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The only one I went to see, frankly, was Suicide Squad. Either no time or interest in the rest of them. Albeit I was considering a few.
What Movies Did You See in Theaters in 2016?
- Thread starter Classic Speedy
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Neo Ultra Mike
Creeping Shadow of "15000"+ Posts
I wasn't able to break my record of last year, but I was able to match it and see 100 movies for 2016. And like I've done the last few years I'm going to talk a bit about my top 10 favorite movies of the year, then my top 10 least favorite movies of the year, and then list the other 80 movies I saw this year and what grades I would give them. So with that said
TOP TEN FAVORITE MOVIES OF THE YEAR (Note: If I was grading these movies they would range from an A-/B+ to a straight A).
10. 10 Cloverfield Lane: Again I judge what a movie is based on simply watching it so though sometimes if I am familiar or a fan of a series it can strengthen my enjoyment of a particular movie, it can also do the exact opposite. And sometimes I can come into a sequel or follow up without seeing the previous movie and still get into it, though with this movie you don't really need to know what happens in Cloverfield as this movie has very, very little to do with this. Rather this is a very small scale, very tense and very well done character piece starring pretty much just three people with only the occasional glimpse of the surrounding world and environment. If this film's small cast was not portrayed excellently this would be a terribly dismal slog but all three roles shine magnificentally. Michelle is probably one of the most believable and actually intelligent "stuck in a weird and out there scenario having to adjust" characters I've ever seen and John Goodman strikes the perfect balance between Howard as an actually sympathetic figure to a being that can strike immense fear and anxiety that makes you wonder exactly what is going on. And having that uneasy and panicky feeling throughout whether in just simple conversation scenes to the ending outdoor action makes for one of the most nail biting yet satisfactory feelings I've had all year. And again I'm not a fan of horror which I guess this technically isn't but I still got into this one and am totally on board for the next Cloverfield movie, even if it has nothing to do this with this one. So long as there's this level of talent, I don't need a shakey cam monster or the panic found here, though the later again still made for a very solid experience.
9. Me Before You: There a couple of picks on my list like there probably are every year in the best and worst that are fairly polarizing or "are you kidding this is the opposite of what most people would think" sort of films. Though I think this one was actually pretty split in the group who thought this film was charming and others who find the ideas and resolution presented here fairly sick and twisted and can't get behind that. Kind of similar to Passengers which I also enjoyed even though others didn't, but this one (arguably more polarizing) really got to me and made me feel for the main pair. Again if a romance movie actually makes me buy the relationship and connection between the characters I am fully on board, just like I was with the Longest Ride. Though yeah the ending of this one is well not nearly as uplifting or generally joyous. But despite that the connection between Lou and Will and the time spent on getting there was great. You really felt a progression on her just learning to deal with the guy and then standing up for herself and then encouraging him and Will starting to connect with her. And even in the happier and generally upbeat scenes there is still this darkness lingering that is always kept and IMHO they don't cheap out on the resolution of this movie. It was stated up front what would happen and this movie goes with it but still makes sure to put a proper spin that elicits emotion but still doesn't make the connection feel wasted. I really enjoyed and got into this one and yeah I do wish they had set up Will more before his disability, I still got his rationale and reasoning and attitude and that was the most important thing. Will that and Will and Lou's romance but again that was handled great, which is why it's on this list, though there were some other romances I enjoyed. Like say...
8. Sing Street: Yes I didn't grow up in Ireland, or in the 80's or trying to form a band to impress a girl and actually getting somewhere with this, but I still found so much of this film relatable. Like the best of these movies about teens coming into their own (but IMHO not the best of the year) it does take you back to the insecurities, the obstacles, the hormones and the pressures and trying your best to cope with that. And though the relationship between Conor and Raphina was well handled this also has a lot of great bits with Conor's band, and family and trying to decide whether to leave where you are to see if you can make something or stay in one place to avoid the embarassment and failure you might recieve. There are a lot of great bits of banter, some great catharsis with the ending and a lot of great songs that even if you aren't a super fan of this period of music (which I admit I'm not) there are still a lot of great tunes and bits and seeing how it's presented from behind the scenes tinkering to full blown musical numbers makes for a very enjoyable soundtrack as well. There are better coming of age stories, again we'll get to one further down this list but this is one I saw and really got behind and was glad to pay a visit to this particular street... of singing.... trust me there are wayyyyyy better jokes in the movie if you want to give it a chance.
