Yusuke Urameshi Vs. Orihime Inoue! (A YYH/Bleach Crossover) [PG-13]

Pokejedservo

Mega Man 3 is Classic
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Well Ladies & Gents I thought I try a little something different namely this little sort of Yu Yu Hakusho/Bleach crossover (though technically Fusion Fic). In this story Yusuke Urameshi is about to get himself ready for the final match at the school's Martial Arts Tournament until Kuwabara's barges in to stop him for doing his final match since Yusuke's opponent is a lady. Yusuke at first smugly brushes Kuwabara off until he tells him that Orihime is his final opponnent. In which this gets Yusuke to feel a bit conflicted at first but he doesn't forfeit the match for he has some devious other plans in mind.

Oh yes and if anyone is curious that when I had Orihime dropped a few names later on in this story if it means that I would be working on some YYH/Bleach Fusion Fic series or at least a Bleach series and I will say to that... maybe. And for those who are familiar with Bleach but don't know Kyoko Haida and Haruko they are both one-shot anime-only characters in which the former became a new girl at school and became one of Orihime's friends at the end of the episode. Well this was rather fun to do but this took a bit longer to do than I thought. (Also I was originally thinking of having a bit more YYH/Bleach characters to have a speaking role but like I said this took a bit of a while to do,) Still hope you folks enjoy.


Yusuke Urameshi vs. Orihime Inoue (A Yu Yu Hakusho/Bleach crossover)

(One afternoon at the school auditorium during a School Martial Arts Tournament, Yusuke Urameshi, star of Yu Yu Hakusho is being approached by his long time frenemy/self-proclaimed rival Kazuma Kuwabara in the boy’s locker room.)

Kuwabara: URAMESHI!

Yusuke: *sigh* What is it now Kuwabara?

Kuwabara: I got a bone to pick with you!

Yusuke: What for? Look I already beat you in the tournament, rather easily to nobody’s surprise, so if you want a rematch just wait until I’m done with this stupid tournament after I’m done with the final match.

Kuwabara: This isn’t about me Urameshi, I have already heard whose going to be your final opponent and it happens to be a Lady!

Yusuke: Oh is that all? Well in that case I’ll just simply crush her then.

Kuwabara: WHAT?!

Yusuke: You heard me it’s like I’ve said to you before if a fighter gets in my way I take them down regardless of who they are and if it means smacking a skank down every now & then so be it.

Kuwabara: Urameshi, I always knew you were a violent nasty little punk but I didn’t think you are a little misogynist too!

Yusuke: Misogynist? Heh heh, really, why Kuwabara I didn’t know you were able to use such big words, I’m so impressed.

Kuwabara: WHY YOU!

Yusuke: Oh let me guess is this about your whole “Honor Code” thing?

Kuwabara: Yeah well at least I have an Honor Code!

Yusuke: Yeah but in this case is it really that honorable? After all insisting to not fight someone just because they are a girl? For shame Kuwabara, for shame, I mean you don’t want anyone thinking your some chauvinist right?

Kuwabara: Cha… Chauvinist, what is that supposed to mean?! After all… since when did Gender Equality became a reason to justify violence huh?

Yusuke: Well it can be… well theoretically… though let me guess Kuwabara, this isn’t just because my last opponent happens to be female right?

Kuwabara: That’s right, your final opponent happens to be none other than the sweet & shapely goddess herself none other than Orihime Inoue!

Yusuke: Wait a minute Orihime is my final opponent?!

Kuwabara: Yeah and I would never forgive myself if I allowed a nasty little prick like you to give a goddess like Orihime a brutal beat down!

Yusuke: Ah man… *sigh* Alright Kuwabara, as much as I dread saying this but I do agree with you.

Kuwabara: Wait what…Really?

Yusuke: Yeah, still I didn’t know Orihime was a contestant here in this tournament.

Kuwabara: Yeah she has been using her Judo skills to get to the finals.

Yusuke: Really, so Orihime’s judo skills got her to the finals, I got to say that is pretty impressive.

Kuwabara: Indeed, I’ve been watching Orihime’s matches ever since after I had my match with you Urameshi.

Yusuke: Well that makes sense after all I did knock you out of the tournament rather early Kuwabara so I figured you would have plenty of time to watch the other matches.

Kuwabara: Grr… That is beside the point and you know it Urameshi.

Yusuke: Heh heh perhaps…

Kuwabara: Anyways, so does this mean you will forfeit.

Yusuke: Hmm… I dunno, I mean don’t get me wrong Kuwabara I don’t want Orihime to get an absolute beating any more than you do, but it would look bad on my part if I threw a fight just because my opponent is a girl. Hmmm… however if Miss Hime wants a Judo Match then this gives an idea for some… grappling fun.

Kuwabara: What do you mean by that Urameshi?

Yusuke: Oh you’ll see Kuwabara, you’ll see… Heh heh heh…

Kuwabara (thinking): I’m not sure I like where this is going….

