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BRAIN ANALYSIS (Brain Has A Chance Encounter With The Warner Siblings, Which
Becomes Yakko: Hiya, Brain! Where’s Pinky? Brain: I gave Pinky the day off. It’s his designated birthday. Wakko: ‘Designated birthday’? How does that compare with the regular kind? Brain: Neither of us knows our actual birth dates. But Pinky wanted a day to celebrate his, so he selected it by flicking a spoonful of mashed potato at a wall calendar. Dot: Whatcha doing with this big satellite-dish-laser gizmo? Brain: Guess. Wakko: Still trying to conquer the planet, Brainy? Couldn’t you learn to be happy doing something else? Brain: Such as? Dot: How about using your impressive intellectual capacities to solve world problems? Brain: To use your own vernacular: You just don’t get it, do you? I have developed solutions to world problems, but nobody pays attention because I’m a lab mouse. Yakko: Oh, I see! You want to become World Ruler so people will take you seriously. Brain: Yes. Dot: So you can use your talents for the benefit of all. Brain: Yes! Wakko: So you’ll be appreciated and applauded. Brain: Yes! Yakko: So you can get back at everyone who’s treated you like an animal. Brain: Yes! (beat) I mean, that is,.... Yakko: Oh, don’t hold it in, Brainy- it’s kinna understandable. Dot: (melodramatic) Here you are, one of the most gifted minds of our time; yet humans think the only use you have is to be a subject in laboratory experiments. Wakko: That’s gotta hurt. Brain: (flinching) It does. In every sense. Wakko: So you work hard to improve your situation, and what do you get for it? You get blown up, squished, electrocuted, squished, hurled into brick walls, squished... Brain: There’s no need to recite the whole catalogue. Yakko: It must make you angry. Brain: Indeed. I do admit to a certain rage within me. I derive much of my determination from it. Wakko: It also makes a person wonder, what kind of World Ruler you’d be. Dot: Maybe you should deal with this problem before you pursue your ambitions any further? Brain: Spare me your psychobabble! I happen to know you brats haven’t even graduated from grade school yet; you’re hardly qualified to... Yakko: For your own sake, Brain, you should deal these negative feelings. Wakko: Don’t you find that, every now and then it builds to the point (demonstrates by punching the air) where you want to pop somebody? Brain: Yes, frequently! And that’s when I... (sudden realization) That’s when I take it out on... Pinky. Dot: This is what we’re talking about, Brain! It’s bad that you’re using your loyal friend as a punching bag, because the powers you truly resent are out of your reach! Brain: (downcast) I’ve done a poor job of returning his friendship, haven’t I? Yakko: Cheer up, Brain- there’s time to do better. Why don’t you go back to the lab right now, to help Pinky celebrate his birthday? Brain: Your suggestion has merit. Left unsupervised, Pinky’s
celebrations tend to put the lab into a seriously disorganized (Wakko looks to Yakko for translation.) Yakko: He means Pinky makes a big mess. Dot: (producing a wrapped present) And give this to him, with our best wishes. Brain: (taking present) That’s commendable of you. What is it? Wakko: It’s an electric three-speed combination mango-slicer and sneaker polisher! Brain: I see you’re familiar with Pinky’s tastes. Dot: And there’s a kitchen-appliance store right down the street- you can get him something, too. Brain: I intend to do that. You have my appreciation, Warners. Warners: You’re welcome! (Brain exits) Wakko: Do you suppose he’ll ever actually take over the world? Yakko: Who knows? He’s a persistent little guy. It probably won’t hurt us to try to stay on his good side. Dot: Anyway, now we can play with the satellite-dish-laser gizmo! Warners: YAAAYYY!! (The usual A! mayhem ensues.) |
