-The Pen Mightier Than The Sword-

Story ©Aron Shay 2002

MIB The Animated Series is © Adelaide Productions, Columbia, and aired on Kids WB.

This is based off the MIB cartoon from Kids WB and is set after the first episode of Season 4. When season 4 started and I learned that the characters of X and Zeeltor were added, I didn’t know what to think, but now I don’t know what we’d do without them. This fiction is a weird little thing that originated from a joke. Fan Fictions from the group I’m in, manage to target Agent Elle. For a laugh--- I named the villain the ‘FannFik’, and it goes after our Elle for pretty much no reason at all. The end makes you wonder though---

-The Pen Mightier Than The Sword-

-----------------------------

Ask someone if they believe, and they may question you. Believe what? Believe in… them? Aliens? They laugh. Aliens don’t exist, right? Aliens are a supposed myth… a legend, only believed by those we could deem weird--- possibly… crazy.

Why these ‘aliens’ do what they do, is beyond us. Why do they visit particular people, cause trouble for others, and still manage to ‘elude’ us.

When aliens are real, and live among us… what do THEY fear? Is there a higher level of unknown life form? Do they ponder THEIR myths--- their legends? What is it that could possibly be a nonexistent, laughable life form to some aliens--- real to others, who fear them as much as the next paranormal enthusiast from Earth. So real--- so able to strike fear into the hearts of others, that those who fear would do whatever they could to get out of the path of these things---especially when they have a destructive streak.

When the aliens are like us… what is Alien to them?

Aliens of Aliens. Men In Black of Men In Black.

-The sun rose over New York City and brought forth yet another day. It was summer and the entire city bustled with tourists, and travelers and so forth. These travelers came from all across the globe. Others--- came from even farther away.

The Men In Black kept an unblinking eye and an unending watch over the little blue planet conveniently located in the Milky Way. The planet had, from the start, been blessed. A rock in the middle of nowhere happened by chance to be in the right location, and soon—life sprung forth. This of course was ancient history. Everyone knew this… even… It.

It loomed out in space like a nightmare. It was legend. It was myth. Almost like the Men In Black were. It struck random and odd targets with unmatched fury. It was It. Bringer of terror. Destroyer of life… including those life forms capable of complicated thought. It had no conscious regret for what it did. Once it was after someone--- or something, nothing could get in it’s way and it would take everything out in it’s wake. Nothing could ever be done to stop its path of destruction. There was never any reason for what it did. One instant, it could be in the twelfth nebula of Kardar, the next, it could hop, skip and jump to the vicinity of Loyta. Today though… it would head towards a different target of sorts. One that would never see it coming.

The Milky Way… the location of planet Earth.

Zed sat at his desk in the center of MIB headquarters. His office was perched high above the bustle of alien immigration to Earth. Still--- it was never quiet for the man in charge of protecting the planet. A paper pusher came through and handed Zed a file before he left. Zed looked it over, and put it with the others. He picked up a folder and was about to read that when the communicator screen on his desk beeped. Zed pressed a button, and the familiar face of Agent Kay filled the screen.

"Have any information for us on the stolen ship?" asked Kay. "We’ve been through this area twice and found nothing. Jeebs also isn’t much of a help today." Said Kay as he wiped some residual green goo off his jacket. In the background, Zed could hear Jeebs and Agent Jay arguing about work ethics and bullying aliens on Earth. Jay pointed out that rules only protected HONEST Aliens on Earth. Jeebs shut his mouth before he earned himself a deportation.

"Kay, I’ve looked over some files and there’s not much on the suspect. We may be flying blind save for some sketchy eyewitness reports to the crime."

"And those would be?"

"None."

"Very funny, Zed." Said Kay.

"I’m serious. The ship’s owner didn’t even see it happen. One thing’s on our side though. We’ve got the sky shield blocked for unauthorized departure and the owner has provided us with the beacon signal codes. As soon as that ship makes a serious move, we can take it down and get this over with." Finished Zed. Jay walked over.

"Dude’s not talking." Said Jay. In the background, Jeebs yelled.

"I SAID I’LL TELL YOU IF I GET AN OFFER FOR A HOT SHIP!" yelled the alien. "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS COME TO ME!?" he yelled. Kay turned around.

"Because you always manage to have a connection to these sorts of things." Said Kay bluntly. Kay turned back to the communicator. "Have Elle and X turned up anything?" he asked.

"Nothing yet. I have them checking out the vicinity where the ship was last seen. They’re also going to go check up with some of the ship holding areas for any unlicensed vehicle admittance."

"Okay." Said Kay. "We’ll head on over in that direction."

"I don’t know why they think they can get off the planet with a stolen ship like that." Said Elle as she looked over a paper. Her reckless partner drove the boxy SUV.

"I don’t know why humans think they can get away with making all those stupid soap operas." Said X as he jammed the vehicle’s horn and narrowly missed getting into an accident. X rolled down the window of the SUV and yelled. "STUPID HUMAN! OPEN YOUR BEADY LITTLE EYES!!" he yelled as he narrowly missed getting them into yet another fender bender. It was way too hot for this. X hated summer on Earth in New York. His human suit was often sticky and just added insulation. It drove him mad. That, coupled with the extra cars on the road and the slow traffic was enough to really test the alien’s patience.

"Watch where you’re GOIIINGGGGG!!!!!" yelled Elle as she took the wheel from the alien and whipped the SUV around into the next lane.

"STUPID HUMAN DRIVERS!" yelled X as he shook his fist. Elle drove. X turned around and took the wheel back. "I swear, back on my planet, NO ONE DRIVES LIKE THIS!" he yelled.

"If you keep this up, you won’t live to see your planet again!" yelled Elle as she fumbled for the papers she dropped. "EVEN WORSE--- YOU’LL MANGLE US BOTH!"

X brought the SUV around to the main gate. The structure looked like any top secret power plant just outside the city, but beneath it’s façade, there was a massive temporary storage for intergalactic transport ships. Extraterrestrial Visitors granted clearance often left the vehicles for safe keeping in this interplanetary parking garage. The Agent in security cleared them and they pulled in and parked the SUV.

"Let’s find this stupid ship and LEAVE!" yelled X as he got out of the SUV. Elle closed her door.

"Watch the temper." Said Elle. "Don’t want you dropping from stress."