(A short while later at the School Auditorium where the ring for the Martial Arts Tournament is ready to go, we see all sorts of folks in the stands such as Keigo Asano, Mizuiro Kojima and Chizuru Honsho from Bleach for example.)

Keigo: Oh wow these matches have been amazing!

Mizuiro: I know right, I’ve heard that Orihime is going to be on the Final Match here.

Chizuru: Ah yeah I know that our Sexy Cutie Judo Goddess Orihime would come out on top!

Keigo: Yeah our Sexy Cutie Judo Goddess Orihime is #1!

Mizuiro: Yeah I admit I’m surprised that Orihime is doing so well.

Chizuru: Oh I’m not too surprised that a sexy cutie like Orihime would be so strong. Sure Hime maybe as sweet and cute as a kitten in public but she is probably a tiger in bed. I’m sure you guys have thought about that too.

Mizuiro (slight blush): Uh… no… not necessarily…

Keigo (slight nose bleed): Oh more than occasionally.

Chizuru: Ah yes I remember when I once dabbled in Judo too, well until I got kicked out of the Girl’s Judo Club at School for “Unnecessarily Lewd Roughness”. Namely how I was often told that in a Judo Match you are supposed to grab things like shoulders & arms, not breasts and waists. Oh those School Officials were such spoil-sports.

Keigo: I see… say Mizuiro, do you know who is going to be Orihime’s opponent?

Mizuiro: Oh yes I remember now Orihime’s last opponent is… *gulp* Yusuke Urameshi.

Keigo: U…URAMESHI?! Oh man this is so not good.

Mizuiro: I know, Yusuke Urameshi is known as one of the most violent delinquents in this school’s history. And I even heard that Yusuke would beat anyone up, man, woman he doesn’t care.

Keigo: Ah man I’m not sure if I want to watch this.

Chizuru: Oh will you two relax? It’s not that big of a deal after all this is a School-Sanctioned Martial Arts Tournament.

Keigo: Yeah I mean sure Yusuke maybe a mean, nasty guy but he is not stupid. I’m sure even he knows that he would get into a lot of trouble if he gave Orihime the kind of beatings he is normally known for.

Mizuiro: I dunno I mean I’ve heard that at least a couple of the guys that Yusuke have beaten are in the Nurse’s Office even as we speak.

Keigo (gritting his teeth): Not helping Mizuiro.

Chizuru: What I mean is that a lot of things said about Yusuke are just hearsay and Urameshi likes to play up his tough guy image. Macho Male Ego Pride and all that crap you know. Sure Yusuke may claim that he would be eager to give women beatings but personally I think he is mostly all talk.

Mizuiro: Wait so the rumors that Yusuke would beat up women are false?

Chizuru: Well okay probably not flat out false. But still you two yes Urameshi has been in a lot of fights but it’s with guys who try to pick fights with him. I mean really you two if Yusuke is as much of a violent savage as you two make him out to be he would mostly be in Juvie right now if not in Jail. Besides this is an official sanctioned Tournament and those “absolute beatings” that Yusuke is known for giving are actually quite a no-no regardless of what gender his opponent is.

Mizuiro: Oh… well when you put it that way that does make sense.

Keigo: Yeah *phew* that is a relief… though wait Chizuru does this mean you know Urameshi?

Chizuru: Know him? Ehh… not quite, Yusuke and I are more occasional acquaintances than anything else. Though he has admired my fine skills in the art of Skinship Groping upon the ladies, of course he is not the only guy to have done so.

Keigo: True.

Chizuru: However I wouldn’t mind having a sleepover with Yusuke, namely so I can try to get it on with his sexy young hard-drinking mother though. *growl*

Keigo: Ah yes I’ve heard rumors that Yusuke has got quite the MILF of a mom.

Chizuru: Oh those rumors are true Keigo, I assure you.

Keigo: Nice

Chizuru: So yeah I assure you all that Orihime will most likely be just fine. However Yusuke is on the other hand one of the biggest perverts in the school though so he probably has other ideas regarding our dear Hime though. Not that I blame him of course.

(Meanwhile also in a nearby location in the stands Kyoko Haida, of Bleach fame and good friend to Orihime is quite intent on watching the upcoming match.)

Kyoko (thinking): Ah Orihime I am so proud of you, you managed to get your way up to the finals. It looks like all the training we did these past few nights have done us well. Ah my dear Hime, whether you win or lose I’m so going to treat you to some Ice Cream and a nice massage later.

Kyoko (thinking): Still it is rather nice how Orihime’s Judo skills have been getting better & better. Sure some of the guys she faced most likely took it easy on her just because she is a girl or because of her looks. But hey at least Orihime was able to take advantage of that when that happens. Though I do wonder who is going to be her opponent in the finals.

(Meanwhile at a different section of the audience Ichigo Kurosaki, star of Bleach, along with his old childhood friend Tatsuki Arisawa also awaiting the final match.)

