| (QC to theater. Everyone is in their seats. They resumed watching the
movie) [Loud: (Low)] Pule: How low can you go? [Are you trying to intimidate us and make us believe] Charity: Hugh Grant is getting a show? [that what you say is true? WELL IF YOU ARE IT WON'T WORK! WE'RE BETTER THAN YOU THINK WE ARE,] Toast: And the list goes on. [AND WE CAN DEFEAT YOU AND RISE AGAINST YOUR SLANDEROUS REMARKS BECAUSE WE'RE BETTER PEOPLE THAN YOU!! (Miss Info smiles) Gene: Sigh. Loud you may not realize it, but] Loud: (as Gene) I AM GENE HACKMAN! [this is a serious hostage situation, not a comedy club.] Toast: And Carrot Top isn't going to show up! [So don't try to make me laugh with that better person hogwash.] Charity: Washing hogs? [Whoops, too late. (He chuckles) Miss Info: (Very angry) You psychotic monster!! (She try to grab him] Loud: BY THE NECK! [through the bars, but can't) Gene: Ooh,] Pule: He is the audience now? [the dunce is mad at me, I'm so scared!] Loud: HE IS GOING TO BE! [Give it up two, you've lost. Time and luck are luxuries,] Toast: Items in Survivor. [and in your case, they're luxuries which you have just been evicted from.] Charity: Your apartment. [In another hour] Pule: This movie would end? [a vengeful mob will prove that fact by] Toast: Raiding the Asian stores! No, wait... [killing you both. Now, if you'll excuse me,] Charity: Why? Did you burp? [I have a date] Toast: Dude, I thought he wants Loud and Miss Info dead. Now he is going on a date with someone? Loud: WHAT CAN I SAY? HE IS A NUT! [with the entire world and you have a date with] Loud: Charity. And Miss Info probably had one with Mr. Smartypants. [said angry mob.] Pule: What did the angry mob said? [Don't get used to being alone,] Pule: Why? They aren't even alone! [you won't be for long. (He walks back into the house laughing)] Loud: (as house) HA HA HA! STUNK FOR YOU TWO! [(Cut to the now original Histeria meeting room. The cast look] Toast: Are gross! Ew! [gloomy as they watch the marathon still on TV) Charity: I'm not happy.] Charity: Your not kidding. [Father Time: None of us are, especially that we still don't know] Loud: WHO IS GOING TO BE ON SURVIVOR 4! [what that...villain has planned after this. (Fade to Harry talking on the phone in his car) Harry: It's bleak, I know,] All: (singing) the mutton man, the mutton man, the mutton man. Did you know the mutton man who lives in...uh, some lane! [but I'm almost at Gene's house, when I get there] Loud: (as Harry) I AM GOING TO KICKED HIS BUTT! [I'll bring down his operation,] Charity: Surgery? [whatever it is.] Toast: Operation: To do something important. [Sammy: I hope so, you may be our last hope,] Pule: Obi-Wan Kenobi. [and (he is cut off] Toast: Someone used some scissors? [as we hear more yelling through the phone. Harry sadly hangs up. Cut now to a cringing George and Martha) George: The only thing keeping me sane is] Loud: NO BATTLEFIELD EARTH SEQUEL! [that this will be all over in a few seconds. Timmy: Well, there's one good thing about this.] Charity: Not really. [Julia: Yeah, we couldn't go to school today, yay!] Loud: SCHOOL'S OUT! SNOW DAY! YAY! [This is certainly better than] Toast: Ben Stein's head. [faking colds to not go. Martha: 10 seconds until 4:00, let's count it down! 9, 8] Toast: One. [(joined by George) 7, 6] Toast: (annoyed now) One. [Sally/Jim: 5,4.] Toast: (really annoyed now) ONE! [Histeria cast: 3, 2.] Pule: (singing) Flying! [Harry: 1. George/Martha: 0!] All: Happy New Year! [(The TV goes to static and George and Martha cheer.] Pule: (as George) Yay! Maybe they can go bug other people! [They are about to leave, but then the static begins to clear up and we now see Gene, only more neatly dressed)] Charity: He isn't that neat. [Gene: Good afternoon once again world. Before you begin] Pule: Make sure you brought some boxer shorts. [to recover from] Charity: The common cold. [the last 24 hours, I have something to tell you] Toast: (as Gene) There. I said it. [that you'll need to hear. My name is Dr. Gene Burrows,] Loud: WE ALREADY KNOW THAT! [and as you may have determined, I was the one in charge of] Pule: Bay of Pigs. [the whole thing and was responsible for the volume and locking you inside and everything. (George andMartha get a bit angry hearing this) Gene: Now before you get into] Pule: The hot tub. [a hissy fit about it, I must tell you that] Toast: (as Gene) I am Gene Hackman in a dangerous role. [this was done for a good reason.] Charity: Yeah right. [It was done to make you realize] Loud: JOHN AGAR IS STUPID! [that something must be done.] Loud: KILL THE PIG! DRINK HIS BLOOD! OH WAIT, DIFFERENT STORY. Pule: Phew... [For the people in California and Long Beach,] Toast: Stop making sequels to Land Before Time. [you must hear this since what I ask from you you can do faster since you're closer to] Charity: Death. [my place, but even though the rest of the world can't,] Toast: Oh sure. What does Russia going to do? Shoot their missiles at us? [you still must hear this. In other words,] Loud: SHUT UP! [you people aren't going anywhere until you all hear the truth. (We now cut to Harry who's listening to] Charity: Brooks and Dunn. [this on the radio) Gene: Now then, it's time for the rest of you to hear and obey.] Pule: Since when does Gene into hypnotism? [Those two characters you just saw,] Loud: WILL AND GRACE. [Loud Kiddington and Miss Information, they've just tormented you for an entire day.] Loud: NOT REALLY! WE ARE JUST TRYING TO STOP GENE FROM DOING WHATEVER HE IS TRYING TO DO! [I don't think] Toast: Burt Reynolds is good anymore. [you should just stand by and forget about that.] Pule: Huh? Toast: What is going on? Charity: I don't know. [I did all this for a purpose,] Pule: To pursuit my dream of being an annoying car-salesman. [and the purpose was to make you come to] Loud: FUN LAND! [the conclusion that they should be punished for this.] Pule: Yeah! Kill the Taliban! Charity: Pule; they are talking about Loud and Miss Info. Pule: Oh yeah. Sorry. [In other words,] Toast: Lick me. [the reason I did this is because I] Loud: AM A PSYCHO! [want you to kill them! Harry: Oh my,] Charity: Snakes, spiders, and Gene. All: Oh my! [a bit anticlimactical, but expected. (Pause) I'm here.] Toast: The Joe Don Baker Hall of Fame. [(Harry drives up a few feet away from Gene's house, hidden from view. We hear Gene talking as Harry comes out of the car, takes out binoculars,] Pule: And the spiders too. [and sees Loud and Miss Info in the cell) Gene: Now I understand] Charity: That dinosaurs been extinct for millions of years. [that killing them is a bit extreme and you may not want] Charity: The gift I got you for Christmas. [to do it. But I want you to consider this. Is it worth] Pule: $1,000 bucks. [living in a world where] Loud: SADDAM HUSSEIN IS STILL ALIVE? [annoying characters like that exist? Is it worth living in a world where] Toast: Sanely is replaced by insanely. [these two can get away for what they did to you unpunished?] Loud: I THINK GENE FINALLY LOST IT! Charity: Why? Loud: HE THINKS WE ARE ON TV, WHILE WE ARE STILL LOCKED IN THE CELL! Charity: Oh Loud, don't be silly. [I wasn't the one driving] Toast: A truck. [you to insanity, I just aired their horrificness to you all, I didn't scream at high volume] Loud: YOU ARE NOW! [and say stupid things!] Pule: He is now. [Besides,] Charity: I want to end this movie. [they ruined my life and took away the only thing important to me.] Toast: Dude, a job isn't important! Loud: YEAH! IF HE THINKS THAT, I BELIEVED HE IS MORE INSANE THAN EVER! [Do you want to be in a world where they could ruin a person's life and nothing is to be done about it?! I don't think so!] Pule: He never thinks at all. [Sally: (Watching the TV) Hey, he's right, why should] Charity: Al Gore becomes president. [we have people like that in the world?] Toast: Shouldn't they kill Richard Simmons? [Jim: He wants us to kill them? I'm almost ready] Loud: FOR THE WAR! [to do what he says. Gene: People like Loud and Miss Info are poison to our otherwise fair planet!] Toast: Good thing we did saved them. Pule: Why? Toast: Well, if Loud and Miss Info are dead, he might get the mob to go after us next! Charity: Tell me about it. [And the only cure is to rid the world of them. I want everyone who lives near 1313 Dewback Way in Long Beach and anyone else nearby to come] Loud: ON DOWN! YOU ARE THE NEXT CONTESTANT ON "THE PRICE IS RIGHT!' [down there, where I have these two captive, and] Pule: Evolve. [eradicate them! I'd do it myself, but] Charity: I rather have people do my dirty work. [it will be for the better if] Toast: Keanu Reeves will be in the next Matrix movie. [you all come down to get them, a cruel punishment that fits the cruel crime!] Pule: Crime is clothes? [(At the meeting room, the cast looks with utter shock)] Charity: (as utter shock) Oh no, they are going to kill them! [Sammy: My goodness gracious,] Loud: GREAT BALLS OF FIRE! [at any other them I'd consider this inspiration] Pule: If any. [for a villain in my next movie,] Toast: This is a movie! [but now I consider this sick. (Everyone else is too stunned to reply) (At Harry's car, Harry now notices an open manhole,] Loud: AGAIN WITH THE TMNT REFERENCE? [takes out a remote, and jumps down it as Gene finishes his speech) Gene: So come down to my house right away,] Toast: For my garage sale! [and we will liberate] Pule: Afghanistan from the Taliban. [the world from these two, and achieve] Charity: 25 points. [not only vengeance,] Toast: For the GameCube. [but redemption for the whole world!! I'll have the shields lifted right...now and our liberation will begin! George: Come on Martha,] Pule: Let's go to Fun Land! Charity: Okay, I think that joke is being overused. Pule: Tell that to everyone else. [even though Long Beach is hours away, maybe we can still figure] Loud: IT OUT! [in to the redemption at the end.] Toast: And your end is at the other end. [Martha: Oh, but we need a babysitter for the kids, and I don't want] Charity: Your father. [to expose them to] Toast: I wouldn't. (stuff like that!] Toast: Phew... [George: Oh, then I'll go myself! (He leaves. At Sally and Jim's, the two also decide to leave. Cut to an overhead view of two rows of houses,] Loud: WHERE A VOLCANO JUST WENT OFF! [as people begin to overflow out of the houses and form a mob. Cut back now to Gene. Realizing that victory is close at hand,] Pule: (snickering) Yeah right. [he begins to laugh maniacally and loudly)] Loud: THAT'S NORMALLY MY JOB! [(We now go to a sewer, where Harry is walking and looking at a remote)] Charity: To his TV. [Harry: Okay, from these reports] Toast: Of the Blair Witch Project. [I should be under that prison cell...now! (He stops and pulls out a small ladder, which he climbs and stops when] Loud: MR. HANKEY SHOWS UP! [he's right] Charity: But, sometimes he is wrong. [below the roof) Now how do I get them out of there?] Charity: (as Harry) More importantly, how do I get them out of this movie? [Gasp, of course, this is a job for] Pule: Weenie Man! [my other new invention! (He pulls out a chainsaw. Cut to a depressed Loud and Miss Info.] Loud: HEY! DEPRESSION IS CHARITY'S JOB! [A tapping sound is heard] Pule: Someone is dancing? [and then we hear the chainsaw) Harry: (Muffled)] Toast: Dude, someone gag him? [Stand back! (We now see a hole being cut through the steel floor, although we don't hear anything now.] Loud: THAT CHAINSAW IS REALLY LOUD! Charity: What? Loud: THAT CHAINSAW IS REALLY LOUD! Charity: What? [A steel circle falls revealing the floor and Harry's head pops up)] All: Eeew! [Well, at least I know now] Toast: Who let the dogs out? [my silent chainsaw works like a charm! Miss Info: Who are you? Harry: I'll explain everything,] Loud: IN THE BEGINNING, GOD CREATED ADAM AND EVE! [but for now I've got to get you] Charity: To Six Flags. [out of here before that angry mob shows up! (He steps down from the ladder. Miss Info picks up Loud,] Pule: By the... Charity: (angrily) If you do that once more, I'll beat the crud out of you! Pule: Sorry! [heads down to the ladder,] Toast: Let go down to the ladder, to get something to eat. [and jumps off. Harry picks up the steel circle and pulls out a case of super glue.] Loud: (as super glue) HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! [He puts glue around the circle, then puts the circle into the hole] Loud: (as Baby Plucky) CIRCLE GOES DOWN THE HOLE! [and it fits perfectly)] Pule: Like clothes. [Loud: What was that for? Harry: To fool Gene when he sees] Charity: Blossom. [that you're gone. Now we need to get to his house. Miss Info: What?] Loud: WHAT? [Wouldn't it be better to get as far away] Pule: As Greenland. [from here as possible? Harry: Even if we do,] Toast: This movie would get smarter. [we won't be safe as long as] Charity: Jamie Kellner is still head of the WB. [everyone wants to kill you.] Loud: THEY STILL WANT TO KILL ME! WELL, NOT EVERYONE! [We must get inside his house to fix that,] Toast: Huh? He didn't break anything! [I'll explain on the way.] Loud: ON THE WAY: ONE OF THE WORDS FOR TRAVELING! [(He runs off down the sewer, Loud and Miss Info look thoughtful, then decide to] Pule: Kick his butt? [follow him. Cut now to Gene who's holding a grass of wine)] Toast: Oh yeah. This movie encourages kids to drink. Thanks, movie! [Gene: This may be premature,] Loud: NO KIDDING! [but here's to a glorious day of] Charity: Injustice. [justice. (We now see him toasting to a mirror image of himself.] Toast: Dude, he is nuts! [He then drinks the wine quickly, and then begins to hear some angry murmurs coming from] Loud: THE AUDIENCE! [outside. Smiling, he leaves the control room, leaving the door a crack] Toast: When it opens, we see their cracks! Everyone else: (groans) [open, goes down to the third floor] Pule: (as Elevator Man) Useless stuff, Secret of NIMH II movies, and who know what else. [and goes onto a balcony. And now we can see a rather angry group of people] Pule: Called the KKK. [standing outside the front gate, basically the trademark angry mob. Gene pulls out a] Pule: Gun? Toast: Death warrant? [megaphone) Gene: (Talking through the megaphone) Ahem, welcome angry mob! First of all,] Loud: (as Gene) DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF! [I'd like to thank you for] Charity: Being here for my party. [forming this angry mob. Second,] Charity: Place for stupidity. [you will not have to wait long] Toast: For the new episodes of Rugrats. [to fulfill your bloodlust for our enemies.] Pule: The Taliban? [As you can see, they are trapped inside that prison cell nearby. They are unable to escape. They are...] Loud: BATMEN! [(finally noticing that the cell is empty) GONE! (He pulls out a pair of binoculars and scans the cell) Gene: Hmm, from what I can tell, the lock is still locked] Pule: Otherwise, it wouldn't be called a lock. [so they couldn't have gotten out there. And it appears nothing was cut or damaged. How did they get out?] Toast: Hopefully, they get out of this movie. [(Angry murmurs like "Hey, what's the deal?"] Loud: (as game show host) THAT'S WHAT WE WILL FIND OUT TODAY ON "WHAT'S THE DEAL?" ["Where are they" and "You say they were] Charity: Dead. [here. where'd they go" are heard in the mob) Gene: People, people,] Toast: Is there an echo out here? [please calm down,] Pule: Before I had to call the hospital. [you will all have your chance to fulfill your] Pule: Scorecard. [vengeance, but right now I'm a bit lost] All: No kidding! [as to their location. Hmm, why don't you all enter my house and we'll see if] Charity: (as Gene) I got something in the fridge. [they're] Pule: Dead. [anywhere nearby the vicinities, but please] Loud: DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING! [don't knock over anything, I have tons of sensitive equipment!] Charity: They aren't that sensitive. [[The gate is opened] All: Yay! We can go to Six Flags! [and the mob enters he house. Cut now to] Toast: Norm MacDonald's house. [somewhere else in the house. We see another hole being cut and soon enough] Pule: Another hole is cut. [one is made and Loud, Miss Info, and Harry with chainsaw] Charity: (as chainsaw) Boy! What a cute house! [in hand come through it) Harry: All right, we're in.] Loud: LET'S BREAK HIS EQUIPMENT, AND RAID HIS FRIDGE! [Now we need to] Loud: KILL GENE! [to head for the fourth floor,] Toast: (as Elevator Man) Weapons, insults, and all points west! [undoubtedly where Gene directed] Charity: Enemy of the State. [the marathon. Loud: How do you know] Loud: I LOVE CHARITY? [that? Harry: Whenever Gene builds or does anything, it's on the fourth floor. Like I said,] All: Gene builds or does anything on the fourth floor. [I'd know this cause I know him better than] Loud: HIS BOSS! [anyone. Miss Info: It is a bit uncomfortable being around] Toast: Nikola Tesla, dude. [a friend of that maniac,] Pule: (singing) He's a maniac. Maniac! [but that stuff you said about] Charity: David Arquette. [being here to help and liking the show eases that quickly.] Toast: Including the pain, dude. Pule: I thought Miss Info was a babe. Toast: Yeah, but Pepper is my babe. Pule: Oh. [Harry: We can discuss that later, come on! (They head towards a staircase and go up to the second floor, then journey up] Loud: TO THE MOON! [that floor's staircase, head into the third floor and go up that staircase until they're in front of] Pule: The bathroom. [the door. Harry notices it is still open, opens it, and they go into the control room) Miss Info: (Looking around the room) So this was where he] Charity: Hid his sash. [directed the whole thing.] Toast: Batman & Robin? [Harry: Yes, and it's where we shall get him back at his own game.] Loud: BATTLESHIP? Toast: Clue? Charity: Sorry? Pule: The what-do-you-call-it Show? (Everyone else stares at him) Pule: Hey! It's the best I can come up with! [(He locks the door) Now, we need to get back control of the TV's, and use the only capable of] Toast: Destroying Marilyn Manson's house. [eradicating the urge to kill,] Loud: (as Homer) URGE TO KILL RISING. [humor. You'll need to perform] Charity: A death solo. [humorous jokes and such to make the citizens and mob] Pule: Annoyed at this movie. [laugh so they won't have any reason to kill you.] Loud: EXCEPT MAYBE GENE. [Plus I don't think one of those patented sentimental speeches would help against] Toast: Lex Luthor. [_this_ mob. Loud: That's a good idea, but can we really do that?] Toast: End this movie? [I know we haven't been very good at making people laugh,] Loud: NOT! [and the things we do] Pule: Oh, the things you do. [to try only make them hate us.] Charity: As well as Carrot Top. [Harry: Don't talk like that,] Loud: (as Harry) TALK LIKE THIS! DO DO DEE DEE DUM DUM! [this is not the time nor the place to] Toast: (as Mills) To Get It On! You two want to fight? You have to do it in a new death match! Pule: (as Michael Jackson) you're on, mister! Charity: (as Madonna) You just said when, curly. Toast: (as Mills) None of your backtalk, young lady. [think of] Charity: Loud. Toast: Dude, it looks like Loud thinking about you right now! (Loud looks dreamily at Charity. Finally, he snaps out of it and resumes watching the movie.) [defeat. Look, I told you that] Pule: Gene is a psycho. [you two make me laugh.] Pule: Yeah! [If you can get one person to enjoy your antics, then obviously you're not that bad.] Toast: Dude, at least he agreed with us. [Now go out there] Loud: AND WIN THAT TROPHY! [and give the laugh out loud performances of your lives,] Pule: (as Loud) Gulp! Does he have to say lives? [I know you can do it. (Harry goes over] Loud: (as Harry) ON SECOND THOUGHT, FORGET IT! [to work on the console.] Pule: I thought the spiders destroy that. Charity: It was the control console we were working on, not Gene's. [Loud and Miss Info look worried,] Toast: Charlie was close. [then become determined. They walk over in front of a camera nearby) Harry: Okay, now I just need to hack into] Charity: The internet. [a few more systems to see how to work this thing. (Pushes a few buttons] Loud: AND IT BLEW UP! THE END! [and some instructions come onto one of the screens) Yes,] Loud: (as Harry) HEY! THESE ARE INSTRUCTIONS TO MAKE COOKIES! WHAT CRAP! [now to push a few more buttons.] Charity: Of few more people. [(Cut to the third floor as Gene and the large angry mob continue looking) Gene: Wait a minute, hold it.] Pule: Don't break it. [Why are we even looking in here?] Loud: (as Gene) THIS IS MY BEDROOM! [Terrific,] Toast: This movie got lamer. [while we've searching like stupid people,] All: (laughs) [they're probably halfway] Toast: To Burbank by now. [out of the city. Man: But they're both idiots,] Loud/Charity: Hey! [remember, so they'd have to be here. (A nearby TV] Loud: EXPLODES! [comes on suddenly to static and in a few seconds] Pule: Explodes? [Loud and Miss Info are on)] Loud: OH MY GOSH! WE ARE ON! [Man: What'd I tell you?] Toast: That they are idiots? [Gene: (Irate) How did they get up there?! Well, whatever they're planning] Charity: It would probably work. [is going to have to be cancelled! (He runs up the steps to the fourth floor] Loud: TRIP AND FELL DOWN! [door and sees that it's locked) Blast!] Pule: Someone fired a gun in here? [And I just had to make this door impenetrable and impossible to unlock without the key! (Fade to the meeting room] Charity: Of Sailor Moon. [as the Histerians see Loud and Miss Info on their TV) Tesla: What in the name of Westinghouse] Pule: Who??? Loud: TESLA MUST MADE THAT GUY UP! [are they doing? If I were them,] Charity: Which he isn't. [I'd be running halfway to Sam Jose] Toast: Huh? [by now. Sammy: I don't know,] All: No kidding, Melman! [but if they're planning] Pule: To get it on. All: Pule! Pule: Blast! [on one of those long touching speeches, they're done for. Loud: Good afternoon world.] Toast: Dude, didn't they already did that? [As you know, I am Loud Kiddington.] Loud: AND CHARITY BAZAAR IS MY LOVER! (Charity blushes, as Loud kisses her.) [Miss Info: And I'm Miss Information. Loud: Miss Information?] Pule: (as Miss Info): What? [And just how much information do you miss? (The cast laughs)] All: (laughs) [W.O.W.: I get it,] Charity: She is getting the phone? [they're trying to make everyone laugh] Loud: BY DOING THAT STUPID DANCE! [so they won't kill them.] Pule: Or do something really bad to them. [Loud: You know something Miss Info,] Loud: CHARITY BAZAAR IS STILL HOT! (Charity blushes) [yesterday I went to a nice little restaurant] Toast: Dude, I thought Gene was trying to kill them yesterday. [and ordered a Caesar salad? Miss Info: Really?] Loud: NAH! [Which Caesar did you order salad for, Julius or Octavian?] Pule: Who is Octavian? Charity: A relative of Julius. [(At Gene's house, most of the mob laughs at the joke. Gene however, is trying to drive a stake] Toast: Dude, I am hungry. Can't explain why. [through the steel door] Toast: Dude, that isn't how you killed a vampire! [with no success)] Loud: NEITHER IS THIS MOVIE! [Gene: Stop laughing, you humor obsessed morons!] Pule: He thinks they are the weasels from "Roger Rabbit"? [Miss Info: But I have to tell you, on TV last night] Loud: IS A MARATHON OF US! [I saw "Frasier" and I found out the guy playing him is] Charity: A klutz. [called Kelsey "Grammer"] Toast: The guy who did Sideshow Bob? [Loud: Oh, they decided] Loud: NOT TO KILL US! [to add the word Kelsey to the word grammar, eh? (The mob laughs again. Cut to George and Martha's house as Martha and the kids laugh)] Loud: NOW THEY SEE WHAT IS FUNNY! [Loud: Speaking of name puns, don't you find it a bit strange] Charity: That George W. Bush is president. [that the last name of the spooky actor that Kids WB always makes fun of] Pule: Mickey Mouse? [is "Walken"? Miss Info: Really, where's he "walking" to, Hollywood and Vine? Or should I ask,] Charity: Who killed Kenny? [Hollywood or Vine? (At Gene's house, the mob continues to laugh] Toast: At Gene. [while Gene swings an ax at the door to chop it down,] Toast: Dude, he thinks he is Paul Bunyan now? [but he's having no luck)] Loud: NO KIDDING! [Man: Hey, this is funny, why should we kill people that comes up with puns with that,] Pule: Like what? Toast: That. Pule: Huh? Toast: No, that. Charity: Oh boy... [and ones involving that Walken guy to boot. Gene: (Really angry) Weren't you LISTENING TO ME A HALF HOUR AGO?!] All: No. [You're supposed to kill them, not laugh at them!!! Miss Info: One more thing,] Toast: My stomach is growling. [we all know that Karl Marx, the founder of communism,] Charity: And who play the viceroy in "Histeria Wars I: The History Menace". [has the same last name as that hilarious comedian, Groucho.] Pule: Who defeated John Wayne in Deathmatch. [That's why we parodied him after Groucho in that "Communuts" episode. Loud: Yes I remember,] Loud: NAH! [and I'll bet] Toast: $99.00 bucks. [this was what he really said at the first Communist meeting. "Marx my words,] Charity: We'll overthrow the czar of Russia. [the Communist party will topple capitalism, but first let me grab my glasses and cigar and my brothers Chico and Harpo] Pule: Those are Groucho's brothers, not his! Loud: I WAS ONLY MAKING A JOKE, PULE! WHAT A NUT! [and we'll go around making] Toast: Russian toast. [puns everywhere!" (The mob laughs again at this. A few begin to leave the room. Gene notices this) Gene: WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE GOING?!] Loud: TO DISNEY LAND! [Man: We're leaving, we don't want to kill anymore, we're too doped up on laughter!] Pule: (as Shorty Meeks) Ha ha ha! Crud son! [(Many mob members laugh and laugh until only 9 people are left)] All: D'oh! [Man 2: Those idiots! Don't worry Mr. Burrows, Charity: (as Gene) that is Doctor Burrows! [we still want to kill. (Gene nods his appreciation, then pulls out another chainsaw and tries to create a hole through the door. Back at the meeting room, the Histerians are laughing)] Toast: We are going to starve this winter. [Sammy: Ha ha, oh I taught them well,] Loud: NO WAY! WE TAUGHT OURSELVES! [I never knew they could be that funny! Aka: Hold up, do you hear something?] Charity: There is a loud "shh" all over the world. [There's some sort of noise in the background of that place. (The cast tries to listen in] Pule: But shouldn't hear anything. [closely at the TV) Toast: Dude,] Toast: Where's my car? [that sounds like] Loud: JASON! [like a gnarly chainsaw! Charity: That means they're not out of the woods yet] Pule: But they are still in the house. Charity: Pule; they are still in danger. Pule: Oh yeah. [and are still in danger.] Loud: ONCE AGAIN, I CAN SEE WHY YOU ARE WORRY ABOUT ME, CHARITY. Charity: Yep. I love you, Loud. Loud: I love you, too. (They kissed) [Pepper: There has to be something we can do] Toast: If not help them. [to help them! Froggo: I don't think so unless we found a way to acquire super speed] Pule: Like Sonic the Hedgehog. [in the next few minutes to run to Long Beach. Tesla: Hmm, it would take a genius to figure out how to get there in time, right? Father Time: Yes it would.] Loud: (as F. Time) AND IT DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU! Toast: If he ever was a genius, anyway. [Tesla: Well in that case,] Pule: Phooey. [you've come to the right man,] All: (laughs) [follow me.] All: No! [(They follow Tesla to his lab] Charity: Didn't we already did this scene? [and stop near something large covered behind a sheet.] Toast: Frankenstein? Pule: Gossasmer? Loud: THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME? Charity: King Kong? [Tesla pulls the sheet to reveal] Toast: Aaaahh! It's Barney! Run! [some sort of teleporter, similar to the one in "The Fly")] Pule: (as The Fly scientist) help me! Help me! [Nostradamus: Wow, that's some large, um, um, thingamabobber] Loud: MADE-UP WORD! Charity: No; that is how Nostradamus sometimes talk. [there. Smarty-pants: Actually, it's called a teleporter. Tesla: Thanks for spoiling the surprise.] Toast: (as Tesla) Now go sit in the corner. [I call it the matter teleportation device, the next big step in] Charity: Evolution. [teleportation. Normally you'd need another one of these to teleport somewhere] Loud: EXCEPT JOHN MADDEN'S HOUSE! [or you'd need to mark a X] Toast: Though be careful if your name is Wile E. Coyote. [to wherever you want to go to do the same. Chit: Yeah but we can't mark off Gene's house] Loud: I HOPE! [with an X. Tesla: Let me finish, Mr. Chatterson] Loud: SHUT UP! [As I was saying, this device is different. All you need to do is] Pule: (as Tesla) Hit me in the head really hard. [step in it,] Loud: DON'T! YOU GET YOU-KNOW-WHAT ON YOUR SHOES! [type in wherever you want to go,] All: (as the Rockapella from "Carmen Sandiego") Where did you want to go? [and you will be teleported there. There's room for as many as] Toast: Enough to populate Australia. [14 people in this thing too, and if I'm not mistaken,] Charity: Which you are. [we all total that number.] Pule: Let's go total another house! [Sammy: Yes!] Charity: Now. [You've got to teleport us to inside of] Loud: HERMAN'S HEAD! [Gene's house so we can fend him off before he gets Loud and Miss Info!] Toast: Dude, what does he want to get them? [Tesla: I was going to do that, Mr. Melman. Just get into the teleporter.] Pule: (as Tesla) Or I will kill you. [(They all go into the teleporter) Cho-Cho: Wait a minute, has this thing ever been tested? Tesla: No actually.] Charity: (as Dr. Fred Edison) This is the first time I used it on people. [I was going to tomorrow though. Cho-Cho: What if] Toast: Al Gore was president? [this thing goes haywire] Pule: The machine has hay? [and it sends us to] Loud: ANOTHER DIMENSION! [to the wrong place?] Charity: Like a Paul Reiser movie. [And with no other teleporters, we'd be stranded.] Loud: HERE ON GILLIAN'S ISLAND! [Lucky Bob: Yes, oh wise one. Father Time: It's a risk] Pule: Isn't that a game? [we're gonna have to take, the lives of our friends] Charity: And my boyfriend. [depend on it. (Tesla presses a few buttons] Toast: Of a few people. [on a panel, the teleporter closes, and they are beamed out.] Toast: (as Kirk) Beam...us...up...Scotty. [Back at Gene's house,] Pule: Gene Siskel or Gene Hackman? Loud: GENE BURROWS, YOU NUT! Pule: Meanie. [Gene is still using a chainsaw to go through the door, with only marginal success. Just then, a green light shrines] Charity: A Chaos Emerald? [and the Histeria cast is now in the room)] All: Give it up for us! [Toast: Whoa, nasty trip.] Toast: (as Tom Green) Road Trip. [But it looks like it] Pule: Didn't work. [worked! Gene: (Really, really angry)] Loud: (as Nostradamus) SHUT UP! [YOU?! HOW DID YOU GET HERE?!! Tesla: Thank a certain genius] Pule: Mr. Smartypants? [for that, Mr. Burrows. Gene: Oh right, the crazy Tesla.] All: Ha Ha Ha! You are ridiculous! [Well, you're all going to] Pule: Hopefully not die? Toast: Good. You finally said something we can all agree on. Charity: Yes. [regret coming here. (Pointing to the remaining mob)] Charity: It isn't nice to point. [Stop them! (The cast starts to run up the stairs, but before they get far] Toast: Norm MacDonald shown up. Charity: What is it with jokes about Norm MacDonald? Toast: Dude, we tease Norm MacDonald. Pule: Yeah. [the 9 people jump in front of them)] Loud: AND YOU SHAKE IT ALL ABOUT! [Sammy: Um, we're in a bit of a pickle,] Toast: Dude, they are talking about food again. [could you people excuse us] Charity: (as Sammy) So I can go to the bathroom. [while we stop the villain? Mob: NO!] Loud: GEEZ, JUST THOUGHT THEY ASKED! WHAT A BUNCH OF NUTS! [(They go into fighting positions)] Pule: Power Rangers? [Fat man: (In a sort of Brando voice) You'll have to go through us if you want him. This is an offer you can't refuse, even if you wanted to.] Toast: Great. I bet Robert DeNiro, Joe Pesci, and Al Pacino is going to be in this. [W.O.W: We can't do that,] Charity: You're Marlon Brando. [we can't hurt them,] Loud: THEY LOOK LIKED PORCUPINES! [they're just normal people] Pule: Like Norman, Ohio. [corrupted by Gene. Woman: You may not want to hurt us, but we're going to hurt you. (She kicks W.O.W down the stairs)] Charity: What is it with guys knocking old ladies down the stairs? [Sammy: I don't think we have a choice here, we're gonna have to fight them! (The two groups run towards each other] Toast: And fell down. [and begin to fight. Sorry, no "Batman" effects here.] Loud: RATS! Charity: I'm not happy. Pule: Meanie! Toast: Bummer. [Two men walk up and notice Tesla) Man: Ahh! It's Christopher Walken!] Loud: (as Man) RUN BEFORE HE DOES HIS ROLE FROM THE DEER HUNTER! [Man 2: No Jerry,] Pule: I thought Jerry was a mouse. [that's not Walken, it's that crazy scientist] Charity: Christopher Lloyd. [Nikola Tesla. Jerry: Oh yeah, that guy who failed to] Toast: Killed the Kid Chorus. [build the death ray and who as you said,] Toast: Sounds like Jeff Glen Bennett. [is a lunatic! (This makes Tesla very angry) And you know what, Charles?] Loud: YOU'RE NOT IN CHARGE! [He probably wasn't even much of a genius! Tesla: That's it!] Pule: (as Tesla) you're looking for a butt whooping, pal! [You can question my sanity,] Charity: I will can sanity for $200, Alex. [you can say that I built strange things,] Toast: Like Anti-Gravity ships. [but never, ever question my genius! Oh, and one more thing.] Loud: GET BENT! [ENOUGH WITH THE CHRISTOPHER WALKEN JOKES!!!! (Tesla punches and kicks the two for a few seconds.] Pule: And went down pretty hard. [After that, they tremble and run away. In another part of the room, the fat man] Charity: From Casablanca? [corners Pepper) Fat man: All right, before I take you out] Toast: Hey! Get your own girl! [of the picture, go ahead] Pule: Make my day. [and say it. Pepper: Say what?] Charity: We aren't going that joke again. [Fat man: I know you're going to] Loud: WHACK ME OVER THE HEAD WITH A MALLET! [jump around thinking I'm Vito Corleone,] All: Who??? [so go ahead and say that I do so we can get it over with. Pepper: Actually,] Pule: (as Pepper) I'm not. [you don't look like] Toast: Marlon Brando. [him at all. Fat man: Okay nice try, go ahead, say it,] Toast: (as Fat man) Say I need to go on a diet. [you mistake everyone for famous people, why not me?] Loud: WHY NOT YOU? [Pepper: I mean it, you really don't look like anyone I know. Fat man: What?] Loud: SHE SAYS YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE ANYONE SHE KNOWS! WHAT A FAT NUT! [Oh, I'm not good enough] Charity: For you. [to be mistaken, eh? You'll mistake everyone else for someone famous but not me? Come on, admit it,] Pule: You liked Toast. [I am just as pudgy as] Charity: Wayne Knight. [Corleone, and I said that infamous offer you can't refuse line too, say it! Pepper: Nope, you're not Corleone at all,] Toast: (as Pepper) Now scram! [and I don't need you to sign my book to prove it. (This being the last straw,] Pule: There isn't hay in this movie. [the fat man screams and runs away)] Loud: (as fat man) I AM GOING TO DAILY QUEEN UNTIL THIS BLOWS OVER! [Pepper: (To Charity) Um, just to be sure, that wasn't Corleone was it, because] Toast: (as Pepper) I don't want to look like an idiot again. Charity: Why are you making fun of your girl? Toast: I was only mocking! What a nut! Loud: HEY! THAT'S MY LINE! [it really did look like him, but I just said he didn't to get rid of him. Charity: That wasn't Corleone,] Charity: Or anyone like him. [now come on, the others still need our help. (Elsewhere in the room, a nerdy fanboyish person] Pule: It is the Fanboy from Freakazoid! We are doomed! [comes menacingly near Sammy) Nerd: This is for destroying Kids WB! (Hits him) This is for showing Pokemon] Loud: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT? [over and over again and] Toast: Making someone throw up. [letting it destroy any good programs left!] Toast: Since when is "Pinky, Elmyra, and the Brain" ever that good? [(Hits him again) Sammy: You hate Pokemon? Nerd: Yes, you show them almost 24/7 a day,] Loud: YOU KNOW, I HEARD THE GUYS WHO SHOW THE ANIME ON KIDS WB HAD BOUGHT THE FOX KIDS CARTOON LINE. Charity: Really? Loud: THAT IS WHAT I HEARD. NOT REALLY SURE. [I can't stand it, especially now that there's a movie coming up.] Charity: Too late. [Sammy: Oh, then you shouldn't be happy that Pokemon will be crossing over with Batman Beyond] Pule: Didn't that already happened? Toast: No it didn't. Pule: What about the commercial? Toast: Oh yeah. [next year making it Pokemon Beyond,] Loud: WHERE AN OLD ASH KETCHUM TRAINS A YOUNG TRAINER TO CATCH THEM ALL! [then taking over Men In Black making it Pokemon in Black,] Toast: A show where Pokemon protects the Earth against invading Clefairy. [and finally making a sequel to the movie that apparently those idiotic critics hate.] Loud: BATMAN & ROBIN? [Nerd: Really? AAAAAHHHHHH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, LET ME OUT OF THIS] Pule: Movie. [TORTURE OF POKEMON!!!!!! (He runs away)] Toast: Coward! [Sammy: Ha ha, gotcha, none of that's gonna happen, with the exception of the sequel.] Loud: NO! NOT ANOTHER BATMAN & ROBIN MOVIE!!! [(A man and woman then try to sneak up on Sammy, then the man screams)] Woman: Bob, are you okay?] Charity: (as Bob) I am in this horrible movie. Do I look liked I am okay?! [Bob: Something bit me! (We see now Fetch is biting Bob's leg.] Loud: THAT IS MY BEST FRIEND! Pule: I thought Froggo is your best friend. Loud: WHY ELSE IS A DOG IS KNOWN AS *MAN'S* BEST FRIEND? Charity: Good point. [He then lets go and bites the woman's shoe. Terrified, the two run off)] Pule: (as Bob and woman) Aaah!! He got rabies! [Sammy: Fetch? How'd you get here? Fetch: After Gene let everyone out,] Toast: Now he let the dog out. [I ran to the meeting room to see what you were doing, then I saw Tesla's teleportation thing and came here. W.O.W.: You certainly look rested. Fetch: Well I did get a good sleep today. Froggo: You actually slept through that noise?] Charity: We are surprised. [Fetch: Hey, I'm the pet of the loudest kid on Earth, after a while you get used to it. (While they are talking, the remaining 3 people left,] Loud: LARRY, CURLY AND MOE! Pule: (as Curly) Nyuk, nyuk. Charity: (as Moe) Quiet. (Slaps Pule) Pule: (as Curly) (Bark like a dog) [two men and] Toast: A baby. [a woman, pull out guns and aim them at the others, but then the guns are suddenly replaced with flowers) Man 1: Hey, who replaced our guns with flowers?] Pule: Daniel Boone is in this? [Cho-Cho: Lucky Bob did. Lucky Bob: Hi oh! Woman: Say, I've always wondered,] Loud: WHO WROTE THE BOOK OF LOVE! [why do they call him Lucky Bob?] Charity: Who knew that was coming? Say aye. All: Aye! [Cho-Cho: Because one day when he sneezed, a silver dollar came out of his nose.] All: Gross! [Now silvar dollars come out every time he sneezes. (Lucky Bob is about to sneeze a really big sneeze) Lucky Bob: Ah...ah...CHOO!!!!!! (A whole pile of] Toast: Snot. [silver dollars come up in front the group) Man 2: Wow, there's got to be at least 150 dollars in front of us!] Charity: No, there isn't. [Now I can buy that] Loud: N64! [new fishing pole! Man 1: Oh no you don't Lenny, I want that for my new barbecue!] Pule: (as Homer) Mmmmh. Barbecue. [Woman: You won't get anything, I'm taking this to use to buy things on QVD!] Loud: HUH? Charity: Shopping. Loud: OH! [(They fight over the money] All: Jerry, Jerry, Jerry! [then run away chasing Lenny who's gotten a hold of it all)] Toast: (as Lenny) I got to bother Homer! [Gene: You idiots!!] Pule: Is he talking about them or the mob? Charity/Loud/Toast: The mob. [Sammy: Well well Gene, now it looks like the tables have turned.] Pule: I thought they are out of danger. What does tables have to do with this? [Gene: Not very likely, I still have a trick or two left.] Pule: (as David Copperfield) what you are going to see it an illusion. [You pals are still as good as dead.] Charity: If he kills Loud... Loud: RELAX, CHARITY. HE WON'T. [Aka: You're not gonna kill them Gene, we're gonna kick your butt and stop you stone cold.] Charity: Yet another WWF reference. [(The cast runs up the stairs) Gene: I have a better idea.] Toast: Die. [Why don't you all enjoy the crisp] Loud: COOL DRINK! [late afternoon air instead of aggravating me?] Pule: A little bit late for that, Gene. [Histerians: NO! Gene: Tough! (He pulls a lever near the door and the stairs turn into a ramp. The cast slips down the ramp,] Pule: Whee! Charity: What are you doing? We are sliding down a ramp away from Gene! Loud: AT LEAST HE DIDN'T KILL YOU! Charity: Good point. (Guess what?) [except for Tesla, who slips off and lands] Toast: On his keys. [to the right of the room away from view. A trap door is opened at the bottom of the ramp and the cast falls through it,] Pule: Where they come to a good death. The End. Everyone else: (annoyed) Ahem... Pule: Oops. Forgot you guys survived. Sorry. [goes down a chute,] Charity: As to his answer to a parachute. [and lands outside of the house. Gene then goes back to work] Toast: Wasn't he fired? [on the door) (Cut to the control room,] Loud: OF FOX KIDS! [where Harry is keeping a watchful eye. Suddenly a tiny hole is made and we can see] Charity: The Borrowers? [Gene through a peephole)] Loud: A PEEPING GENE! [Harry: Hello Gene. Gene: Harry?] Toast: Harry T. Stone? [I should have known! I should have known you'd side with them!! Harry: This is your own good Gene, as your friend I have to tell you that] Loud: YOU ARE A JERK! [if you continue this, revenge will become your life] Pule: In the game of Life. Spin the wheel! [and it will be ruined. You can't let yourself be consumed by] Pule: The Dark Side. [this, you have to let it go. Gene: Really. That's not what a true friend would say.] Toast: If Harry was his friend, anyway. [A true friend would understand my cause and that this must be done, they ruined me! You have to understand. Harry: Either way, I'm still going to help stop you, for your