The Agents got a good look at the giant hangar. Ships lined the endless runway. Elle started laughing. "Must be hard to remember where you park!" she said. X shot her a grim look.

"Yeah whatever." He said as he passed her and headed to the main office. Inside, they were greeted with some Men In Black who kept an eye over the entire underground ship hangar.

"We got the report from Zed." Said one agent. "We’ve kept an eye on all incoming and outgoing crafts and checked the recent records and we’ve found nothing yet, but we’re keeping a sharp eye out for the stolen craft."

"There’s no trace of it from the original location of theft. The ship was actually in a holding area outside Headquarters on the tarmac when it was stolen and we’re not totally sure of where it went or who stole it. It’s worthless because they won’t be able to get it off the planet." Said Elle.

"I know what you mean." Said the agent. What gets me is that they actually try to steal these things and there’s no way they can really get away."

"So there’s been nothing suspicious around here lately?" asked X.

"No… nothing yet." Said the agent.

Down the endless paved storage area… a small hovercraft awaited clearance for cloaked takeoff. It was a standard procedure… standard for legal vehicles. Cloaked takeoff consisted of standard earth camouflage. Driving off with the spacecraft disguised as a specified Earth vehicle. A gremlin.

The alien sat behind the… "Wheel" of the gremlin. It was an odd vehicle and he nervously tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. His human suit was bothering him and he wanted off the planet and fast. He knew of the trouble approaching. Someone on the planet had randomly been marked by IT. The alien knew it wasn’t him--- but he had seen past destruction and didn’t want to be anywhere near the solar system when It arrived. It was what he was paranoid of. The agents and crew of the station were checking through the usual ground departures. An agent waved the gremlin ahead and began to look over paperwork. The Alien handed the agent some papers nervously. He hoped the papers were good for go. He had paid a lot for them and gotten them from another alien on Earth who dealt in this kind of thing.

"AT THIS RATE---" began X. "We could be looking FOREVER for ONE CRIMINAL!"

"And it’s an important one too. They’re ALL IMPORTANT, so quit whining and focus on the case at hand." Said Elle.

"When I find the perp, I’m going to make him wish he hadn’t stolen that craft!"---

---"Oh, I wish I hadn’t stolen THIS craft!" thought the alien to himself. The agent was looking over the paper and had a suspicious look on his face. The agent looked at the temp resident card and back at the driver. The alien smiled nervously. The agent ran the card under the scanner and an alien picture popped up. Things checked out.

"Thank you for your compliance." Said the agent as he handed the paperwork back to the alien. "It’s busy out there this time of year, so obey human traffic rules and keep the vehicle cloaked at all times."

"Will do!" said the alien happily. He had pulled it off. He would get off this planet much easier than he had gotten on. He had traveled a great distance to get away from the path of It, and perhaps blend in to the planet and live. Things hadn’t worked out, and his paranoia nightmares were coming true. He had left a system far away to stay away from It. He was one of those more high-strung aliens who thought bad luck followed him wherever he went. Perhaps he was right. He was now willing to do anything to get away from It now… and that included stealing a small spacecraft.

Agent X was getting fed up with this.

"Let’s GO!" he yelled. He wanted to check out the area. Elle grumbled as she got into the SUV and X jammed it into reverse and then brought it around and drove down the runnel runway.

X drove the vehicle fast and finally got to the exit of the place. He waited there. He had managed to pull up behind a shiny white gremlin. Elle continued to look over paperwork. X sat there and something hit him. "What was the description of the small craft in cloaked mode??" he demanded from Elle.

"Small… white…" she listed.

"A Small White Demon??" X interrupted.

"NO!" yelled Elle. "A gremlin." She finished. She went back to reading something. X rolled the window down and yelled at the agents who were letting the car through.

"STOP THAT CAR!" he roared. The Alien driver of the gremlin panicked and floored it, getting past the last gates. X jammed the vehicle in gear and floored it. The agents in security jolted back to avoid being hit.

He knew he was a dead cookie now. He was driving a craft he didn’t really know how to drive, and to boot---- it was in cloaked mode. This meant it was stuck as a little white gremlin, instead of the space travelling craft it really was.

Agent Kay drove the LTD as Zed filled them in on a report through the communicator. He was about to read something when his communicator beeped. Zed pressed a button and Elle’s face filled the small window that had just popped up on the screen.

"I think we’ve found our car thief!" she said.

"Kay…" said Zed. He didn’t need to finish.

"We’re on it." said Kay. He closed the connection and brought up the SUV on the communicator. "Where’s the perp headed?" asked Kay.

"He’s just ducking through traffic now, but it looks like he’s headed in the direction of central park." Said Elle. Kay and Jay could hear Agent X complaining about the other drivers on the road.

"MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!" yelled X out the window. The little gremlin wove through lanes of traffic with a little more ease than the SUV. This was New York… and with all these cars, things were getting hard. Elle turned back to the communicator.

"Pretty fast for a little Gremlin."

"No--- not a Gremlin…" said Kay. " A warp speed cruiser."

"WELL HE’S NOT GETTING AWAY FROM ME!" yelled X. He floored the gas pedal and the SUV roared as it got closer to the white gremlin. The alien driver looked into the rear mirror and saw a very angry MIB agent. He didn’t know what to do now.

Kay had brought up the screen map with the SUV on it. A little green dot wove its way through the streets.

"And you say I’M a threat behind the wheel? X is running a demolition derby!"

"And he’s keeping up with a criminal, sport. He has a reason to drive like that." Said Kay. Jay grumbled as Kay pulled the wheel around and they began to approach the vicinity of the chase. They went down a one-way street and pulled to a stop at the intersection. "They’re going to be coming down here any…. Second……. Now….." said Kay as they saw a little white car fly past the intersection. Right behind it was the SUV. "Bingo." Said Kay, and he floored it and tore out into traffic. Jay was starting to criticize his title as worst driver ever. At the rate both Kay and X were going, they were going to get into an accident.

Elle looked back and saw the LTD. She turned to the communication screen.

"Nice of you boys to join us." She said.

"Had to stop for coffee." Said Kay as he dodged a station wagon.

"What’s the plan?" asked Elle. "X here is intent on bringing this one down and doing it now." She added as X pounded the vehicle’s horn.

"Some case of Road rage!" Said Jay over the communicator.

"How about we show our speed demon the sights?" asked Kay.

"The park?" asked Jay.