Tatsuki: Ah this is so cool that Orihime was able to get to the top. Go Orihime!

Ichigo: Yeah I got to say I’m surprised that Orihime was able to do so well here.

Tatsuki: Oh really, c’mon Ichigo you of all people would know that girls can do just as well as guys can in a tournament.

Ichigo: Relax Tatsuki, not everything has to be about Gender Politics. The reason why I’m surprised Orihime is doing so well is because she is not a sadist like you. Still speaking of which I’m a little surprised that you didn’t sign in for this year’s tournament. What you didn’t want to show Orihime up?

Tatsuki: N…no I’m sure Orihime would’ve done just fine anyways but since I won the Tournament last year pretty easily so I figured I would let someone else get the spotlight.

Ichigo: Ah yes I guess I could see that, though I’m surprised that you weren’t the one who taught Orihime there Tatsuki.

Tatsuki: *sigh* Don’t remind me, I did offer but apparently that girl Kyoko beat me to it even though I’m the established Martial Artist. Still Orihime has been telling me about all the fun she and Kyoko have been having in her room during their little sleepovers. Is it wrong that I sometimes wonder if I should be concerned here?

Ichigo: Ehh… I’m sure there is nothing to worry about Tatsuki.

Tatsuki: Perhaps, don’t get me wrong I suppose it is nice how Orihime & Kyoko do get along really well. However that Kyoko does occasionally tease me on how she seems to think I have sexual tension issues with you Ichigo… *slight blush* which I clearly don’t of course!

Ichigo (slight blush): Eh yeah… o…of course.

Tatsuki: Anyways, hey Ichigo you keep asking me why I didn’t intend this year’s tournament, what about you? How come you didn’t get to be in this year’s tournament huh Ichigo?

Ichigo: Well Tatsuki since you weren’t going to attend this year’s tourney I figured I might as well follow suit besides I had plenty of school work lately, well among other chores.

Tatsuki: Aw what’s the matter Ichigo, disappointed that you didn’t get to have a rematch against me? Remember how we were in the Final Match last year in which I did beat you in a submission hold? Ah good times, good times…

Ichigo: Yeah I suppose those were good times. Say Tatsuki, do you have any idea who Orihime will be facing in this final match?

Tatsuki: Ah yeah I think her last opponent is going to be Yusuke.

Ichigo: Yusuke, as in Yusuke Urameshi? *ugh* Oh rest assured Tatsuki if that little prick goes too far with Orihime I’ll knock some sense into him.

Tatsuki: Oh I wouldn’t be too worried if I were you Ichigo after all Orihime has been doing really well as a Judoka in this tournament, she just might surprise you ya know.

Ichigo: Don’t get me wrong Tatsuki I know that Orihime has been doing well in this tournament but this is Yusuke Urameshi we are talking about here. I’m one of the few students who have ever beaten him in a fight.

Tatsuki: One of the few guys you mean, Ichigo, trust me Yusuke is not as big of a deal as he likes to think he is. I’ve been able to smack that sleazy prick Yusuke several times so the odds of Orihime beating him are not that bad. She probably would’ve done better if I was the one teaching her but still. Besides I intend to one day open my own Martial Arts Dojo, so maybe I will make you my #1 student Ichigo.

Ichigo: *tch* Yeah right Tatsuki like I’d ever call you Master.

Tatsuki (getting closer): How about I make you call me Master later on tonight then?

(Then Tatsuki & Ichigo’s faces go very red and they quickly look away.)

Tatsuki: Uh… in…. in Submission Hold training of course.

Ichigo: Yeah… of… of course…

(Then the lights start to dim as the Final Match is about to begin.)

Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WELCOME TO THIS YEAR’S MARTIAL ARTS TOURNAMENT AT KARAKURA HIGH! THE FINAL MATCH IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!

Announcer: THE FINAL MATCH IS YUSUKE URAMESHI VS. ORIHIME INOUE!

(Then as Yusuke steps in the ring he notices Orihime Inoue, a sweet and very busty young lady with long orange hair in a fairly form-fitting white Gi but the first thing Yusuke notices is that Orihime’s Gi is showing a decent amount of cleavage.)

Yusuke (thinking, getting his fingers ready): Yay!

Orihime: Hmm? Oh hi there Yusuke!

Yusuke: Hey there Hime, I didn’t know you were going to be in this Tournament.

Orihime: Uh-huh I’m normally only a yellow-belt in Judo but I’ve been getting a lot of help so I think I am getting better.

Yusuke: That is very nice, oh I hope none of those big bad men have you hurt you too much there Hime.

Orihime: Oh I’m okay Yusuke, Karakura High’s Martial Art Tournaments believe in keeping these matches nice & fair so nobody gets hurt too much. Besides Yusuke not all of my opponents were male, I managed to grapple a few of the girls in this school during my matches too.