own good. Gene: Oh is that so?] All: Nah! [(He uses the chainsaw to make a bigger hole and he climbs into the room, dropping the chainsaw) In that case, you'll have to die too. Loud! Miss Info!] Pule: I love you! [It's time to cancel this program, permanently! (He turns off the console] Toast: Dude! I was almost to Level Three! [and comes ominously near the threesome. They run away witrh Gene close behind them. Harry opens a nearby door] Pule: It is the bathroom, you dope! [and he and Miss Info enter a room, but Gene desperately grabs Loud's legs and he falls.] Charity: Let him go, you creep! [Before Gene can pull him up, Miss Info comes by and kicks Gene in the face)] Toast: Whoo-hoo! You go, girl! [Gene: OW!! Those high heels really hurt, ow!] Loud: KICK HIM IN YOU KNOW WHERE AREA! [Harry: (Whispering) Quickly, while he's recovering,] Loud: LET KILL HIM! [there is a staircase to the roof of this place, lets get up there before he gets up. (They run into the room, climb another flight of stairs,] Charity: (as airline pilot) Welcome to Stupid Flights. [and open a door to the roof. Gene notices this just as they get away) Gene: Very well then,] Toast: (as Gene) I'll give up. [if that's how it's going to be, so be it! You have no idea] Loud: ACTUALLY, HE HAD NO IDEA! All: (laughs) [how much I didn't want it to come to this! (He goes into a desk to look for something) You know the saying,] Toast: What goes up; must come down. ["If you want something done right, do it yourself"? (He finds what he's looking for:] Charity: A gun to shoot himself? [it's a gun)] Loud: NOPE, HE'S TRYING TO KILL US. BUT YOU ARE CLOSE! [Well, you've just forced me to live up to that saying. (He cocks the gun] Pule: It's a chicken? [and heads for the roof. Cut to outside as the Histerians try to open the door, but can't.] Loud: (as Father Time) BLASTED CHILD PROOF LOCKS! [Then suddenly police begin to arrive) Policeman: (Sounding like Dennis Franz) This is police chief Timpowicz!] Charity: Bless you. [What's going on here?] Loud: GARY COLEMAN IS BACK! [Sammy: If we knew, we'd tell you, but we don't,] Toast: Dude, didn't we already did this? [since the door's locked. Besides, who are you guys rooting for? Timpowicz: Well, we want Mr. Burrows to kill them,] Pule: The police are so corrupted these days! [but we also do need to go by the book] Loud: HE IS BRITISH? [and arrest him for taking over TV. (A few officers try to kick and shoot the door, with no success)] Pule: Neither is the last Police Academy movie. [Officer: Hey, this door won't break!] Loud: THEN LET'S INSULT IT SOME MORE! [Father Time: I wouldn't expect anything less from Gene. Wait a minute, M. Tesla's still inside!] Charity: Do we even care? [(Cut to Tesla who's recovering)] Pule: Then he fell down again. [Tesla: Whoa, that unplea...sant...sant...sant...sant.] Toast: Dude, Tesla is like a broken record. [(He looks at the many devices in the room. Tesla smiles] Charity: Like an idiot. [just like Brain did in "Opportunity Knox") These should come in handy.] Pule: (as Tesla) In case I want to commit suicide. [(We see the cast viewing this through binoculars) Aka: Well, we're not getting in there anytime soon.] Loud: AND WE WON'T GET OUT OF THIS MOVIE EITHER! [W.O.W.: It's all up to Loud, Miss Info, and Harry now. (Cut now to Lydia's office] Toast: Again? [again) Lydia: Hello, it's me yet again, Lydia Karaoke,] Toast: Ask Me If I Care. Charity: Do You Care? Toast: No, nahda, zipboa! [and I'm to protest the] Pule: New Adam Sandler movie. [conclusion of this story! Slappy: (Coming on screen) What's wrong this time,] Pule: Dennis Franz showing his butt? Everyone else: Gross! [anymore spiders?] Charity: What a remarkable pig. [Lydia: No, look at this script for] Loud: SUPER MARIO BROS! [the upcoming events!] Pule: Loud vs. Charity...Bugs vs. Himself...Tom and Jerry vs. Sylvester and Tweety... [I would be insane] All: Too late! [to let this be shown! Slappy: (Reading) What gives here?] Charity: Santa Claus. [Where's the dynamite? Where's the explosives?] Toast: Where's Bill Nye, the Science Guy? [He's only using a puny gun?] Loud: (as Hulk) GENE SMASH! [Lydia: That's why I can't allow] Loud: CARROT TOP! [this to go on. Slappy: Well, his methods don't agree with me,] All: (as his methods) we don't agree with you. [but still I can't let you stop this] All: (groans) [just before the finale, so here's a parting shot from me!] Toast: Dude, she is bringing out a gun? [(She pulls out more explosives and blows up the desk again) Heh heh, I told you I'd be back!] Pule: (as Skippy) Spew! [Speaking of being back,] Toast: Dude, Slappy got back. [now let's go back to the story. (Fade in to the roof of] Charity: Alexander Graham Bell. [Gene's house as Gene comes onto it with gun in hand. He looks around for the three good guys] Loud: WHO BUILT THEIR HOUSES OF STRAW, STICKS AND BRICKS! Charity: Hey, that rhymes! Loud: OH YEAH! [but he can't find them. We now see they are hiding behind] Pule: Him. [a chimney.] Pule: Why? Are they waiting for Santa Claus? [Gene continues to look for a while, then begins to smile)] Charity: Uh oh. [Gene: Well, I guess I'll go now! And leave those three cowards out there, and when I say cowards I mean cowards!] Loud: (trying to calm down) must be calm, must be calm, must be calm... [But I wouldn't expect less from] Toast: Adam Sandler. [characters who are so degrading, annoying, and undeserving to still be living.] Loud: Charity. Charity: Yeah? Loud: Hold me. (Charity nod. She holds Loud while he is shivering with fear.) [And that Miss Information, boy,] Pule: What a babe. [I'll reiterate once again; when they gave out brains] Toast: From the Wizard of Oz. [she must have gotten the last one in the barrel!] Charity: If Gene only had a brain. [(Loud hear this and begins to get angry)] Loud: I AM NOT TRYING TO BE ANGRY! I AM TRYING TO BE CALM! [Loud: GRRR!] Toast: (as Gene) Is there a dog up here? [(Gene hears this and heads for the chimney. The three run away as Gene fires his gun, and misses. Gene fires twice more at the running trio] Pule: You can only fire twice. [and misses again) Harry: We need to split up,] Charity: Is this a Scooby-Doo reference? [you guys. You two distract him] Pule: Oh yeah. That would be easy. [and I'll sneak up on him. (He runs off from them) Gene: Harry, come back here!] Loud: (as Harry) I CAN'T! I GOT TO GO TO PIZZA HUT! [Loud: FORGET HIM, IT'S US YOU REALLY WANT TO KILL!] Loud: D'OH! [Gene: And don't you forget it,] Toast: Huh? [not that you'll have much time on Earth left to! (He fires twice more and barely misses. They then hide behind another chimney. Gene climbs to the top of it] Pule: And went down the chimney like Santa Claus. [and fires at them twice more and misses. They run alongside the front ledge of the house,] Toast: Characters on a hot tin roof. [but Gene runs for his life] Charity: They didn't try to kill him! [and quickly corners them as the ledge is a half foot] Loud: MORE FEET? [behind them) Gene: Well well well, so this is how it ends for us. (They try to run to the left, but Gene sticks out his] Pule: Middle finger. [pistol in front of them. They try to run to the right and the same happens)] Pule: He flips them off? [No, there's no escaping this time.] Charity: Barbara Subville. [Look at it this way,] All: No! [either you'll die falling off the house, or die by being shot, I think being shot is less painful.] Charity: Not really. [(Harry stands behind Gene, he knows he has to move, but is frozen in place)] Loud: MR. FREEZE SHOWN UP? [Gene: Now, let's see. Which one of you will have the honor of] Pule: Accepting this award. [being dead first? Ooh, this is a tough one. (Thinks) Well, whoever it is has to be the worst character of them all,] Toast: Goofy? [so in that case (he points the gun at Loud) good bye Loud. Miss Info: No!] Charity: No! Loud: IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT, CHAR? Charity: (embarrassed) Oops, sorry. Got caught up in the movie too. [(Through Gene's P.O.V, we see him stand back, cock the gun,] Toast: Dude; that is sick! [and then his eyes close and three gun shots are heard) Gene: Hahahahaha!] Pule: The Headless Horseman with a head. [Look at that, not only do I get vengeance, I do it with my eyes closed and...AAAHHHH! (We see why he screamed;] Loud: MY DOG BIT HIM! [Loud is still standing and all right. However, Miss Info is lying on the ground and it's quite clear why, though no blood is seen] Pule: Oh yeah. Thanks Lydia! [and her face doesn't look all that painful) Gene: Hmm, well I would expect nothing more than an idiotic move by] Toast: Carrot Top. [an idiot. (Points the gun at Loud again) Now to complete my revenge!] Charity: Not again! Loud: Charity. Charity: Oh, sorry. [(He pulls the trigger but a clicking sound is heard)] Toast: Dude, he got grasshoppers? [Blast it, I'm out of bullets! Oh well, I still have two 10 bullet boxes left to use for reloading. (He pulls out a box of] Charity: Cigars. [bullets and begins to reload the gun. Harry comes near Miss Info and Loud does too, they're both shocked and worried,] Loud: NOT TO MENTION ANNOYED! [Loud especially) Loud: Miss Info, you, you let yourself be shot to save me? Why?] Pule: (as Miss Info) because we need someone in the sequel! [Miss Info: (A bit weak) Well, what kind of person would I be] Toast: (singing) What kind of woman am I? [if I let someone I cared about be shot by that villain?] Charity: Leave Loud alone. You got Mr. Smartypants. Loud: I think she meant me as a friend. Charity: She better. [Harry: I should have stopped him, this is my fault. (To Loud) I'll go take her to the back of the roof, you make sure what happened to her doesn't happen to you.] Charity: I hope so. [Loud: (Nearly in tears) Please take good care of her, I don't want her to die. Harry: That makes two of us.] Pule: There are two Harrys? [(He pulls up Miss Info and goes to the back of the roof. A shaken up Loud sees Gene finishing] Toast: Adjusting his pants. [reloading the gun. Thinking of all that he has done in the last 24 hours, he begins to get really angry.] Loud: I AM ANGRY FOR WHAT HE ALMOST DONE TO CHARITY! Charity: Loud, please don't. [Gene then turns around towards him) Gene: Well, I may have sent one deserving person to the afterlife already, why don't you do us] Pule: There is two of him? Toast: Dude, that is scary. [a favor and make it two?] Loud: NO! [(He cocks the gun) When you get to Hades, give my regards to the devil.] Charity: Except he is good, so he would go to Heaven instead. Loud: You know, you are right Charity. I am good. I would probably make it through this movie. Charity: Really? Loud: Yeah, I am doing fine now. [(This is the final straw.] Pule: There isn't any hay! [Loud screams, not his usual scream, but this one is a very, very, very loud] Loud: SHUT UP! [scream, and that's being too kind. Gene cringes from the sound and falls to the ground and before he can get up,] Toast: (as Urkel) I am falling and I can't get up. [Loud jumps onto his back) Gene: Get off me, you loud little brat! (Gene gets up and tries to point the gun at Loud, but he grabs his arm,] Chartiy: Gene grabs his own arm? [and while Gene staggers around they fight for control of the] Pule: World. [gun. Gene is so intent on Loud that he doesn't realize that he is now dangerously close to the ledge.] Pule: And Loud pushes him off! [When he does, he begins to slip] Charity: On the ice. [and his right foot does just that, he's only standing on his left one now. Loud then jumps off Gene, just as he begins to fall.] Toast: Have a nice trip! Pule: Good you next fall! [But he grabs on to the ledge with his right hand and with it he hangs for dear life. Loud looks at him bitterly) Gene: Go ahead, drop me off this house and kill me.] Loud: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO! JUST KILL THE PSYCHO! [Loud: You know,] Toast: You are a psycho. [I may just do that] Charity: Lick food stamps. [after all you've done.] Loud: ESPECIALLY TO CHARITY! [Gene: No, you can't, I know you can't. If you really are the good kind person Miss Info says you are,] Charity: And she is so right. And I will prove it. (Charity kisses Loud again.) [you wouldn't have the heart to kill me. You don't have it in you.] Loud: I DO TOO HAVE A HEART! [(Loud steps back realizing he's right. Harry watches this and starts to] Toast: Kill Gene. [walk toward him) Gene: I thought so.] Pule: (as Gene) I am an evil dork. [You don't have the guts to kill someone.] Loud: (as Guts announcer) DO...YOU...HAVE IT? All: Guts! [And neither did I. (We now see his free left hand is still holding the gun. He brings it up) Until now.] Charity: No! Loud: DEAR GOODNESS, NO! Toast: Dudes, calm down. Pule: Yeah, this happened a long time ago. And Loud is still alive. Loud/Charity: (embarrassed) Oops, how embarrassing. [(Harry gasps. We see Gene fire the gun,] Loud: (as Gene) YOU'RE FIRED! [but we don't see what happens.] Toast: I can't see! I can't see! Pule: Why? Toast: I got my eyes closed. [However, Gene's disbelieving face tells the tale;] Charity: Of Little Red Riding Hood. [Harry is staggering and clutching his stomach, while Loud stands unharmed) Gene: I, I, I...I don't believe this!! Do you people have some sort of disease] Loud: CALLED AIDS. [where you can't see that it's not worth it to kill yourself for him? For someone who doesn't deserve to still be alive?!] Toast: Like Gene. [Harry: He doesn't deserve to live, eh? Gene: Yes, thank you! Harry: That makes two of us. I thought you could be redeemed,] Pule: At a Kroger store. [but now I see this is the only way to stop you! (He pulls Gene's arm away from the ledge and he falls.] Loud: AND GENE DIED! THE END! [However,] Charity: I knew it wouldn't last. [he grabs onto a flag pole in the middle of his fall and is hanging onto it with his right hand with the gun still in his left.] Pule: In his left? Toast: Right. Pule: I thought he grab the pole with the right hand. Now his gun is in the right? Toast: No, left. Charity: Enough with that joke! [The police and the Histerians watch this intensely.Gene looks at them, then begins to smile)] Pule: Why is Gene smiling? Loud: TAKE A GUESS! [Gene: (To Loud and Harry) Well, it has become quite apparent to me that I am going to die soon.] Charity: Not really. Loud: YEAH! YOU ARE GOING TO DIE LATER! [And I can't think of any two people I'd like to take to the next world] Pule: (as Marvin the Martian) Welcome to Mars. Isn't it lovely, hmmm? [with me than you two. (He points his gun upward towards the two and fires, but misses. The two run to left and Gene continues to fire as they do so.] Loud: THERE IS A FIRE! SOMEONE GET THE HOSE! [Even as they run northward, the shots by Gene barely miss. Finally he runs out of bullets)] Loud: (as Bugs) HEY LAUGHING BOY! NO MORE BULLETS! [Gene: Rats again!] Toast: I thought Pinky and the Brain isn't in this. [Only one box left, I'd better be conservative. (He puts the gun inside his mouth,] Toast: Dude, he is trying to shoot off his mouth. [then with his free hand] Pule: The hand is free at Bernard's. [pulls the last box of bullets out of his pocket and begins to reload. Loud and Harry are meanwhile at the far left of the roof) Harry: Did you hear that,] Charity: (as Pee-Wee) What? What? [he has only 10 bullets left. Loud, I have an idea, I'm going to (whispers his plan in Loud's ear) Loud: No, you, you can't do that,] Loud: I KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING! [it's not worth] Pule: Cash. [it! Harry: I will not stand by and let that madman kill you,] Pule: Lex Luthor? [this is the last option. At least I'll have gone for a worthy cause. You just need to make him waste his bullets. Loud: But I still can't you... Harry: Shhh.] Toast: The tire has a hole in it. [People say you're] Charity: Cute. [one dimensional with the yelling, please for our sakes, don't be one dimensional in saving lives.] Charity: That would have made Loud two-dimensional. Pule: Does that even makes sense? Toast: Yes. Loud: YEAH! [Now do it. (He walks away. Cut to the police and the Histerians down below) Sammy: Umm, Mr. Timpowicz,] Loud: (as Sammy) OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS! [when were you planning on DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THIS! Like stopping him?! Timpowicz: Well as we said, we want him to succeed,] Pule: What a jerk. Charity: Yeah. [but we do plan to arrest him, but after he succeeds. Sammy: If you won't stop him,] Toast: No one can! [I will! (He grabs a gun from an officer. He then points it at Gene] Pule: His middle finger? Charity: Again with the middle finger. [who is now finished] Loud: I HOPE SO! [reloading the gun. Before Sammy can get a shot off, we see Gene turn towards him and without any emotion,] Toast: If he ever had any. [he fires his gun,] Loud: (as Gene) YOUR FIRED, GUN! [and we then see Sammy fall down. Gene now turns his attention to a running Harry) Gene: HARRY!!!! Loud: HEY GENE!] Loud: YOUR WIFE JUST CALLED! [LEAVE HARRY ALONE,] Charity: He just got out of the Home Alone movies. [IT'S ME THAT YOU WANT! YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME] Toast: Dude, sick! [DEAD FIRST!! Gene: (Extremely cold) Prepare to suffer a fate of indescribable pain.] Loud: A PAULIE SHORE SPECIAL? [(Normal) Otherwise known as] Charity: Prince. [being shot, you can choose your pick of description.] Pule: Okay, what about a very bad way of dying? [(He fires at Loud and once again narrowly misses. Loud runs back and forth from left to right as Gene continues to fire.] Toast: Like a chicken with his head cut off. Charity: Don't you dare try anything! [He keeps on missing but he's getting closer.] Pule: That is getting closer to stuffing a coconut up his... (Charity covers his mouth) [However he's getting angrier as Loud continues to avoid him, and he fires quicker and with more rage, until a clicking sound is heard; he is now out of bullets.] Charity: (as Elmer Fudd) What do you know? No more bullets. [He looks and sees the police now pointing guns at him, and the Histerians look at him with] Toast: Annoyance. [vengeful intent on their faces. Now realizing all is lost, Gene screams in anguish) Timpowicz: Okay Gene,] Loud: PREPARE TO DIE! [are you ready to come down now? Gene: NO! (Low) It's not over.] Loud: UNTIL THE FAT LADY SCREAMS! [You fools haven't won anything. Right now all you've earned is a rest until] Toast: The cows come home. [the inevitable! THIS ISN'T OVER YET! Voice: (V.O.) Oh no?] Pule: Mr. Bill presents. [(We now see Harry standing above Gene. He then jumps off the house and he is about to fall on the pole) Gene: Okay, maybe now it's over.] Charity: About time he admitted it. [(Harry lands on the pole,] Toast: And his keys. [knocking Gene from his hold, and they fall. At that exact second, a window is broken] Loud: (as Gene) HEY! YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT, YOU KNOW! [and Tesla comes out with many pieces of equipment) Tesla: Hahahaha! At last, with all these devices I will finally be able to build a successful] Charity: Microwave. [death ray! Sure it is wrong to steal this from him, but at least now I won't have to resort to one of those embarrassing] Pule: Don King specials. [death ray yard sales.] Loud: YEAH! THEY ARE REALLY EMBARRASSING...FOR HIM! [(Just then, Gene falls to the ground, though we don't see it. Before Tesla can comprehend this, something falls on him.] All: (cheers) [We now see Harry, alive and apparently well, sitting on Tesla, who is lying on the ground)] Charity: Hopefully Tesla is dead. [Harry: I'm, I'm alive? I'M ALIVE! Hahahaha! I thought I was going to die,] Toast: I hope not! [now they're okay and I'm alive! Oh thank you Mr. (he then sees who it is) AAHH!] Pule: (as Pepper) It's you, it's really you! [Oh, it's you Mr. Tesla, thank you for standing there so I could fall on you!] Loud: (as Tesla) YOUR WELCOME! [(Tesla gets up and sees the devices flat and destroyed in his arms) Tesla: You broke my devices. Just when things were going right again the window smashes closed. What do you people have against genius?!] Toast: Not really. We just have something against you. [Why must I be denied at every turn! Well let me tell you] Loud: (as Tesla) I AM A NUT! [my death ray will be built and ready to disintegrate anything!] All: (laughs) [This, Nikola Tesla swears.] Charity: It isn't nice to swear. [(He begins to laugh madly, then he clucks like a chicken and run away)] Pule: (as Tesla) I got to find and annoy Foghorn Leghorn. [Loud: WHAT A NUT! W.O.W: Now that's a undeniable fact if ever I heard one.] Loud: ANOTHER UNDENIABLE FACT IS I LOVE CHARITY! Charity: Oh Loud... (They kissed again.) [Harry: Loud, are you all right?] Toast: (as Loud) Oh, I'm pretty fine, dude. Oh, look at the pretty birdies. [Loud: I'M FINE, OR AS FINE AS ANYONE CAN BE AFTER THIS. IS GENE DEAD?] Pule: Yes. {(Timpowicz checks out Gene)] Charity: Pervert. [Timpowicz: No, he's not