7. Ghostbusters "Answer The Call" : Here's probably another "controversial" choice. Heck considering the backlash this film got a year after it's release, and even can still receive now, I might still receive flak 20 something years down the line for enjoying this movie, but I don't care. Are there too many plot points and mentions of the previous film, even for those who aren't that familiar with Ghostbusters lore like myself? Yes there are. And you can tell parts of the script were messed with and changed just to take in or out of certain elements that may not of tested that well. However I didn't come into Ghostbusters 2016 to say "oh let's see if this could live up to the first movie." I came in wanting to laugh because this was advertised as a comedy, and laughter and joy is what I got. There are other movies I laughed at more (probably most any of the 6 listed above) but the chuckles I got out of the antics of Abby, Erin, Jillian and Patty going around first discovering the idea of ghosts and then trying to trap them to save New York I found immensly enjoyable and charming. Whether it be the four's banter with themselves, with the enemy, with their idiot of a secretary Kevin, I just found a lot to enjoy and appreciate about this one from top to bottom. Seriously if this level of quality was kept up for a sequel even if it was just having to deal with the same old villains from the original movie, if it was this hilarious I would be all for. And yeah I know a lot of the comedy and bits aren't for everyone (you're either going to find Holtzman dancing around lighting something on fire and then putting it out gut busting or groaning and I am certainly in the former then the later with that) but I still dug it. Heck I even like the Fall Out Boy remix of the song which I know I'm in the minority on but I don't care. With a lot of the original team gone if ghosts come a knocking again, bring on McCarthy, Wiig, Jones, McKinnon, Feig and even FOB and I'll be down to see a busting because they make it feel good.
6. Moana: I don't think liking this movie is considered that shocking, but putting it on a list of the best of 2016 instead of Zootopia probably is. And I saw both but... I did not care for that movie. I didn't hate Zootopia but like Rich Moore's other Disney film Wreck It Ralph saw way more problems and issues and didn't laugh at many jokes or enjoy the pair up that was focused on in this movie. Which certainly wasn't the case for this film. It was probably helped I never saw a regular trailer for this movie and only the teaser so a lot of the plot and character bits in this were surpirsing (heck the trailer makes it seem like Moana's Pig is one of the animal sidekicks in the majority of this movie, which he so is not) even though yes there is a pretty obvious Disney formula that this only strives away for a few things, but not a lot. So there are bits in the beginning and ending that I can see severely annoying people that I admit weren't that enjoyable but they still had enough twist and sense to work. And the rest of the movie was just a total blast. Amazing incredible songs (there is no "Let It Go" here but "How Far I'll Go" is still an awesome anthem and "Shiny" is very amusing and "You're Welcome" is incredibly charmingly memorable), very pretty and lovely animation and of course the charisma and chemistry between the two main leads. Seriously if you do not laugh at least one of the times Maui tries throwing Moana off her boat but she comes back thanks to the ocean I don't want to know what does make you laugh as that got me nearly every time along with so many other great bits and challenges the two went through. It's such an incredibly fun and happy and just upbeat movie that actually does have a very cool climax you rarely see in a Disney movie that just works so much. Even if some is formulaic, what shines best about this movie shows why such formulas are still in place and what wonders they can showcase when brought to their fullest potential. Seriously sans Rich Moore projects Disney has been killing it for me lately and though I'm sad they won't have anything next year still look forward to what they will come out later... even if it involves another Moore project with Wreck It Ralph 2.