Yusuke: Oh and it’s such a shame I missed those matches there hime, such a shame indeed.

Orihime: Yeah I’ve been getting a lot of help from my friend Kyoko Haida, do you remember Kyoko there Yusuke?

Yusuke: Ah yes Kyoko, Ms. Calm & cool with the short dark hair who is about your equal in measurements there Hime, yea I remember.

Orihime: Sweet well Kyoko has been helping me a lot in my training. We’ve been grappling each other a lot in my room for the past few nights. It is pretty exhausting but after a lot of grappling Kyoko does give me massages every now & then which make me feel real good. Ah yes Kyoko and I have grappled each other plenty of times but she is usually on top of me when we do it at my bedroom.

Yusuke (nosebleeding): Fascinating, truly fascinating.

(Meanwhile, as Kyoko is watching this.)

Kyoko (thinking): And Yusuke is too busy leering at Orihime’s cleavage. *sigh* Of course he would. Oh Hime don’t get me wrong I normally love how you’re so sweet and friendly to everyone, though why you would be so friendly to a sleazy little man like Yusuke I’ll never know.

(Now we see Ichigo & Tatsuki.)

Ichigo: Hmm… Urameshi is getting awfully friendly around Orihime. See Tatsuki this is what I was trying to say earlier that oh sure Yusuke would probably not want to really injure Orihime but that is mainly because he has… ulterior motives in mind here.

Tatsuki: I see what you mean, alright well Ichigo I might as well reconsider your offer about giving Yusuke a good ass-kicking if he really tries anything funny on Orihime. Though when that happens, may I join you?

Ichigo: Oh of course you may Tatsuki.

Tatsuki: Thank you.

(Now we see Kuwabara watching in disgust from nearby the door to the Locker Room.)

Kuwabara (thinking): Grrr… I should’ve known! Of course that sleaze Urameshi wouldn’t want to beat up Orihime he’d rather be perverted to her than anything else. Oh how can anyone be so lewd to such a shap… er… such a sweet young lady like Orihime here.

(Now we cut back to Yusuke & Orihime.)

Yusuke: Say Orihime I’m just wondering, are you feeling a bit warm? I mean all the lights that the school’s tournament has been using in the ring here must be making you feel a bit warm.

Orihime: Well Yusuke now that you mention it I do feel a bit hot here, maybe if I loosen up my Gi I would feel a bit cooler.

(Orihime loosens up her Gi displaying a lot more cleavage.)

Yusuke (really nosebleeding, thinking): YAY! This is getting better & better!

(Now we see how some of the other students are reacting.)

Mizuiro (trying to cover his nosebleed): This is getting slightly inappropriate.

Keigo (really nosebleeding): Oh Yusuke Urameshi you truly are a god amongst men.

Chizuru (also really nosebleeding): Oh this is already the best match ever.

Kuwabara (really nosebleeding, thinking): AMAZING! Uh… *tries to cover the blood from his nose* I… I mean I… I… I must be strong… I must be strong… I got to maintain my… gentlemanly nature towards the ladies. *sigh* Times like this make me almost glad I did not bring my crew with me I doubt they would be as strong as I am right now.

Kyoko: *sigh* Note to self, give Orihime a little lecture about how she really shouldn’t be so impressionable around sleazy little men like Yusuke.

(Now we see Tatsuki having a big smile on her face as Ichigo tries really hard to look away.)

Tatsuki (eyes twitching, teeth gritting): Oh Urameshi we are so going to have a little chat later.

(Now we cut back to Orihime & Yusuke.)

Orihime: Ah this does feel nice & cool, thanks for the suggestion Yusuke.

Yusuke: Oh my pleasure Orihime, it is so my pleasure. Heh heh heh…

Orihime: Oh Yusuke this Tournament has been so much fun. And Kyoko has told me that whether if I win or lose the Tournament tonight that she will treat me to Ice Cream and a nice massage tonight. Oh Kyoko has been so good to me aaaahhhh oh Yusuke I’m so going to sleep with Kyoko tonight.

(Yusuke has another massive nosebleed.)

Yusuke: RE… REALLY?! So you and Kyoko are that close huh Orihime? Oh please do give me all the juicy details…

Orihime: Hmm? Well I would most likely be having another sleepover with Kyoko, what did you think I meant? Though we will most likely still practice on grappling tonight, oh maybe if I’m lucky I get to be on top of Kyoko when we grapple on my bed tonight. Hey wait a minute Yusuke, there seems to be a lot of blood coming out of your nose, are you okay?

Yusuke: Oh I’m just fine Orihime, I’m just fine. Eh this? Well it’s probably just injuries from all the matches I was having earlier.

Orihime: Really? That is odd Yusuke; you were looking just fine a few moments ago.

Yusuke: Oh… well… well you see Orihime sometimes these battle injuries can relapse and it can happen at any given moment. Also I’m well known to be quite the violent little punk so I probably have brain damage, lots & lots of brain damage. But not too worry my dear hime I’ll be just fine.