dead,] Pule: D'oh! [but he's in bad shape.] Pule: (as Richard Simmons) then let get him to shape, you lazy fatsos! [He needs an ambulance now. Loud: WELL SEND OUT ONE FOR HARRY TOO, HE GOT SHOT. Harry: No, I'm fine, it's not serious. But I do feel a little] Charity: Good. [weak, maybe some blood spilled while I was falling. I should go to the hospital, but I don't need an ambulance.] Loud: (as some gangster) WE AIN'T NEED NO STINKIN' AMBULANCE! [Froggo: Get someone to take Sammy to the hospital too,] Loud: NO! [Gene got him pretty good, though he's still] Toast: Annoying, dude. [conscious. Sammy: (Weak) Did we win? Charity: Yeah, we won, now] Loud: SHUT UP! [rest and you'll be fine. Loud: WAIT, YOU STILL NEED ONE MORE] Pule: Body? Toast: Villain? [AMBULANCE. MISS INFO, SHE'S IN BAD SHAPE AND SHE NEEDS TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL TOO. Timpowicz: Wait a minute, why should we?] Charity: (as "Stone Cold") Cause "Stone Cold" says so. [She drove us crazy just as much as you did, most of us want her dead, not alive. Loud: I WON'T LET DIE! IF YOU SAW] Toast: Jurassic Park I. [WHAT HAPPENED OUT THERE THESE LAST 24 HOURS,] Pule: You would realize we are mocking this movie. [YOU'D KNOW WHY I FEEL THIS WAY. SHE HELPED ME THROUGH SUCH A DIFFICULT PERIOD,] Loud: WHICH IS POTIONS 169! [SHE TOLD ME THINGS I'VE NEVER BEEN TOLD BEFORE,] Charity: (as Captain Picard) To boldly go where no one has gone before. [SHE... Timpowicz: (Interrupting) All right, enough with the mush!] Toast: (as Timpowicz) You're scaring me. [We'll send a ambulance for her and Gene and police escorts to the] Loud: POLICE MAN BALL! [hospital for the other two. (Cut to later on as a crowd and two ambulances] All: Ice cream man! Give us some ice cream! [are near Gene's house. Miss Info is being loaded on a stretcher to one, while Gene is about to be] Loud: KILLED, I HOPE. [loaded to the other.] Pule: (singing) One way or the other... Toast: Dude, we already did that joke. Pule: Rats! [Loud watches the ambulance with Miss Info drive away)] Toast: (as guy in ambulance) I got to go to Taco Bell until this blows over. [Voice: (Weak) Loud (Loud turns around and sees] Charity: Me. [the other ambulance. He sees that Gene is awake, however barely. He comes over to him) Loud: Yes Gene? Gene: I was right.] Charity: (as Gene) I am a psycho who will plan to kill you later. [You haven't won anything. Loud: What do you mean, you failed in killing us. Gene: Temporarily, I said that you couldn't bring yourself to kill me and I was right.] Loud: (as Gene) SHUT UP! [If I had been falling from four stories] Pule: This story would have been done. [I'd be dead, but from three I'm alive, but barely. That's why you will lose eventually, and why I, like another great general] Charity: Ike Eisenhower. [once said, shall return. (Chuckles to himself) Loud: (Leaning in closely to Gene) Save it for the insane asylum...Doc.] Toast: (as Bugs) Eh, What's Up Doc? Pule: (as Daffy) you're despicable! Charity: (as Road Runner) Beep beep. Loud (as Yosemite Sam) GREAT HORNING TOADS! [(Gene gives no expressing and is put into the ambulance. It then drives off. Loud turns and stares at the rest of the cast, who have] Pule: Diahera. [concerned looks on their faces) Loud: Well, now what do we do?] Charity: Rent a motel. [Father Time: We may as well rent a] Toast: Car. [motel to stay in] Charity: I was right. [until everything clears up.] Toast: Like the fog. [Let's go (They walk away) (Time passes] Toast: (as Time) D'oh! I hurt my knee again! [and now it's nighttime. The area is now deserted] Pule: Except for a house. [but just then] Loud: IT BLEW UP! BOOM! [two cars come up in front of the gate)] Pule: Ha! They didn't even make it like a police car! Loud: THE REAL STORIES OF THE FAKE HIGHWAY PATROL! [George: (Coming out of one car) All right, where are the soon to be deceased villains?] Charity: They are already dead. [Jim: (Coming out of other car) Make way for Jimmy...] Loud: JIMMY NEUTRON? NO WAY! [wait a minute where is everyone? Sally: I told you] Toast: (as Sally) we shouldn't have stop for gas. [they'd be dead by now. George: (Noticing the two) Phew,at least I'm not the only one] Pule: Who sound liked George Washington. [who came down 3 hours too late. Sally: Thank you mister, for making us feel the same way. Boy I guess we're pretty bad on] Loud: TIMING! [timing, eh? George: Don't I know it. This reminds me of the time where... Jim: Wait a minute, I know where this is going.] Loud: RUN! [Are we going to regale ourselves with long stories, then become friends through this chance meeting? George: Looks that way.] Toast: Ha! Made ya look. [Jim: Well then, put 'er there pal, my name's Jim!] Pule: Will the real Jim Slimer please stand up? [(They continue to yak] Charity: Until the zookeeper comes to get them. [through the night. Cut now at daytime to] Toast: Bart Simpson's house. [a normal looking motel with a sign nearby reading "Welcome to Motel-7".] Loud: WHAT HAPPENED TO MOTEL 66? [A caption reads] All: (singing) We are the ending, the ending of our story. ["Three days later" The cast is sitting at a hotel room,] Pule: I thought it was a motel. [listening to a radio) Newsanchor: Well, the loose ends were mostly tied up] Toast: Because someone tied up John Goodman. [today in the marathon saga. Dr. Gene Burrows is still in a hospital bed, but in prison too,] Pule: Prison two? Is there another prison? Loud: NO, HE SAYS PRISON TOO. [as he was sentenced to life in jail] Toast: Without parole. [and his bed are in a jail cell at the Long Beach maximum security prison. Worldwide polls read that most people] Charity: Preferred Pepsi. [now don't want to kill Loud and Miss Info, but are still angry at the events of three days ago.] Loud: (puts his head in hands) TELL ME ABOUT IT. [(The radio is turned off by Sammy)] Toast: (as radio) Creep! [Sammy: Well, it looks like] Charity: The Packers won the Super Bowl. Loud: FINALLY YOU GOT INTO IT. Pule/Toast: Go Packers! Whoo! [we got out of this almost unscathed, though we're still waiting for what's happening with Miss Info. Toast: Yeah dude, why won't they tell us] Toast: When is this movie going to end? [what's going on with her? W.O.W: Well, we would have gone to see her, but it was advised] Loud: THAT VIEWERS AVOIDED THIS FAN-FICTION! [that we not appear in public for a while after all this. Also the hospital didn't call us] Pule: A bunch of ninnies. [because they said that people that still want to kill us could possibly trace their calls to here, and if reporters know how she is, they won't say] Charity: Because they are a bunch of morons with flashily things. [cause they want to forget about this as quick as possible, since all the dirt on the story] Toast: Has been removed. [has already been uncovered. Sammy: Yeah, and since I'm less infamous than her,] All: No kidding! [that's why my situation was made more public to you. (Father Time notices Loud sitting with a vacant expression) Father Time: Loud, are you alright?] Loud: LET'S SEE, I'M ALMOST DIED FROM EVERYTHING GENE THROWN AT ME. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I AM ALL RIGHT?! [Fetch: Hey pal, what's the deal?] Toast: You give us the money, and we will give you the stuff. [You should be happy, you didn't get killed and that Gene guy is gone for good.] Charity: I wish. [Loud: I know, but I've been thinking about] Pule: Charity. [what he said. I have a feeling a dark cloud has entered my life] Pule: Is it raining? [and Gene Burrows is its name.] Loud: O! [Charity: What do you mean? Loud: Well, although none of us got killed, we still made quite a bit of enemies from this.] Toast: Vincent Morre, for one. [We're also back where we started and possibly in a worse position than] Charity: The cast of Teletubbies. [before with the WB execs.] Loud: NO GOOD BLOOD-SUCKING EXECUTIVES! [If they wanted to get rid of us before,] Pule: They might kill us now. [they'll stop at nothing now. Plus, there's the haunting thought that] Charity: Kevin Costner is making a new movie. [when Gene recovers from falling off his house, he'll escape from jail to...finish what he started.] Loud: AND I WAS RIGHT! Charity: Loud, I wouldn't worry anymore. He is dead. Loud: I know, but this movie keeps reminding me of what happened next. [Pepper: Whoa, that's depressing,] Toast: And that's usually Charity's job. [real,] Pule: World. [but depressing. Lucky Bob: Yes now. Aka: Yeah, this is totally different from your usual cheerful self. Father Time: What can we do to make you happy again?] Loud: DON'T! I ALREADY GOT IT! (Hugs Charity again) [(A door knock is heard)] Toast: (as Jim Carrey) Cable Guy! [Hold on I'll get it.] Pule: Don't get it! It might be that guy from Hannibal! [(He opens the door) Hello? Gasp, well look who it is. Hey, look who's back!] Loud: WHAT? IF IT IS THE STRONG MOUSE FROM BEFORE, I AM GOING TO... [(Miss Info comes into the room)] Loud: OH, NEVER MIND. [Sammy: Miss Info, you're back! What happened?] Pule: I stay in the creaming booth for a whole decade. [Why were you there so long? Miss Info: Well I did lose an considerable amount of blood from the gun shots,] Charity: Not to mention millions of dollars from the insurance. [so the night I was taken in I got a blood transfusion. I stayed the next day to recover, then today I filled out papers] Toast: Including contracts to be in more movies. [and they let me out. (She goes over to Loud, who can only stare at her)] Loud: I love Charity, I love Charity, I love Charity... [Well Loud, I didn't die, are you happy to see me? Loud: Father Time, you asked me what you could do to make me happy again? Father Time: Yes?] Pule: (as Loud) don't bother. [Loud: Well the answer is staring right at me.] Toast: Dude, I thought Charity was always staring at you. Loud: SHE IS! MISS INFO IS JUST MY FRIEND. Charity: Yep. (My favorite H! couple kissed) [(He goes over and hugs Miss Info) I'm so glad you're alright. Miss Info: (Hugging him back) Shh, don't worry, it's all over.] Pule: Mommy's here. [(They break the hug)] Loud: WITH A HAMMER! [Well I assume you've had time to tell the others what happened. Loud: Yes I did, and as I said, I said very kind and choice words about you. Miss Info: Good, now it's my turn] Charity: To say kind and choice words about you. [to keep my end of the bargain.] Toast: Let Loud have Charity. (Charity giggles at this) [Loud: Is this really a good time? Miss Info: In one word, yes. (To others) Now as you know, there's