"Where else do you take a tourist in the summer?"

Kay floored it and the LTD pulled around and came to the side of the Gremlin. "Follow my lead." Said Kay over the communicator. "Let’s show him the park." He said as he Pulled the LTD closer to the gremlin.

Inside the little car, the alien didn’t know what to do. He looked to the side and saw a large black car pressing closer and closer.

"They’re trying to kill me!" he yelped. He pulled to the left. Exactly what Kay wanted to see.

"Easy as Pie." Said Kay. X grumbled.

"Showoff." He said. They followed the little car down to the park.

"We’re going to have to play this easy." Said Elle. "Lot of tourists here today."

"No problem." Said Kay. "We’ll end this quickly."

"Well no matter what, there’s gonna be some memory erasing this afternoon!" said Jay as they sped past a tree. They were now in a back area of the park. The gremlin pulled down footpaths as people scrambled to get out of the way. Agent Kay reached for a panel in the dashboard of the LTD and opened it.

"Zeeltor made some recent additions to the LTD for us." He said as he found a flashing green button. He pressed it and closed the panel. Kay turned to the communicator. "You might want to back off or the SUV’s engine will be fried…" he said. X wanted to ignore him. He wanted to do this one himself.

"X, Zeeltor’s got some new technology and I doubt you want to come in contact with it." Said Elle. X grumbled and pulled back. The LTD moved in closer.

"He won’t know what hit him." Said Kay as he carefully brought the LTD up to the gremlin and hit the back of the little car with the bumper of the LTD. On doing so, a charge of green electricity bolted from the bumper of the LTD and surged through the little trans-morphed gremlin. The alien behind the wheel looked down at the gauges and realized--- the car was dead. He couldn’t even change it back to it’s previous form. People in the park continued to run as the little car came over a small hill and slowed, stopping dead in it’s tracks. Kay deactivated the green button and both MIB vehicles came to a halt at the gremlin.

"Okay, it’s MY TURN NOW!" yelled an angry X as he saw the alien in human disguise make a run for it. Rather than discharge a weapon in the area, he was going to take this one down the old fashioned way. The alien turned and saw the man in black running after him and yelped. He tried to out run him but failed. X tackled the alien like a football player in a game and the two came to a stop on the grass. X pulled out a sidearm and aimed it at the alien.

"DON’T SHOOT ME!" cried the alien.

"DON’T MAKE A MOVE AND I WON’T HAVE TO!" yelled X. The other agents came running. X hauled the alien up and started dragging him back to the LTD.

"Well--- that’s taken care of but we have a bunch of tourists to worry about now. Them and a dead gremlin car."

"Cleanup will be here in a minute, slick." Said Kay. They looked at X hauling the alien off to the car. The alien was ranting.

"LET ME OUTTA HERE!" he kept yelling.

"Dude must not like tourists." Said Jay. Kay thought otherwise. He had seen something faintly like this before. Jay did too… but wouldn’t be likely to remember it. They turned as they saw a MIB cleanup crew pull down a footpath. Some agents stood by to keep people from calling the police.

A truck pulled up and some agents got out.

"Is this all there is?" asked one. Kay nodded.

"Stalled out the vehicle. Be careful, it’s a stolen warp speed cruiser in cloaked mode." He said. "We’ll bring it in and check it out for evidence before we give it back to the owner." The agents nodded and one waved another clean up crew member over. He sent the agent to the dash of the truck. The agent pressed a yellow button and the truck opened up and transformed into a tow truck. The bed of the truck came down and the agents hooked up the gremlin. The car was pulled up and locked into place and the bed returned to it’s locked position. It was like any ordinary flatbed-towing vehicle, and with a normal car like a gremlin on it, no one would suspect it was anything more. Kay walked around and got everyone’s attention. The agents all put sunglasses on. "Okay everyone, nothing more than a stray parks and rec. vehicle. That’s all--- and it’s all taken care of." He said. "Now if you’ll just look here---" he said as everyone looked. Kay pressed the button and a brilliant flash of light filled the air.

"Any motive for this?" asked Zed as he looked over a report from the incident. The agents sat in chairs in the office.

"He won’t say anything. He just wants out of here." Said Jay.

"That’s what they ALL want." Laughed Zed. "He’s going to get out of here because of the stunt he pulled and the fact he was on this planet illegally and tried to leave illegally."

"Violation of standard planetary codes results in immediate deportation." Said Kay. "Maybe he’ll tell us why he did this."

"We’d be lucky if he can get anything out of him. He’s anxious to leave." Said Zed.

"That may be a bad thing." Said Kay. Zeeltor walked in with some paperwork and some things from the car.

"Exactly as I had hoped, the electrical short system used today stopped the car dead in it’s tracks temporarily. No damage was done to the vehicle!" he said. "And we also have some interesting things from the car." He added. He handed Zed the papers.

"These look like resident alien papers." Said Zed.

"Exactly!" said Zeeltor. "They’re forgeries. They’re half-decent too. That’s why the alien was able to get the craft into the storage hangar without any trouble. Its also why he almost got away scott free too. He fooled the security with the fake paperwork and titles of spacecraft ownership."

"Must have connections." Said Jay.

"No…" said Elle. "I bet he paid a high price for these forgeries… and I think the alien might be willing to clue us in to this." She added.

The agents went downstairs to speak with the alien before deportation. He had taken his human mask off and nervously paced around his cell. He wanted off this planet, and perhaps an all-expense paid trip from the MIB wasn’t so bad. The alien looked up as two guards turned off the energy field and brought him down to a room.

He was brought in and found the MIB agents there.

"Would you care to tell us why you stole a warp speed cruiser?" asked Zed. The alien still didn’t want to answer really.

"I just wanted to leave this planet."

"Okay… and would you mind telling me where you got these false papers?" he asked.

"Will I get kicked off the planet for telling you?"

"You’re already going to be sent off on the next ship for being on this planet without legal documentation."

"So either way, I’m out of here?" asked the alien nervously. Zed nodded.

"Okay then…" the alien said, as if getting sent away from this planet was a bad thing. He didn’t want them to suspect he was actually happy about leaving. They’d be more opt to keep him locked up on the planet… when It came. "I bought them from someone on this planet."

"Anyone in particular?" asked Kay.

"I bet I can guess." Joked Jay.

"He owns a shop downtown…" started the alien Jay cracked up.