5. Now You See Me 2: Speaking of sequels, this is a movie whose first adventure I really enjoyed three years ago and was even hoping back then for the idea of a follow up. And along comes this movie which I honestly enjoy even better. Likely because there isn't an unneeded romance subplot with Dylan's character and now that it's revealed he is in league with the Horsemen actually spends more time interacting and working with them to great affect. Also helped that we have more villains and figures who are able to keep our main heroes in place and make them try even harder and push them even further then we had before. Plus though I liked Isla Fisher's character from the first one, Lizzy Caplan's sass and banter as Lula May with the others is even more entertaining and the fact this has even more magic and misdirection that makes you wonder the process of how they did all these tricks and bits is incredible. Yes there is an amazing load of twists and oddities and swirls for seemingly the sake of swirls and even more blurring the line between the realistic and the fantastical but... in this universe I perfectly accept such oddities and have no problem swallowing the plots lines and story bits this movie comes up with. Heck reading back to what I thought in earlier reviews I made of the first one this even fixes story bits I might of had with the first one to make a more complete picture so yeah... a very charming enjoyable romp of a movie had a sequel I was even more in favor of. I think this is another movie I doubt anyone would agree with me on but I don't care. This is still a series that like Horrible Bosses I was still on board with the second time through even if not a lot of people weren't and if somehow they got enough magic together for the Four Horsemen to come back with more tricks to wow, I'd be on board seeing what other misdirections and turn arounds these guys would come up with next.
4. The Edge Of Seventeen: This is a movie I went into for the most part blind just knowing it involved Hailee Stenfield and Woody Harrerlson. So I didn't know what to expect... however 30 seconds in when Nadine went up to her teacher freaking out about something and saying she'd kill herself and Mr Bruler's sarcastic not buying it response and attitude towards her, I was hooked and totally on board with this. And that feeling kept up through the rest of the 100 mintue running time. This to me is the kind of amazing slice of life story that I loved with Perks of Being a Wallflower or the Way Way Back, except one I've never seen done with a teenage girl. Until now that is and this one hits every nail on the head. As unlike Sing Street I actually have been in a friendship that had problems when a sibling wound up dating the friend I felt a connection with though this one has much different details and differing results. But it's such an understandable scenario and the fact that everyone from the over worked not knowing how to relate to her daughter to the seemingly perfect and generally loved more brother to the geeky awkward shy kid crushing on Nadine to the guy Nadine really wants and so much more really makes this little story feel complete in detailed in all the best ways possible. It feels and plays out realistically and really invests you in this girl and her teenage struggles and again in the wrong hands this could not work and be grating. But this isn't The Duff that pretends to write about a teenage girl's angst and is just going off of terrible untrue cliches. This is dealing with real problems and handling it pitch perfectly for an incredibly heartwarming yet still funny and upbeat story anyone of any age and any gender can enjoy... well I guess if you are Nadine's age and older anyway you should check it out but you get what I mean.
3. Hardcore Henry: A lot of people are going to say 2016 was the year the curse of the video game movie rung true that even in this modern era, you can try in every field and with nearly any game type and still fail to properly connect with a playable franchise coming to the silver screen. They'd be right of course... though only technically. Turns out there really is an awesome totally faithful to a video game and it's aesthetic, structure and tone throughout that is an awesome adraline filled ride with incredible action, hilarious jokes and outright insanity that you would think only make sense if it was based on the plot to the newest title you plopped into an Xbox One or PS4. But it was actually something shown in theaters and though not based on a specific title, this first person movie has the shoot em up, first person view and insane twists and motivation and powers insanity that feel like it is based on something you should be playing. But guiding Henry on his journey of revenge against the orginization who took his girlfriend, expermeinted on him and threw him away and the only help he gets is this odd ball man with multiple jobs and looks is something you can very much just sit there and enjoy experiencing. Seriously they really should try and make a Hardcore Henry game as his missions, boss battles, riding, gunplay and storyline fit the tone way more then the actual movies based on actual video games. And in a way I have to give this film the most props of the year for being something in a sense original and not just based on a specific license made on such a small budget for still being so thouroghly engrossing and amazing. Hats off to the team behind Henry, Jimmy, Akan and others for the thrill ride which from beginning to end gave you nearly what you wanted to see as it was coming across on screen. However much as I enjoy this movie there are two others I do have to give props to more so let's get to them shall we?
