Script Re-Write
featuring, Bugs and Daffy
By Pietro Shakarian
(opens on the Warner lot, we go into an old trailer where Daffy Duck lives. Inside
Daffy has just fisnished writing a script to sell to Jack Warner.)
Daffy: This is gonna be great! My very own script! This detective story should sell!
(Yawns) Maybe I'll sell it to him after my nap!
(Daffy takes a nap on his bed. Bugs Bunny comes by and walks in (since Daffy's door is
open))
Bugs: Eh, what's up duck? (Finds Daffy asleep) Humm, he's asleep. I'll talk ta him later.
(Bugs is just about to leave when he notices Daffy's script.)
Bugs: Hello? What do we have here?
(Bugs looks at the script)
Bugs: Oh great another cornball movie! Dis calls for a script re-write!
(Bugs re-writes Daffy's story and then quietly slips out the door. Later, Daffy awakens
and takes the script to be shown to Jack Warner)
Daffy: This little black duck smells an Oscar comin' up!
(Daffy takes it to Jack Warner's office)
Daffy: Hiya Jack!
Jack: Hi Daffy!
Daffy: Guess what? I've got a real treat for you today! A script for Warner Brothers'
newest blockbuster!
Jack: Well, I uh.....
Daffy: You want me to read it now? Okay! (Clears throat) "The Great Turkey
Mystery" by Daffy "Dumas" Duck. Once upon a time there lived a very famous
detective by the name of "Duck Twacy!"
(We fade into "Duck Twacy's" office ("Duck Twacy" is played by Daffy.)
Just then Tom Turkey walks in.)
Tom: Hide me! Hide me! He's after me! He's gonna kill me!
"Duck Twacy": Pull your self together Tom! Snap out of it! Who's after ya?
Tom: I can't tell you or it's curatins! Curtains! Do you hear? Curtains! Here.
(Tom hands "Duck" some curtains)
Daffy: Say I don't remember writing that. Oh well. So "Duck Twacy" went in
search of the villian who was after that over-stuffed turkey.
(We fade to the streets of "New York" where "Duck" searches for clues.
"Duck" arrives at the villians' hide out - by giant flashing neon lights saying
"The Villians Hideout." "Duck" enters and searches the place. Then he
starts walking on the wall until he comes to the ceciling which he walks on too.)
"Duck": Nothing's impossible ta "Duck Twacy!"
(Soon duck finds a room where he sees Rocky and Mugsy.)
Rocky: We gotta soitch all of da town, Mugsy.
Mugsy: Gee Rocky, duh, I wish I was smart like you!
Daffy: Then "Duck" came over to them and said.....
"Duck": Be vewy, vewy quiet I'm hunting wabbits! Hehehehe!
Daffy: I don't remember typing that either. Oh well, so then Rocky said.......
Rocky: Okay, duck ya got 24 hours ta rub out dat toikey.
"Duck": Sure boss, I'll plug him faster than you can say "Jack
Robinson!"
Daffy: Say, wait a second! "Duck Twacy's" not on the bad guys' side. Oh well,
I'm sure it was a simple typo. So then duck was walking down the street when he saw
"Foxy?"
Foxy: Hey pal, what do ya know?
"Duck": I am the famous "Duck Twacy!"
Foxy: Oh, "Duck Twacy," eh? Well there's a guy on "6 7/8 ACME street"
who wants ta see ya!
"Duck": Well, uh, OK, but I usually don't take advice from strangers, especially
black and white 30s cartoon foxes!
Foxy: Don't worry about it!
Daffy: Hey! What's goin' on here? I don't remember writing this either. Anyway, "Duck
Twacy" went there and saw a space craft. And then he saw..............500 Bugs
Bunnies?
Bugs Bunnies: Eh, what's up duck?
"Duck": Ahhhhhhhhh!
Daffy: "Duck" runs back to his office, hides under his bed, and the price of
food stuff sky rockets? And then the rabbits chased him and chased him, until
"Duck" finally met the leader, "Bugs Bunny."
"Duck": Bugs! How are ya doin' this?
(Bugs runs to a type writer)
Bugs: I'm multiplyin' doc! See! I'm multiplyin'!
Daffy: THE END? Hey! I didn't write this junk!
Jack: Junk? It's EXCELLENT, FANTASIC, GREAT, WONDERFUL, UNBELIVEABLE! And it's good too!
(Daffy faints but then later wakes up and sees Bugs)
Bugs: Eh, what's duck? Guess who re-wrote yer script?
Daffy: Who?
Bugs: Me.
(Daffy shakes Bugs' hand)
Daffy: Thanks allot chum, now I'm gonna win an Oscar!
Bugs: But didn't Jack Warner......
Daffy: HE LOVED IT!
(Daffy walks away, then Bugs goes to his trailer and starts writing a script).
Bugs: If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em!
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
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