Orihime: Oh… okay then. But you really should be careful about your injuries Yusuke, after all this isn’t the first time I’ve seen you with a bloody nose when you are near me.

Yusuke (devious grin): True…

Announcer: ARE THE CONTESTANTS READY? BEGIN!

Yusuke: Yeah, yeah I’ll get this match started… *lewd grin* Say you know Orihime I’ve never seen your Judo moves before. Mind showing me a couple of your best moves to really get this match started?

Orihime: Really are you sure you’ll be okay Yusuke?

Yusuke: Oh trust me Orihime I’ll be just fine.

Orihime: Alright then, well Yusuke I’ll be sure to give you a good grappling.

Yusuke: Oh I look forward to that Orihime, I’m so looking forward to that.

Orihime: Alright then let’s begin!

(Then Orihime performs an over-the-arm shoulder throw having Yusuke land on his back.)

Yusuke: Ow…

(Then Orihime grabs him up and then she gets on her back so she can launch him like a catapult with her right leg which gets him to fly in the air.)

Yusuke: AAAAAHHHH! *crash*

(Then Yusuke is now flat on the ground in the ring face first and then we cut to Kyoko.)

Kyoko (thinking, smiling): Ah yes Orihime, since it’s so obvious that Yusuke is so not taking you seriously then you can easily take advantage of this and take him down! You got this my dear Hime!

Kyoko (thinking): Then again it might be a bad idea to immediately write Yusuke off like that, oh sure he may be willing to play along for now but if he gets angry for losing a match this badly there is no telling what he would do. Don’t worry Hime I’m here on standby and I can use my abilities in case if he loses his temper and gets a lot more violent. Though I do have to be careful though as I don’t want Orihime to be accused of cheating due to some outside interference on my part. Still I do hope that Orihime doesn’t drag this out after all this isn’t some Shounen manga.

(Now we cut back to Yusuke.)

Yusuke (thinking): Ow… okay apparently that wasn’t quite as erotic as I thought it would be well after I scrape myself off the floor then it’s time for Plan B.

(Then Yusuke runs up to Orihime and then grabs her by the arms.)

Yusuke (cocky smirk): Alright I’m going in.

(Then Yusuke shoves his face right into Orihime’s oh so ample cleavage and begins motorboating her like crazy.)

Orihime: Huh what the… eh… ah hah ha… *giggles* Oh Yusuke that tickles!

Yusuke (face muffled by Orihime’s breasts): Gitchie Gitchie Goo!

(Now Yusuke is not only motorboating Orihime but his hands are taking turns in tickling Orihime and feeling up her thighs and booty. In which now we see how some of the other students are reacting.)

Kyoko: Wait… what?

Mizuiro (really nervous): Okay now this is really inappropriate.

Keigo: Oh I want to be Yusuke Urameshi so much right now!

Chizuru: Oh Yusuke you remembered when I motor boated Orihime like that not too long ago, how sweet. Though getting Orihime to show a lot more cleavage was sheer genius on your part my good man, kudos to you.

Kuwabara (thinking): U…U…URAMESHI?! How dare you do such a lewd & despicable act to a sexy goddess like Orihime Inoue! Eh I mean such a sweet & pretty young lady like her! Yeah…

Ichigo: Grrr… Yusuke you sleazy little prick, I should’ve known something like this would happen. Why I… AH! TATSUKI! *brief pause* Eh? Ta… Tatsuki?

(Now another brief as Ichigo is utterly baffled to see Tatsuki just sitting there on her seat quietly smiling.)

Ichigo: Uh… Tatsuki? Tatsuki? Eh let me get this straight, Yusuke is down there groping & fondling Orihime a lot and you are just sitting here being perfectly calm & okay with this?

Tatsuki (psychotic giggle): Oh Ichigo you silly boy you of course I wouldn’t be “okay” with Yusuke’s oh-so blatant display of Sexual Harassment to Orihime here. However while I could fly off into a homicidal rage but I think I’ll let poor little miss Keiko here do that instead.

(Now we see Keiko Yukimura of YYH fame watching Yusuke’s actions on Orihime with quite a death glare.)

Keiko (eyes twitching): Yusuke… Urameshi…

Ichigo: Oh I see… Ah yes Keiko Yukimura who if I remember correctly is Yusuke’s old childhood friend and she is right now giving Yusuke quite the Death Glare for well… everything he is doing to Orihime right now. Surely this would lead to Yusuke’s untimely & grisly demise, oh well couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Hey Tatsuki want to take bets on which one of Yusuke’s heads gets crushed to a bloody pulp first?