the myth that] Pule: Godzilla is real. [Loud here is merely loud and nothing more.] Loud: (as The Raven) NEVERMORE! [But that's exactly what it is, a myth.] Toast: Dude, a what? Pule: Myth, myth. Charity: Yes? [Have any of you tried to prove that to yourselves? Nostradamus: Well Missy Information, we do know that he must have more personality than just his voice, but he yells so darn loud and so often that] Pule: (as Nostradamus) He keeps breaking my crystal ball. Shut Up! [we don't have any opportunities to prove it! Miss Info: Well if you did Nosferatu,] Loud: (as Nostadamus) I AM NOSTRADAMUS! I AM A PROPHECT, NOW A SEVERE VAMPIRE! SHUT UP! you'd find out what I did three days ago. But instead of going into a heartfelt speech,] Toast: I just make it into a movie. Charity: Though no one would watch it. [I wrote some examples down to prove that beyond his voice, Loud is a very sweet guy.] Charity: I always knew Loud is a sweet guy. (She kisses him on the cheek. Now Loud is doing the blushing game.) [(She gives Sammy a piece of paper and the rest crowd around to read it)] Toast: (as Sammy) Hey! This says I am a lunk-head! That wasn't nice! [Sammy: Hmm, he defended her from all of Gene's ruthless attacks on her intelligence. Father Time: He also cheered her up by driving] Loud: I DON'T OWN A CAR! [bad thoughts from her mind with positive thoughts.] Toast: (as Einstein) The negative is often annoyed by the positive. [Chit: And he overall helped her out through and through on the most difficult period of her life?] Toast: Dude, sick. [Gee, is all of this on the level?] Charity: Of Super Mario 64. [Miss Info: Yes it is, if it wasn't for him I probably would never have made it like I did. Fetch: Then how come we didn't hear about] Loud: THE NEW DEATHMATCH! [this side of him until now? Loud: (A bit nervous) Um, because I thought that if I did,] Pule: (as Loud) you wouldn't like me. [you'd say it was just an act to distract you from my voice. Sammy: What?] Loud: I SAID... Charity: Okay, Loud. Let it go. [No, of course not! Frankly with your voice we'd appreciate seeing any other side so we wouldn't have to hear it. Toast: Um, isn't that a bit mean, Sammy dude?] Toast: No, I mean Sammy idiot. [Loud: Well, no more.] Loud: OF THIS MOVIE! [Because of my inability to do anything else than yell on and off the show, it nearly got us all killed. From now on,] Pule: I'd be like Michael Jackson. [you'll be seeing a whole new side of me. Though I'll still be yelling since it's a hard habit to break,] Charity: Keep trying, Loud. [the side I showed to Miss Info is going to be displayed for all!] Loud: THOUGH I AM ONLY SHOWING MY LOVE SIDE FOR CHARITY! (Charity blushes) [And I'll start by stating that you should think of her the same way she wants you to think of me. Miss Info: Heh, now _I'm_] Pule: Peeved. [a little nervous and embarrassed. Loud: Don't be. I'll just say that though you don't have much smarts up here (points to his] Pule: I wouldn't. [head)] Pule: Phew. Charity: I think we overuse that joke. [you make for it down here. (Points to his heart) Sammy: Well on that note, now that everything's tied up,] Toast: Including Gene. [we can all get out of here] Loud: THAT IS WHAT WE ARE TRYING TO DO! [and go back to Burbank! (The others cheer and head out the door. Sammy, Loud, and Miss Info are the last ones out) Sammy: Oh that reminds me,] Pule: I got to prepared for the next movie. [what happened to Harry?] Charity: Hey, yeah. [I haven't heard from him since this all happened. Miss Info: Well, I saw him outside the hospital, he's okay, and he said that he's going over to the prison that's Gene's in tonight to,] Loud: TORTURE HIM! [as he said, put the final nail in the coffin of his sanity.] Toast: Dude, like he got any. [Sammy: Will we ever see again? Miss Info: He said if we ever return to this city, it's a guarantee we will. And he said that he'll be seeing us every morning, on TV. Loud: You know, we must have really made an impact] Charity: In that movie "The Toasty Histeria Picture Show". [on him if he did all that he did to help us. If our show made such a difference on this one guy, I think all our efforts will have been worthwhile. Sammy: Yes, but it's a shame we didn't do the same to millions more people. Miss Info: Let's not think about that for now, save that for when the execs call us.] Loud: INSULTS! [(They get to the front door. Sammy is the first to walk out) Loud: Right now I don't want to think about execs,] Loud: I WANT TO THINK ABOUT CHARITY. [I just want to get back to Burbank and count my] Pule: Money. [blessings for having such help and luck in this saga.] Charity: Not to mention love from me. [(Holds the door for Miss Info) After you, my friend. Miss Info: I was going to say] Toast: Another useless information. [this could be the start of a beautiful friendship, and it could be, but why ruin it with reusing a 58 year old line? (They walk out of the motel together)] Toast: Yeah, Loud. What were you two doing? Loud: WE WERE JUST TALKING! GEEZ, WILL YOU GUYS DROP IT?! BESIDES, I GOT CHARITY! Pule: I did, Charity did, Toast didn't. Toast: At least you aren't in this story! Pule: You can't hurt me with that line. I'm glad that I am not in this story. Toast: Bummer. [(We now dissolve to night. It is pouring rain as we see an ominous looking building.] Charity: Which is Chris Farley's house. [A lightning bolt illuminates] Loud: PIKACHU? [a sign reading "Long Beach Maximum Security Prison" Cut to a hall of prison cells, as Harry and another man carrying a TV walk down it) Harry: Thank you for arranging this, Mr. Anderson.] Loud: (snickers) OH? WHAT HARRY GOING TO DO? WATCH OUR SHOW FROM PRISON? Pule: Oh, and who's Mr. Anderson? [Anderson: Well, being the head of a prison of many convicted felons] Charity: Like Two-Face, The Joker, and Poison Ivy. [is really trying on my temper, and your former friend's marathon didn't help much. Harry: Yes, but even with that I wouldn't have chanced doing this if] Toast: He is dead. [he wasn't still in a hospital bed. Anderson: I see what you mean, from what you've said he's quite tricky.] Loud: THEY GOT RICHARD NIXON LOCKED UP IN THERE? [Harry: You'll be learning more and more] Charity: From a dummy. Toast: Buckle your safely belt. [about that the longer he's here, and let's hope] Pule: Jimmy Carter doesn't become president again. [he'll be here for a long long time.] Loud: SHUT UP! [(They then turn to a prison cell. Mr. Anderson opens it, and we now see Gene lying in a hospital bed. His left arm and leg are in a cast, but the rest of him looks better than when we last saw him)] Loud: YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIM NOW! OH WAIT, YOU CAN'T BECAUSE HE IS DEAD! [Gene: (Looking at Harry) Well, look who it is. Harry: Hello Gene, do you remember me?] Charity: (as letter from "Ghostwriter") I remember you. And soon the whole world will know who's who. [I ask this in case you suffered brain damage] Pule: Too late. [from the fall. Gene: Even if I did, it would be hard not to remember you. Harry: How are you feeling? Gene: I'd be better if I wasn't] Toast: Misguided and stupid. [in a hospital bed and in jail. Harry: Well you brought it on yourself, if you hadn't acted so crazy and deranged trying to kill us, maybe you wouldn't have ended up like this.] Pule: Charles Manson the doctor. [I tried to tell you the consequences of your actions, but you wouldn't listen. Gene: You know you can't keep me here forever.] Charity: So true. [Once I recover from my injuries, I'll find a way out of here and I'll finish the job I started.] Loud: AS AN EVIL SCIENTIST! [It's only a matter of time until] Toast: The new South Park episode is shown. [my mission and the world's redemption is complete. Harry: I know, but until then we want to finish our redemption and this is a good way to start. (Suddenly hooks come out of the bed and Gene's eyes are propped open.] Pule: Gross! [Cuffs also come around his free arm and leg. Nearby, Anderson puts the TV on a nearby table in front of the bed) Gene: What is this, a recreation of "A Clockwork Orange"?] Pule: I never seen that movie. Toast: Neither did I. Charity: Same here. Loud: DITTO! [Do I look like Malcolm McDowell to you? Who do you think you are,] Loud: (as Gene) ME?! [Stanley Kubrick?! Anderson: No, we just thought you probably never had time to really take a look at the "masterpiece"] Toast: From Disasterpiece Theater. [you created and showed to us for a whole day. Harry: So we went through your lab and came up with...the tape containing the entire 24 hour marathon!] Charity: Of Full House. [And we thought that you of all people deserved a second viewing. (He puts the tape in a VCR) Gene: No, not that! ANYTHING BUT... (a gag then goes around his mouth and he can't speak)] Loud: MAYBE THEN HE WILL STOP SPEAKING ABOUT ME! [Harry: Enjoy Gene. (He and Anderson walk out. Gene pulls a few muffled screams as he views the tape. We close up on Gene's horrified eyes as he screams one last time.] Loud: HA! HOW DID YOU ENJOY THAT, YOU JERK?! Charity: That's what you get for torturing my Loud! Toast: Dude, do we have to enjoy his torture? Pule: Hmmm...yes! Toast: Good! All: (laughs evilly at Gene's torture) [The screen fades to black and we cut to Slappy watching this on a TV) Slappy: Well, I gotta admit,] Toast: That is funny. [this was certainly better than that...Cat and Birdy...bunch of hooey...thingamabobber big something or other show.] Pule: She is making up words. [Skippy: But Aunt Slappy, I thought it was "The Cat and Bunny something or other show"] Charity: Do we even care? All: Nope! [Slappy: Whatever, at least this was better than it! (She turns and stares right at us)] Loud: AAAHHH!! SHE SEEN US! Toast: Run, dude! [And for the rest of you, you can now rejoice,] Pule: Gene is being tortured. [this story is over. Now go away, I need my beauty sleep!] Toast: Gah, likes she needs it. [(Looks in a mirror and it cracks) And from the looks of it, I'll need days of it.] All: (singing) That's Slappy! [(She goes to sleep as we fade to another overhead view of the prison. The narrator from before speaks)] Pule: (as narrator) Who's going to drive me home?! [Narrator: And so the cast of Histeria narrowly avoided death from the hands of their enemies. However, you may point out that] Charity: This story is very lame and could be avoided as possible. [they didn't really get a very happy ending, and that's because it would take one more encounte |