"Yep--- it’s who I was thinking of!" he said.

"The name is Jeebs." Said the alien.

"Well--- it looks like we’ll be paying our friend a little visit." Said Elle. X grumbled.

"Does he EVER quit? He keeps doing this and we keep going after him. Why isn’t HE deported??" asked X.

"Because he makes it easy to track down a large portion of criminals really." Said Kay. "Nearly all of them find their way to do business with him."

"And we nab them through him." Said Jay. Zed turned to the alien.

"What service did he provide?"

"He provided me with the resident alien card and the paperwork for the vehicle."

The MIB now had to go after Jeebs.

The LTD pulled up in front of the pawnshop and Agents Kay and Jay got out. The stepped in the door, and immediately, Jeebs knew he was in for some trouble. He came to the desk and sighed.

"Don’t you two have any better things to do than bother me??" he complained.

"Well, we nabbed one and he led us to you, my friend." Said Jay.

"The alien we picked up today says he got his illegal papers from you, Jeebs. Don’t tell me you’re now in the business of fraudulent paperwork."

"Fine then, I’m not." Said Jeebs.

"Don’t lie either." Said Jay. "You’re an awful liar."

"Gotta do things to make a living here!" complained Jeebs.

"It can be honest work, Jeebs. Lots of other aliens run an honest business."

"Well there you go…" said Jeebs. "Someone’s gotta be unhonest."

"Not funny, J-man" said Jay.

"Can’t blame a guy for trying, huh?"

"Yeah, we can." Said Jay.

"Where’s the technology?" asked Kay. Jeebs grumbled as he pulled a case out from behind the counter and pushed it across the top of the counter. Kay opened it up and found everything one could want to make fake papers and identification for use on Planet Earth. Kay shook his head. "Jeebs, Jeebs, Jeebs. Where DO you get this stuff?" he asked.

"IM INNOCENT ON THAT ONE!" he yelled. "Someone dumped this off on me and I didn’t even know what was inside because it took me three days to open the case."

"And it’s going to take a day to close it." said as he closed the case and headed out to the LTD to put it in the trunk. Jeebs grumbled as Jay left with Kay. He smiled as soon as they were gone. They had gotten a hold of the broken one. He had another working one in the back room and he figured he’d wait a while before making false identification for extraterrestrial use on Earth. He also made a note to tell aliens no matter what, NOT to say where they got their papers.

Back at Headquarters, Elle was working on some paperwork with X. Kay and Jay entered Zed’s office.

"Here we go, Z-man!" said Jay. Jay had been calling people that all day. He placed the case down on the desk and Zed looked up from a report.

"We confiscated what Jeebs was using to make false papers."

"Okay, take that down to classification and storage. Can’t let one of these fall into the wrong hands. Who knows what havoc would be done on this planet." He said.

Out in space, Havoc indeed headed towards Earth. It was untraceable and not even the MIB would see it coming.

It was It. It was the FannFik, and it had picked a target on a whim. And that target was one of the Men In Black.

The FannFik was a life form that randomly preyed upon other life forms. The thing about the FannFik was that it consisted of high concentrations of energy. Thought is itself composed of energy and it was entirely composed of energy and it could even sometimes take the form of physical shapes.

"I don’t know why this stuff happens." Said Elle as Kay and Jay came up. Elle looked up. "Fake ID’s---- now what." She said when Kay opened the case.

"Jeebs obtained this from an unknown source, and he had been making and selling false papers with it."

"Great--- that means there could be hundreds more like the one we dealt with today--- ROAMING THE PLANET!" complained X.

"And it’s our job to find them and take care of them." said Kay.

"I’d like to TAKE CARE of some of them." said X. He was glad to be back in the air-conditioned Headquarters. His human disguise made life unbearable in the summer and it would figure that most the petty criminals would strike in the summer.

That evening… a deportation ship left. The ship would leave the immediate vicinity of Earth’s orbit and drop off it’s passengers at a crossroads of the galaxy. The alien that had stolen the warp speed cruiser to get away from Earth happily watched the blue planet disappear behind them. He was more at ease now, knowing he wouldn’t be anywhere near the FannFik when it came to Earth.

The alien was one of the few believers that something like the FannFik existed. They were like humans who believed in aliens and the paranormal. It was laughable and indeed, they had gotten laughed at. He always had a gut feeling that something bad would happen and that it would be the FannFik. He was lucky. He was now leaving the planet.

Night fell across the New York City area of the planet and the stars poked through the atmosphere. The MIB kept a watchful eye on the planet. They could track almost everything. ALMOST everything. They failed to track the entity as it entered the atmosphere. Under cover of nightfall… it entered Earth and New York City… even though it didn’t need any cover. It soon found itself looking for what it was after.

Agent Elle slept somewhat peacefully. Strange dreams ran their course through her mind. As if being a MIB wasn’t strange enough. Elle had to find out why Agent Jay and the worm aliens were building a giant statue of liberty out of playing cards in the middle of Headquarters.

Agent X wandered endlessly around New York City in his sleep, driving. It was a nightmare that plagued him this evening. The air was hot and sticky with humidity--- and X found he couldn’t get his human mask off. On top of that--- it was all a perpetual traffic jam in rush hour and the SUV’s air conditioner was broken.

Agent Jay was having the darndest time getting paperwork to it’s destination. He was walking around Headquarters in search of everything--- but it was all backwards. To top it off, Headquarters was upside-down. Jay turned over in his sleep and nearly fell out of bed as he still looked for Zed’s upside-down office.

Kay found himself walking down a dark hallway. He knew he was looking for something--- but didn’t know what it was. He didn’t know what it looked like. He looked at the blaster he carried and hoped it would be enough to stop what he was after. Kay heard something faintly and turned around. He walked down a side hallway and carefully turned a corner. He could have sworn he heard something. He turned around again and something blue filled his vision. He was about to fire when the sound of his MIB issue alarm clock woke him up.

Kay jolted awake and looked around. The blue light was gone and the room was dark. The morning was approaching.

The agents filtered through the coffee room and picked up cups of coffee and headed up to Zed’s office. Zed looked up as they came in.

"Agents, despite the seizure of the device that makes false documents, we’ve gotten an anonymous report…"

"From a particular pug?" asked Jay.

"Yes--- the informant HAPPENS to be a pug…" said Zed. "Well he says that Jeebs has ANOTHER one of these devices and has been using them."