2. Deadpool: FOX totally soured the idea of the super hero movie last year with Fan4stic being the last hero property turned movie of 2015, but FOX rebounded quite quickly with a team who actually knew what they were doing, and a crew who actually could bring it's main hero to live. Ryan Reynolds deserves all the props in the world for managing to totally turn around a character screwed over in his last major movie apperance into a beloved icon who may behind one of the most unique shifts in freedom and inspiration for a brand new generation of comic book films who now have a full on example of an R film that can go above what most PG-13 films can in box office profit. But it's not the money that's important this movie made... well yes it is but it's also important that the drama, the comedy, the tone, the romance and the general vibe was pitch perfect here, which is absolutlely was. From the very beginning when you have credits degrading the actors and team who worked on this movie to an ending tag line bagging on the idea of doing them but still getting you exited for the next project, just pretty much every bit in this movie hits. Seriously there are at least 50+ jokes in this one even without bits spoiled by the trailers I laughed at and again that's not including the well orchestrated fights or the romance between Wade and Vanessa and so far being the only X-Men related film not to waste like half the characters and give everyone who has screen time something meaingful to do. This and so many more reasons make this one soar. But in the end as awesome as Deadpool is, it still isn't as good as IMHO the best super hero movie of the year, and best film of the year in general....
1. Captain America: Civil War: Can we just agree that no matter how much someone loves DC and their various characters and storylines, that anything attempted and executed in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice pales in comparison to this movie. Seriously plot, jokes, tone, a billionaire play boy with advance technology having issues with a super powered individual about calamties caused in previous installements of the franchises? This one just delivered perfectly on just about every level what that movie stumbled through in many places. Beyond that though this to me is the perfect advancement of the MCU: now that we live in a world of Avengers we have to live in a world where there is major consequences for their actions taken into consideration and the various feelings and issues the entire cast would have of such a thing. Like Deadpool this one is a super hero movie where every hero feels like they have a purpose and arc but this one is juggling 12 major named protaganists and many other supporting characters and still making you feel like everyone matters and has a role to fill. Everything here is just awesome from the quips about seats being parked too far back to the introduction of heroes not seen on the big screen to ones finally back to where they belong to amazing epic battle sequences to Zemo's goals and plan and how perfectly that ties into the themes and moral grays of this movie, it just all works so well. We'll have to see if Ragnarok is a hit for Thor but Steve Rogers solo movies unlike Tony Stark went out on the most amazing note that can only be topped by grouping together more heroes to see what else lies in store for the Avengers. But whether or not Cap lives to see many more outings as long as they are of this excellent and incredible quality I still am fully behind whatever the MCU dishes out. Some like Doctor Strange may not be up to the totally stellar bar of films like this but if it leads to more Civil Wars... well of you know story importance and constructed narrative quality, I will forever look forward to whatever happens to these heroes.
AND NOW, THE TOP TEN WORST MOVIES OF THE YEAR: (Note: If I was grading these movies they would range from a D+/D to an F+/F).
