Servo. Pule: Yeah...hey! [Dr. Harry Norman, put me through to Mr. Sammy Melman please. Secretary: Do you have an] Toast: Lawsuit with him? Pule: Date with him? Like that will happened. [appointment to call him?] Toast: What do you want me to call him? Pule: You know, Loud and Charity hasn't come back yet. Toast: Your right. Let see how they are doing. (Toast and Pule got out of their seats and left the theater.) (Commercial) On
to Part 3 |