"Doesn’t he ever get a clue?" asked X.

"Apparently not." Said Zed.

"It’s the same old thing as usual." Said Elle, commenting on the agenda.

"If I may, I’d like to check up on this one." Said X. "I’ll make sure he doesn’t budge all summer!"

"If you think you can talk some sense into him, it’s fine by me." said Zed. Elle shook her head.

"…Or beat some sense into him." She said.

"Hey, I don’t question your human work methods."

The FannFik crept around and found it’s way inside MIB Headquarters. It slowly made it’s way around and stumbled upon a computer terminal. The FannFik sensed the energy running through the computer and decided to absorb the energy. On doing so… it tore through millions of files and folders within the complicated computer system. One particular file came to light and the FannFik decided to morph into a more solid state… and took the form of the subject highlighted in the file.

Agent Elle took it upon herself to drive this time. Agent X was way too stressed out in the summer humidity to drive. He would snap at the drop of a hat--- and the backup of traffic.

Elle parked the SUV and both agents got out. They entered the pawnshop and the bright dingle of the brass doorbell informed Jeebs he had a customer. He came out from the back.

"Goooodd day, how can I help… YOU!??" he blurted out finally. "Didn’t you come here yesterday and bother me??" he continued.

"That was Agents Kay and Jay, Jeebs." Said Elle. "We’ve got word that you’re still pulling the same stunts as yesterday too."

"Now WHO would go spreading lies like that around??" asked Jeebs innocently.

"Quit stalling--- WHERE IS IT!?" demanded X.

"Where’s what?"

"THE OTHER FALSE DOCUMENT CREATOR??"

"The what?" asked Jeebs. X got angry and picked up Jeebs by his shirt and held him high in the air.

"WHERE!?" demanded X. Jeebs yelled.

"AHHH! PUT ME DOWN! JUST PUT ME DOWN!" Elle was tired of this.

"Tell us where the device is." She said. Jeebs continued.

"JUST PUT ME DOWN!!" he said. Elle sighed.

"Put him down, X." she said. X grumbled as he let the alien fall. Jeebs scrambled to his feet.

"I ought to report you!" said Jeebs.

"To who--- Zed? I’m sure he’ll love to hear about your obstruction of taking care of criminal activity." Said X. Jeebs was about to protest when Elle cut in.

"Just hand it over and we can get out of your way. You KNOW this is the only reason why we’re here." She said. Jeebs grumbled as he went out back and carried out the last device he had for making false papers. It had brought him a nice chunk of change but the MIB were keen to his work and he now had to give it up. He went and got the case and handed it to them.

"You should go and bother OTHER people!" complained Jeebs. "Why don’t you go and bug Frank??"

"Because he hasn’t dealt in stolen or illegal goods lately." Said Elle. The two agents turned around and left, soon to face the backed up traffic.

At headquarters… a dark form moved through the halls. It was silent.

Agent U struggled to carry a stack of paperwork down to filing. He had gotten hit with a load of triplicate copies that were required for multiple department sorting. As he made his way down the hall… he saw a form in the shadowy distance. As he continued, the form became more clear. Agent U couldn’t believe his eyes. He nearly dropped the papers he was carrying.

It was Alpha.

Agent U froze. Alpha was silent. He wore a black suit and moved forward towards the agent with the paper.

"A-A-A-Alpha!" stuttered U as he dropped the papers and turned to run down the hall. He looked back and saw Alpha gone. U looked forward and stopped dead in his tracks, as Alpha appeared before him… still silent. Alpha raised a hand and placed it on U’s shoulder and there was a sizzle of blue electricity. Agent U let out a pained yell and collapsed to the floor. Alpha remained silent as he looked down on the agent. Looking up, Alpha morphed. It was no longer Alpha. It was now Agent U. The fake Agent U picked up the papers and headed down the hall, leaving the real one there on the floor.

Agents Elle and X returned to Headquarters to find Kay and Jay in the lab looking over some strange reports that had come in.

"Good day, Agents!" said Zeeltor. "Do check this out!" he said as he handed them some reports. "Last night one of my new sensors picked up a rather large flux in the planet’s background electrical charge!"

"Yeah--- everyone on the planet ran their socks on the living room rug and sparked each other." Joked Jay.

"No!" said Zeeltor. "I’ve planned an experiment for that later this month. I’m talking about a large flux that created a spike right here, in the middle of the night!"

"A whole lot of static cling at the Laundromat??" asked Jay.

"I’m talking a whole new life form!" said Zeeltor. "That’s the best I can come up with now."

"If it’s a life form, we would have seen it by now, especially with our tracking and scanning devices around the globe." Said Kay.

"Not if it isn’t really there." Said Zeeltor.

"Okay, you lost me…" said Jay. "Going after an alien that’s not even there. Okay--- I’m going to get some coffee, you guys tell me when you’ve stopped being crazy." He said as he headed out the door. Elle caught his arm.

"Hold it right there, you’re going to stay and listen to this one, unlike the little lecture on how to properly apprehend Slimy Tinavs."

"I can’t help it if they’re---slimy!" said Jay. "And besides, ONLY TWO got away and frightened everyone on Broadway!"

"Exactly." Said Elle. "Zed won’t want another one of those incidents for some time."

"Fine! But when we can’t find aliens that don’t exist, don’t complain to me!" he said.

"Agent Jay, they exist--- they just may be hard, if not impossible to locate." Said Zeeltor.

"Great… in all of Earth--- WHERE are we going to start?" questioned Jay.

Agent U, rather, the FAKE Agent U made his way down the hall. His path soon brought him past the lab. He paused as soon as he caught sight of who was inside the door.

"Hopefully I can break this information down farther today and work on a tracking device that would be sufficient for these types of readings." Said Zeeltor.

Fake Agent U looked around at the agents and saw what he was after.

"Zed will want to know what that was last night as soon as possible." Said Elle. The Fake Agent U’s eyes narrowed. He had found his target. The target was completely random--- and it was Agent Elle.

"Maybe what happened with the vehicle theft is linked to this energy thing."

"It might, but we can’t be sure." Said Zeeltor. "Speaking of car theft--- did that new electrical disrupter work?" he asked. Elle laughed.