Tatsuki: Oh you know it

Kyoko (thinking, annoyed): Really Urameshi, really? Oh that’s it Yusuke you are so getting a mind-crush later… Hmm? What the… What is this strong aura of malicious intent that I’m sensing? Hmm… Oh I see its coming from Keiko Yukimura… Ah… okay then in that case I’ll let things be since I’m sure Keiko would be more than happy to give Yusuke quite the Mind Crush, literally.

(Now as Yusuke let’s go of Orihime.)

Yusuke: Ah yes Orihime I must admire your Deadly Secret Art Technique “The Magnetic Body”. Clearly you are the superior Martial Artist here.

Orihime: I am? Oh… okay then.

(Then Yusuke gets another Nose Bleed then he falls on his back seemingly unconscious with a big lewd grin on his face.)

Announcer: YUSUKE URAMESHI IS DOWN! ORIHIME INOUE IS THE WINNER OF THIS YEAR’S KARAKURA HIGH MARTIAL ARTS TOURNAMENT!

(Orihime appeared to be slightly confused at first but then quickly decides to strike a pose for her audience here.)

Chizuru: Yeah! Our Sexy Cute Judo Goddess Orihime is #1!

Keigo: Yeah this is so one of the best final matches this school has seen!

Mizuiro: But… it wasn’t exactly much of a fight.

Keigo: Oh poor sweet naïve Mizuiro, sure this fight lacks any bloody bone crunching action but not all fights need to. It had humor, it had thrills and Orihime’s oh so vast tracts of land were nearly on full display. How can this not be a great finale to the tournament?

Mizuiro: Well… that is true…

Chizuru: Gee Mizuiro I didn’t think a little prude like you would hang out with folks like us.

Keigo: Oh Mizuiro is not as much of a prude as you think Chizuru. But I almost forgot he is more into the older ladies like Miss Unagiya. Though I have heard some interesting rumors like how Orihime & Kyoko do some private things with Miss Unagiya at school every now & then. And on how Miss Unagiya hangs out with this awesome babe with long dark spiky hair and a fake arm who is just as busty as Miss Yankumi. Oh one could only wonder what these stories could mean.

Mizuiro: Hey now Keigo be careful about saying things like that, for all we know they could be just rumors. However I do know that Orihime & Kyoko have become very good friends and I’ve heard that Kyoko was the one who trained Orihime. I’ve also heard that Orihime & Kyoko are going to celebrate this tournament in Orihime’s room tonight.

Chizuru: Ooooohhh… yes, Orihime & Kyoko, two of the sexiest students here in this school. Oh I would practically sell my soul to be in the same bedroom as those two.

Mizuiro: Eh please settle down Chizuru.

Keigo: Eh yeah settle down now…

Chizuru: Oh please like you two aren’t thinking the same thing at all?

Mizuiro (red-faced): Well I uh… I uh…

Keigo: Well that is true.

(Now we cut to Kyoko watching this feeling a bit uncertain.)

Kyoko (thinking): Well not exactly the most legit of wins but a win is a win nevertheless. Okay I get it Yusuke wouldn’t want to leave Orihime as some black-eyed bloody mess with broken bones & teeth everywhere and that is by all means good. But men like Yusuke don’t seem to understand that while violent misogyny is indeed horrible but there is really nothing wrong with giving someone a fair reasonable & honorable duel where nobody gets too hurt. However men like Yusuke tend to scoff at the idea of a “Fair Fight” mainly due to their macho ego. So I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised that Sexual Harassment would be Yusuke’s idea of showing restraint in a fight. The kind of sad part about this is that knowing Orihime she most likely would have no ill will towards Yusuke despite all of his lewd behavior here. *sigh*

Kyoko (thinking, intrigued): Wait a minute; you know maybe we’re not giving Orihime enough credit here. We all thought that Yusuke was manipulating Orihime to get her to show off a lot more cleavage, but how do we know she is not the one manipulating him? Considering all the times that little creep Yusuke was getting nosebleeds around Orihime it looked like she practically had him wrapped around her finger. After all Yusuke is a well-known pervert so how do we know that Orihime didn’t take advantage of that. Oh what a bold play my dear Hime, a bold play indeed.

(Then Kyoko gets hugged from behind by Orihime in which Orihime has her hands on Kyoko’s breasts.)

Orihime: Kyoko!

Kyoko: Orihime! Ah it’s so good to see you, congratulations for winning the Tournament my dear hime.

Orihime (as she lets go and Kyoko turns around): Thank you so much Kyoko, I totally couldn’t have done this without you.

Kyoko: Your quite welcome hime… Hmm? Say Orihime is that blood in your Gi there?

Orihime: Oh this? Yeah it must’ve been the blood coming from Yusuke’s nose when he did that grabbing move on me. Some of the blood must’ve gone on my Gi, good thing most of the blood from Yusuke’s nose got on my breasts instead.

Kyoko: Yeah… good thing… *ahem* Yeah about that, Orihime you really shouldn’t listen to suggestions from perverted little creeps like Yusuke.

