by Jennifer Lynn Weston
(Brain Has A Chance Encounter With The Warner Siblings, Which
An Impromptu Psychoanalytical Session)
Yakko: Hiya, Brain! Wheres Pinky?
Brain: I gave Pinky the day off. Its his designated birthday.
Wakko: Designated birthday? How does that compare with the
Brain: Neither of us knows our actual birth dates. But Pinky wanted a
day to celebrate his, so he selected it by flicking a spoonful of mashed potato at a wall
Dot: Whatcha doing with this big satellite-dish-laser gizmo?
Wakko: Still trying to conquer the planet, Brainy? Couldnt you
learn to be happy doing something else?
Brain: Such as?
Dot: How about using your impressive intellectual capacities to solve
Brain: To use your own vernacular: You just dont get it, do you?
I have developed solutions to world problems, but nobody pays attention because Im a
Yakko: Oh, I see! You want to become World Ruler so people will take
Dot: So you can use your talents for the benefit of all.
Wakko: So youll be appreciated and applauded.
Yakko: So you can get back at everyone whos treated you like an
Brain: Yes! (beat) I mean, that is,....
Yakko: Oh, dont hold it in, Brainy- its kinna
Dot: (melodramatic) Here you are, one of the most gifted minds of our
time; yet humans think the only use you have is to be a subject in laboratory
Wakko: Thats gotta hurt.
Brain: (flinching) It does. In every sense.
Wakko: So you work hard to improve your situation, and what do you get
for it? You get blown up, squished, electrocuted, squished, hurled into brick walls,
Brain: Theres no need to recite the whole catalogue.
Yakko: It must make you angry.
Brain: Indeed. I do admit to a certain rage within me. I derive much
of my determination from it.
Wakko: It also makes a person wonder, what kind of World Ruler
Dot: Maybe you should deal with this problem before you pursue
your ambitions any further?
Brain: Spare me your psychobabble! I happen to know you brats
havent even graduated from grade school yet; youre hardly qualified to...
Yakko: For your own sake, Brain, you should deal these negative
Wakko: Dont you find that, every now and then it builds to the
point (demonstrates by punching the air) where you want to pop somebody?
Brain: Yes, frequently! And thats when I... (sudden realization)
Thats when I take it out on... Pinky.
Dot: This is what were talking about, Brain! Its bad that
youre using your loyal friend as a punching bag, because the powers you truly resent
are out of your reach!
Brain: (downcast) Ive done a poor job of returning his friendship, havent
Yakko: Cheer up, Brain- theres time to do better. Why dont
you go back to the lab right now, to help Pinky celebrate his birthday?
Brain: Your suggestion has merit. Left unsupervised, Pinkys
celebrations tend to put the lab into a seriously disorganized
(Wakko looks to Yakko for translation.)
Yakko: He means Pinky makes a big mess.
Dot: (producing a wrapped present) And give this to him, with our best
Brain: (taking present) Thats commendable of you. What is it?
Wakko: Its an electric three-speed combination mango-slicer and
Brain: I see youre familiar with Pinkys tastes.
Dot: And theres a kitchen-appliance store right down the street-
you can get him something, too.
Brain: I intend to do that. You have my appreciation, Warners.
Warners: Youre welcome! (Brain exits)
Wakko: Do you suppose hell ever actually take over the world?
Yakko: Who knows? Hes a persistent little guy. It probably
wont hurt us to try to stay on his good side.
Dot: Anyway, now we can play with the satellite-dish-laser
(The usual A! mayhem ensues.)