"Well my partner didn’t work, but that car bumper did!" joked Elle at how little all of that crazy driving accomplished. The Fake Agent U heard this and turned on down the hall. They all missed seeing the agent. They were still talking. Zeeltor turned to Kay.

"It worked like a charm." Said Kay. "You should install one on the SUV too." He said.

"I will get to work on that." Said Zeeltor. "In the mean time, I have been at work on a smaller, portable version, perfect for doing a lot of damage when you don’t have the LTD with you." He said. He held up a pen. "Here is a portable electrical disrupter… perfect for quick work of systems computers, vehicles, and anything else like that. It would also be a great bug zapper if it were a bit larger." He said. He pulled some more of them out of his pocket and handed one to each of the agents.

"As long as this isn’t as easy to do damage with as the Pintonian Particle Beam was…" said Jay. The agents put the electrical disrupters in their jacket pockets. Elle’s communicator beeped. She opened it up and found Zed on the other end.

"I’m going to need you, X, Kay and Jay in my office soon. Zeeltor should come too because I want the heads up on that occurrence last night." Said Zed.

"Will do." Said Elle. She turned to X. "C’mon, X. Zed needs us all upstairs

"Fine, let me get some coffee first." Said X. Zeeltor, Kay and Jay headed for the elevator to the main floor and Zed’s office, while Elle and X headed down the hall in the direction of one of the coffee rooms.

Elle and X made their way down the darker inner hall when they saw something at the end of it.

"What the---" started Elle. The two ran to the end of the hall and found Agent U on the floor. Unconscious. "What happened??" questioned Elle. She looked around. Neither her or X saw anything suspicious. They tried to wake Agent U up, but found they couldn’t. Elle opened her communicator. Zed answered it, and Elle found that Kay, Jay and Zeeltor were already in his office.

"Zed---" said Elle. "Something’s wrong---" she said.

"What?" asked Zed.

"Agent U--- we found him on the floor down sub hall twelve. He’s unconscious."

"What!?" asked Zed. X took the communicator.

"Agent U’s down here and he’s out cold." Said X. Zed turned to the agents in his office, and then back at the communicator.

"I’m sending Zeeltor and the agents down." He said.

A minute later, Kay, Jay and Zeeltor came down the hall. Zeeltor pulled a scanner out of his lab coat pocket and ran it over the agent.

"Well, he’s unconscious… but from what??" asked Zeeltor. He looked over the scanner. Nothing unusual showed up. This was strange.

Agent U opened his eyes and was blinded by the lights in the medical sector of Headquarters. He immediately jolted awake and yelled.

"ALPHA!" yelled the agent. The agents came over.

"Alpha??" asked Jay. "Did you SEE Alpha??"

"IT’S ALPHA! LOOK OUT!" yelled U. Agent Kay became worried. They hadn’t heard from Alpha in some time and the last thing they needed was to have to deal with him again.

"Agent U, you suffered an apparent trauma--- are you sure about what you saw?" asked Zeeltor.

"YES! Alpha came out of NOWHERE and I turned around and he was there again and he put his hand on my shoulder and that’s the last thing I remember!" he said. X rolled his eyes. Agent U was rambling and after they found him in the hall, X wasn’t ready to go believing him anytime soon. Zed was there and he and Kay went out into the hall.

"Do you think he’s back?" asked Zed.

"Could be… couldn’t be." Said Kay.

"I’m hoping Agent U just saw something--- or this is a result of a nightmare." Said Zed. Kay nodded. "We have highly advanced technology now to just keep tabs on Alpha if he were to head into this area again, and we’ve seen nothing."

"Well, we did get those odd readings last night. Maybe Alpha’s got something up his sleeves this time."

"Well, I don’t know what to think, but I’m putting us on alert until we can be sure." Said Zed. Agent X came out into the hall.

"That human is crazy." Said X. Zed and Kay turned. "Do you really think Alpha would sneak in here and just take out Agent U?" he asked. Zed and Kay looked at each other.

"Your point?" asked Kay.

"Something else probably got U… if he didn’t just black out or something. Alpha was probably just a figment of his stupid human imagination. Primitive thinking from a primitive brain. And do remember--- this IS Agent U." said X as he folded his arms. Zed thought it over.

"You maybe right about this. Agent U has been overworked lately. Still, I will put us on an alert until we can clear this up. In the meantime, we’ll have an eye out for ANYTHING suspicious."

"Sounds to be the best plan for now." Said Kay as he saw Zed leave down the hall. He turned to X. "So neither of you found anything?"

"Nothing." Said the alien. "Just Agent U. No papers, no nothing." Said X as he headed back into the room. Kay stood there and thought it over.

"No papers?" he asked himself. "Agent U--- with no paperwork? That doesn’t sound right."

Zed finished speaking with some agents over a communicator when a paper pusher came in and handed him some reports. Zed looked up.

"Agent U just gave these to me and said to take care of them." said the agent. Zed gave him a funny look.

"Agent U??" he asked. The Agent nodded. "Where was Agent U?"

"Downstairs." Said the agent. "He was near one of the file rooms." He added. Zed brought up the medical sector on the communicator and Zeeltor answered it.

"Oh, Hello!" said the Doctor cheerily.

"Dispense with the formalities. Has Agent U been discharged from medical care?"

"No--- Agent U is right here, still raving about…" said Zeeltor. He whispered into the communicator. "…raving about having seen ‘Alpha’."

"Really?" asked Zed. He turned to the agent in his office.

"I swear on my life, I just spoke with Agent U downstairs. He handed me these papers." He continued. Zeeltor heard this.

"Zed----" started Zeeltor. "I think we have a problem."

"Tell me about it." said Zed. "Now we’ve got another Agent U running around."

"I think we may have something on our hands." Began Zeeltor. "Not ‘Alpha’… but perhaps something else--- a—shape-shifter of sorts."

"Well for our sake I HOPE it’s a shape-shifter." Said Zed. "Alpha always means trouble. ALWAYS." He added.

If only he had remembered that trouble came in more forms than Alpha.

Zeeltor returned to looking over a slew of information. He soon figured, the electrical readouts corresponded to this ‘shape-shifter’ they thought could be behind this.

The FannFik maintained it’s form of Agent U. It had gotten rid of the paperwork and made it’s way around looking for the Agent. It planned to continue taking other forms to continue being undetected. It was because of this, that whenever the FannFiks showed up anywhere, that disaster couldn’t be evaded before it was far too late.