Orihime: Oh I dunno it seemed like a pretty good idea at the time as it did help me feel a bit cooler and this Gi still looks good on me, right?

Kyoko: Well that is true.

Orihime: To be honest I never understood why people keep telling me how much of a bad guy Yusuke is, he normally seems very friendly to me.

Kyoko: Eh yes that may be true Orihime that he seems to be rather friendly to you but some of us are a bit concerned that he has… ulterior motives why. Let’s just say some of us felt that it wasn’t much of a match as Yusuke didn’t give you much of a fight.

Orihime: Well like I said before Yusuke is a pretty friendly guy so I’m not surprised that he’d rather play around with me than really fight me. Though I hope I didn’t hurt Yusuke too badly when I did my Judo moves on him.

Kyoko: Eh… I think he would be just fine hime.

Orihime: I hope so when Yusuke had our little chat before the match began he told me that he has a lot of Brain Damage from all the fights he gets into which is why he nosebleeds around me so much.

Kyoko: Well that is one way how to put it… Eh what I mean is, Orihime, I’m sure there are other reasons why Yusuke would have that chronic nose-bleeding condition… *under her breath* a couple of rather big reasons.

Orihime: Okay if you say so, besides not all of my matches went like that.

Kyoko: Well that is true, okay I guess we can forget about that and lets focus on the fun tonight.

Orihime: Sounds wonderful! Should we go do something with Miss Unagiya, Miss Haruko and the folks at Urahara Shop and the like?

Kyoko: We will… in due time, but I want us to spend some alone time together in your room. But we will of course pick up our desert on our way back.

Orihime: You mean get some really good Ice Cream?

Kyoko: Uh-huh

Orihime (as she is hugging Kyoko): Yay! Oh thank you, thank you!

Kyoko: Your quite welcome sweetie.

(Now as Kyoko has her right hand on Orihime’s face.)

Kyoko: Oh yes and later on tonight we can take that slightly blood-soaked gi off and then I will treat you to another one of my massages. And we both know I can be very thorough, oh my dear sweet hime I’ll be having you feeling good tonight.

Orihime (blushing & smiling): Oooh that sounds wonderful Kyoko, though maybe I could also give you a good massage too Kyoko. In fact maybe I can be on top this time when we are at my room later.

Kyoko: Oooh somebody is feeling a little bold & naughty, I like it. Come along my dear hime, tonight is going to be incredible.

Orihime: Yay, let’s go Kyoko.

(Meanwhile a little later on that night outside the Auditorium at a nearby alley Yusuke is being approached by Ichigo & Tatsuki.)

Yusuke: Hey there Ichigo, nice night to take your wife Tatsuki out for a walk huh?

Ichigo: Hello Urameshi.

Tatsuki: Well, well if it isn’t that little prick Yusuke Urameshi. Emphasis on little prick.

Yusuke: Oh my dear sweet Tatsuki you cute Queen of Sexual Tension you. Ah you know how to roast me so well, but are you sure it’s a good idea to flirt with me so much? You know what with the fact that your boy-toy Ichigo is standing there right next to you.

Tatsuki (thinking): Oh Yusuke I’m so going to enjoy your imminent demise later.

Ichigo: Oh Urameshi if you’re as big as your ego is you might actually be imposing for once.

Yusuke: Oh really?

Ichigo: Yeah, I’m a little surprised that you were in the tournament this year Yusuke, almost makes it a shame that Tatsuki and I didn’t sign in for this year’s tournament. After all somebody should knock you down a peg or few.

Yusuke: Really, so Strawberry, you think you can knock me down?

Ichigo: I don’t see why not, after all I’ve done it before.

Yusuke: *tch* Yeah about once.

Ichigo: Oh Yusuke you know very well it was more than once. I have a good fight record too you know. Then again there are many things I have more than you such as fighting skills, intelligence, grades, people skills, hygiene… *stands in front of Yusuke looking down* height.

Yusuke (left eye twitching): Really… *then Yusuke calms down with a cocky smile* so tell me Ichigo why did you and Tatsuki not fight in the Tournament this year? What, did you finally knock Tatsuki up and not want to endanger your future child? After all we all know that Tatsuki has wanted some Strawberry D for quite some time now.

(This causes Ichigo & Tatsuki’s eyes to bulge in shock as their faces are red and their eyes are twitching.)

Tatsuki (gritting her teeth): Oh very funny Yusuke, very funny.

Ichigo (gritting his teeth): For the third this month you little prick, no.

Tatsuki: Anyways I won last year’s tournament, remember? So I figured I would let someone get a chance to come out on top.

Yusuke: Oh yeah I remember last year Tatsuki was #1 while Ichigo was #2. So Ichigo you got to be second best to Tatsuki huh? Oh Tatsuki it must feel wonderful to have such a Beta Boy-Toy huh?

Ichigo: Oh like you have any right to talk Urameshi.

Tatsuki: Yeah this coming from the guy who just got 2nd place in this year’s tournament?