It decided to get closer to make it’s kill.

Agents Elle and X worked on paperwork concerning their discovery of Agent U. They didn’t even bother asking U questions because he was acting crazy--- as usual. They were at one of the rows of desks for agents working on paperwork. Agent X was tired of this and remembered he hadn’t gotten his coffee from a few hours before. He tossed the pen aside and got up. Elle protested.

"Hey, we got to get this stuff done!" she said.

"I’ll be right back--- I’m going to die if I don’t get any coffee!" he said. He had been slowly becoming addicted to caffeine… and once you’re hooked to coffee, you can’t get off of it.

Agent Elle had left her communicator back in the Medical sector of headquarters when Zed called to warn them about a possible shape-shifter. Agent X wouldn’t have heard of the news anyway. He was off getting coffee.

X walked into the coffee room and found Agent U standing there with a cup of coffee. X was surprised at the human’s bounce-back from the incident in the hall.

"Back to work already?" he questioned.

"Yes---" said Agent U in a monotone voice. The FannFik had managed to mimic what it had heard. It’s time as Alpha had been silent because it hadn’t heard what the ex-Man In Black had sounded like.

"That’s work as a MIB I suppose." Said X, trying to do anything to kill time and slow his return to paperwork. "Always working, and not a moment’s rest…" said the alien as he rolled his eyes at the thought of paperwork. Agent X set his coffee down and picked up a newspaper to read as he stood there. Things were quiet down that end of the hall. "Hey—uh--- how about those Yankees?" asked X. He shuddered at what humans called small talk. He had tried for the life of him to kill time in the past and found NOTHING worked. X noticed Jay was always killing time and not getting paperwork done simply by bringing up sports. X looked up to see U’s reaction and found the agent gone. X put the paper down and picked up his coffee and looked out the hall. He saw and heard nothing. He shrugged and turned back to the room. As he did so, Agent U appeared in front of him. "WOAH, surprised me there, U…" said X. Agent U was silent. He raised his arm put it on X’s shoulder. There was a sizzle of blue electricity. X dropped the coffee and tried to fight back. He was far stronger than a mere human was. He punched the fake Agent U, but only got more in return. The Fake Agent U brought his arm back and punched Agent X in the jaw. The force of the punch and the electricity sent Agent X into a world of darkness. The agent crumpled to the floor, and residual electricity sizzled and died. Agent X didn’t even have time to know what hit him. He was lucky too, because he had been bested by Agent U--- rather a FAKE Agent U.

The FannFik stood there looking down. As he did so, he morphed into a new form.

Agent X.

The FannFik, now false Agent X straightened his tie and stepped out of the coffee room carrying two cups of coffee. He passed the reflective surface of the refrigerator, and was perfect in disguise, green ears and all. Agent X was left lying on the floor of the lower level coffee room… motionless.

Down in the medical sector, Zeeltor’s scanner had just gone crazy again. It registered a large amount of electrical output in the vicinity.

Zeeltor contacted Zed. Zed switched on the communicator to hear what the newest of information was from Zeeltor. The alien doctor informed Zed that there had just been a spike of electrical energy in the area.

Agent Elle was down doing paperwork when Agent X showed up with another cup of coffee. He gave it to her.

"Thought you’d need this." He said in a monotone voice. Elle shrugged and took the coffee. Agent Jay came up to them and said that Zed wanted to see them all. Elle checked her pocket and realized she had forgotten her communicator. She got up and carried her coffee in one hand and paperwork in the other. The three of them headed upstairs where they found Kay in Zed’s office.

"Well, we have reason to believe it’s not Alpha." Said Zed. "We now suspect it’s a shape-shifter because while Agent U was in the Medical ward with Zeeltor, another agent was given paperwork by what believe is a fake Agent U. I’ve informed everybody to keep an eye out for an Agent U in the halls and to bring him into custody if found." Said Zed. "Zeeltor is also telling us that there’s been a lot of electrical activity around so do keep an eye out." He finished. Kay looked over some paperwork.

"I’ve asked the twins to come up with something with the readings we’ve gotten and so far they’ve turned up nothing." Said Kay. "It’s better though that it’s NOT Alpha that we have to worry about now." He said. As he spoke, the lights dimmed in Headquarters and returned to normal. The agents looked up. Everyone in Headquarters paused. Down in the lab, Zeeltor picked up a scanner and headed upstairs.

Zed and the agents went down to the main floor to see what the twins could make of the power flux.

"Are you sure you ruled that out? It IS summer, and there are often brownouts if it’s as hot as it has been." Said Zed to the aliens at the controls. They babbled in alien language to Zed. He sighed and turned to the agents. "They’ve ruled out background interference causing the power drain. It’s not a major power plant being drained." He said. Even though the MIB ran off their own power, they used a bit of regular power at times to save costs and maintain the image of ‘just an old, power guzzling section of the airport’ outside LaGuardia. It wasn’t air-conditioners or power usage that did this. Something caused the power to drain for a moment. Zeeltor came over to them with a scanner.

"This is the most INTERESTING THING I’ve seen in a LONG TIME!" he said excitedly. He held the scanner up. "There’s something here in Headquarters that’s causing all this power trouble and electrical spikes!" he continued babbling. Jay shook his head at the mumbo jumbo.

"We should--- be careful." Said Agent X, in the same dead voice as before. "Don’t want anyone getting hurt." He continued.

"Right—" said Zed. "Kay, Jay--- I want you, Elle, and X to go with Zeeltor and track this thing down and take care of it. The sooner we can get rid of it, the sooner we can get back to running full speed."

"Okay," said Kay. "We’ll start downstairs and work our way up." He finished. X nodded.

"Sounds like an excellent plan there, Agent Kay." He said. Elle raised an eyebrow. Something wasn’t right.

They picked up some weapons and headed for the elevator. Zed almost let them go, but had a gut feeling that he had trusted ever since he joined the MIB. He decided to go with them.

They took the elevator down to the lowest floor and made a sweep. Zeeltor was picking up something strong but everywhere they went, they didn’t find what they were looking for. They headed to the next floor. Jay and Zed went down one side of the hall and Kay, Elle and X took the other. Zeeltor followed Zed and Jay, looking at the scanner all the way. As they made their way down the hall, he noticed the readings weren’t nearly as strong as they were.