Yusuke: Alright yes I did get 2nd place in this year’s tournament but I managed to get a faceful of Orihime’s oh so gloriously enormous rack and that is more than worth it. So yeah I feel pretty content right about now, though I don’t see why you would be glaring at me Ichigo after all isn’t that how you got 2nd place last year? Namely when Tatsuki got you in a submission hold which while she was crushing your sides with her legs your face was getting comfy upon her tracts of land. Oh that must’ve been so nice huh Ichigo?

Ichigo (red-faced): Well I uh…

Tatsuki (red-faced): Tha… that was completely unintentional!

Yusuke: Riiiight Tatsuki, sure it was, oh it was such a classic moment of “Oh will you two just bone already?” But then again I lucked out this year as I easily got the larger lovepillows to get comfy with.

Ichigo: Yeah well keep in mind Yusuke that while Tatsuki may not be Orihime or Kyoko but her lovepillows aren’t exactly small either.

Yusuke: Really Ichigo and how… pray tell, would you know that, hmm?

(Then Ichigo’s mouth gapes in shock.)

Tatsuki (red-faced): Anyways!

Yusuke: Oh now don’t get me wrong you two, I’m aware that I would not be boning Orihime tonight. But I know that somebody is going to have some fun with her probably even as we speak. Namely how before our match began Orihime was so eager to tell me how she is so going to sleep with Kyoko tonight.

Ichigo & Tatsuki (shocked): WHA?!

Yusuke: Well in a sleepover that is. Though Orihime did tell me that Kyoko was going to give her quite the massage so in other words Orihime will probably have quite the happy ending tonight.

Tatsuki: You see Yusuke times like this have me a little conflicted. Sure I could say that the idea of Orihime & Kyoko being more than just friends is just a rumor but knowing you Yusuke you would so ignore that. But to be fair those two would be better off with each-other than you that is for sure.

Yusuke: Perhaps but still I would pay good money to see what is going on there. Heh heh heh… Aw what’s the matter Tatsuki, a little sore wondering if Orihime dumped you for Kyoko? Can’t say I blame her though for going for a much sexier option there. Hey maybe if you’re lucky you might get a threesome with those two. But knowing you Tatsuki you would most likely settle for your Strawberry boy-toy there.

Ichigo: Yes well at least I’m here with a girl tonight and your not do keep that in mind.

Yusuke: Oh I’m sure I can rectify that Mr. Strawberry, it’s not too late I wonder if I can find Orihime and see if she is still out on her date with Kyoko and see if those two are having some fun or not. Oh I’m going to have some fun tonight.

(Then Ichigo & Tatsuki notice a certain someone right behind Yusuke as they now have quite the sadistic grins on their faces.)

Tatsuki: Really, so what did you mean by that Yusuke?

Keiko: Yeah what did you mean by that Yusuke?

Yusuke (mouth gaping in shock): AH! Uhhh… uhhh…

(As Yusuke now has a sudden and absolute sense of horror and dread as he tries to walk away until Keiko very quickly grabs one of his shoulders.)

Keiko: Where do you think you’re going Yusuke?

Yusuke: *gulp* N… nowhere.

Keiko: Exactly.

Tatsuki (devious giggle): Oh my this is a very interesting turn of events. Say Ichigo, I’ve heard that Orihime thinks that the reason why Yusuke nose-bleeds around her so much and it is because all the fights he has been in have given him lots of Brain Damage. Isn’t that hilarious?

Ichigo: Ah so Yusuke has a lot of Brain Damage? That sounds about right. But I also noticed that Yusuke was so eager to talk about his plans for tonight but not once did he mention Keiko at all, such a shame.

Tatsuki: Oh yes Ichigo it is quite shameful.

Keiko: Yes Yusuke it is shameful, very very shameful.

Yusuke: (Really nervous chuckle)

Ichigo: Well Tatsuki I think it’s time for us to let these crazy kids be.

Tatsuki: Uh-huh buh-bye you two, see you later. *stifled sadistic giggle*

(Then after a brief awkward and very tense silence Yusuke turns around to see Keiko.)

Yusuke: KEIKO! HOW ARE YA?! Nice night huh? You know Keiko I’ve always been quite a believer in good sportsmanship and I was never into that whole “Second Place is for Losers” stuff. Say how about we go and celebrate how I got second place at the School Tournament huh? What do you say? *Keiko cracks her knuckles in front of his face.* Eh… I’ll take that as a no.

Keiko (big smile): Oh Yusuke, I’ve heard that Orihime thinks that the reason why you get nose-bleeds around her so much is because you have a lot of brain damage. Oh dear that sounds serious, well Yusuke I have known you for many years and I can say one thing about you… *sadistic smile* that you are certainly no liar.

Yusuke: Ah yeah Keiko I’m certainly no Li… *eyes widen in shock & fear* ar… *gulp* Oh boy…

THE END
 

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