"You know--- if I didn’t know better, I’d guess whatever we’re looking for was right with us." He said.

He was right.

The agents made their way down and found the coffee room in this area. Agent X got to the door and froze.

"Would you like me to get you some coffee, partner?" he asked in the monotone voice. Kay was too busy looking in another office to notice. Elle froze and raised an eyebrow at what her partner had just said. He asked if she would like some more coffee. He was being considerate towards humans--- and it was terribly odd--- X never did anything like that--- Elle froze. She drew her blaster and aimed it at X.

"FREEZE RIGHT THERE!" she yelled. "WHO ARE YOU!??" she demanded of the alien before her. X was frozen there.

"It is I…. Agent X." he said. Elle didn’t buy it. Kay had heard the commotion and came around, weapon drawn.

"ONE LAST TIME--- WHO OR WHAT ARE YOU!!??" she yelled. The alien didn’t respond. Elle caught a glimpse into the coffee room. An agent lay on the floor. It was Agent X. She turned to the alien before her. It was a fraud. Elle powered up the blaster and fired it. Kay thought she had snapped but right before their eyes, Agent X turned transparent, and the blast from the weapon passed right through him. He turned opaque again.

"JAY!" yelled Kay. Down the hall, they heard Kay yell. The fake Agent X raised an arm and electricity flew from his hand and struck Agent Kay. The agent dropped his rifle and collapsed to the floor. Elle screamed and ran.

Elle ran and found Jay, Zed, and Zeeltor.

"IT’S AGENT X! HE’S THE SHAPE-SHIFTER!" she yelled. Jay caught up and saw his partner on the floor down the hall.

"Wont be a shape-shifter for LONG!" yelled Jay. He tore down the hall and found Agent X. The alien turned and as Jay was about to fire, struck with more electricity. Jay yelled out in pain and fell to the floor near his partner. The others looked on horrified.

"ZEELTOR!" yelled Elle. "WHAT IS THIS!?" she continued. Zeeltor shook his head.

"I’ve never seen ANYTHING like this!" he said. "It’s nothing like I’ve ever learned about--- and it exhibits characteristics of a mythical life form!" he said. Agent X came down the hall towards Elle. She fired her weapon again to no avail. Elle stumbled back. Zeeltor tried to figure out what it was. He looked up and the false Agent X was in front of him. Before Zeeltor could do ANYTHING, the alien struck the doctor with electricity and Zeeltor too collapsed.

"NOOOO!" she screamed. Zed couldn’t believe his own eyes. He raised a rifle and as he did, electricity flew from the fake X’s hand and fried Zed’s weapon. He dropped it as the energy ran up his arm. The two agents retreated down the hall and past a corner. "What are we going to do??" asked Elle.

"My communicator’s dead—" he said as he looked up. The electricity had damaged his communicator as well as his rifle. Elle turned and before her eyes, the Agent X appeared. it wavered in the light and returned to it’s original form--- an entity of blue electricity.

"Zed! Get out of here!" yelled Elle. The entity wasn’t concerned with Zed though. As Elle fired her weapon, the entity drained the energy from it and surrounded Elle, going in for the kill.

Just as she thought it was all over--- Elle remembered the pen Zeeltor had given them. She quickly stuck her hand in her jacket pocket and pulled it out.

Thank the stars for Zeeltor’s new simplicity. The pen had one red button on it. If this thing was made of energy--- it wouldn’t be around for much longer. She pressed the red button and time slowed.

Green electricity shot out from the end of the pen and branched out over the entire form of the entity. It let go of Elle and retreated. The pen was destroying it and draining it of it’s energy.

Suddenly--- two cylinders of light appeared in the middle of the floor. Elle and Zed couldn’t help but be blinded. They looked up and saw something step out of the light.

The forms were pure light it seemed--- until they took the form of something more recognizable to a human. They appeared in black suits, black sunglasses and black fedora hats. The two forms looked almost like Men In Black. They were as pale white as light, and had expressionless faces.

They didn’t concern themselves with the two MIB agents Zed and Elle. They approached the electrical entity that was slowly fading. One of these Men In Black opened it’s hand and an orb floated in the air. The Man In Black stepped away and the sphere took on a life of it’s own. Little colored lights flickered as the sphere sent itself to the middle of the electrical entity. The entity was losing a battle against Elle’s energy destruction pen. The sphere opened up and a vacuum of light was created. It sucked the entity into its core and closed. Upon closing, the sphere fell to the floor with a metallic clank. The pen Elle held ceased to emit the green electricity. It had been the pen mightier than the sword.

Zed and Elle couldn’t believe their eyes. One of these Men In Black walked over to the sphere and picked it up. It returned and the two Men In Black looked at the agents, who were still in shock.

One spoke---- though no mouth moved.

"Sorry about this one---" said one.

"It’s eluded our grasp for some time now… caused a bit of destruction." The other said in the same voice. In an attempt to evoke a response from the humans, the first Man In Black tried to explain.

"This entity was known as the FannFik. It has a whim for random targeted destruction--- and it seems it made it’s way to your planet to do some more damage."

"Why THIS planet??" asked Zed, trying to make some sense of it all. The second Man In Black tried to crack a joke.

"Eh---" it said. "It doesn’t like blondes?" it posed the question. The joke failed. The other Man In Black spoke.

"It will cause trouble no longer---"

"WHO ARE YOU!??" demanded both Zed and Elle.

"Just figments--- of--- your imagination." Said one of these mysterious Men In Black. They surveyed the area.

"Effected radius--- Headquarters Building." Said the other in a monotone voice. He turned to the two agents. "We will bid you a good day--- Everything will be returned to which it was, and no one will recall what has taken place."

"WHAT ABOUT THE AGENTS!?" yelled Elle, still trying to grasp what she saw. They were starting to sound like the Men In Black.

"No harm has befallen them. None shall befall you." It finished.

"Now HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" said Zed. "I want you to EXPLAIN EVERYTHING!" he yelled. The mysterious Men In Black looked at each other.

"We’re not at liberty to discuss what has happened. It’s time for us to leave. We bid you good day." He said as they both tipped their black fedora hats. They stepped back into the cylinders of light, and as they did so, light filled everything--- and blinded everyone left to observe it in the building. Conscious thought vanished.

 Life faded back in. Headquarters was calm this night. Over in the living quarters complex, Agents slept. When they would wake, none would recall going to bed.