10. Pete's Dragon: Yeah that's right: in a year with such movies as Ice Age 5 and Nine Lives debuted, this I consider the worst movie. Heck most people would say the only real stinker this year from Disney was Alice Through The Looking Glass which I didn't really like either but found more merit then this movie. This is a case of not having seen the original but as pointed out before that doesn't mean I won't enjoy the remake or follow up. But whether or not I saw the 70's Pete's Dragon doesn't mean I find much of merit in this movie. The opening is one of the most jarring and just out there bits that is suppose to be serious in how Pete lost his parents but comes out down right ridiculous. I could never buy the connection between Pete and the Dragon who doesn't appear cute and charming like the original cartoon but isn't distinctly cool like other dragons to be memorable. Most of the townspeople are just idiots or gawkers who have no proper reaction to what's happening and this one just has a ton of aggreviating cliches that just drag things out. From the kid who has to feel like he needs to keep the secret to the monster seemingly finding his boy but then thinking he doesn't need him and going away to the jerk somehow getting the creature and our rag tag band of misfits trying to get him back. This even has a "oh it tries pretending the monster is dead for a minute and everyone is sad" but then boom dragon is still alive because yeah this movie has no hootspa or agency at all and honestly doesn't do any updates of any kind to justify it's existance in 2016. The only scene I remember having any fun with was Pete trying to run away and climbing on buses and when the kid has the most memorable moment in a film where the starring attraction should be the dragon, that's pretty pathetic. I guess there are going to be people who get something out of this movie and if you do, all the power to you. But this is just lame and weightless trying to be charming but containing really nothing though there are worse contenders in that front I'll get to later.
9. The Bounce Back: Like The Edge of Seventeen I went into this movie knowing NOTHING about it or it's history without really seeing a trailer at all and just seeing what kind of genre the film had. This though turned out to be a mistake as this is one of the most incompetent and downright poorly made movies of the year. From what I found out later after seeing this... thing, I found this was a movie kickstarted whose main appeal was trying to be a romance story that connects a charming author and a neurotic psychatrist who just so happen to be "victims" of previous relationships and getting them together. Not only is this pairing unbelivable and charmless and just feels forced to how they keep meeting and get together, but they ruin it with ridiculous cliche story bits that honestly don't make any sense in retrospect at all. Why would the therapist be upset at the guy for what his friend said and about him not opening up when earlier in the movie she pointed out how long it takes for someone to grow and to actually process their feelings? Even something as baffling and ridiculous as Collaterial Beauty at least know how to committ on that while this throws it away just to have a climax of the guy going to extreme lengths to apologize and showcase his love. Characters and scenarios in this movie just disappear or are gone for long stretches that make it seem like the production of this was totally haphazard without anyone being able to connect the dots, and the performances that are consistent are mostly irritating from the kid actor to the best friend in a very cheap and taped together project that had nothing going for it. Even trash like The Perfect Match had a point and idea of a romance I could get behind that sometimes the person who opens your heart may still not be the one for you. None of that is here and I just feel bad for the poor people who gave money for this movie with how it turned out. Honestly this is a movie I'd be surprised isn't on more worst of lists as I can't even see anything in this one to recommend. Though looking at how poorly this one did, maybe the reason it's not on more worst of lists is I may of been one of the 5 people who saw it. Such box office couldn't happen to a worse movie... except I guess these other 8.
8. The BFG: In 2012 I really hated Frankenweenie which I pretty much described as "gothic atmosphere: the movie". Where instead of telling any clever jokes or characters or story bits or anything that got me to care it just seemed like that movie was run on having shadow and mood and trying to create a look over anything else. Which I guess is a problem a lot of people have with Tim Burton. Just like how a lot of people have a problem with Stephen Speilberg's children movies that can go overboard on the sense of magic and whimsy. Except usually there is a substance and a point and actual depth to those movies. This one though is pretty much just "oh look at the friendship between this girl and this giant. Oh look at how wonderful and whimsical it is and how charming the two's connection is. See these scenes with the music trying depseratley as hard as possible to show how these two are friends and get along now huh huh huh? Isn't that charming? Isn't that incredible? Don't you just get their connection, huh, huh, huhhhhhhhhhhhhh?" Again I'm sure some people really liked this movie but all I felt was Stephen and team trying to make me like this world and this set up without giving any details about what was happening. The girl is just preccious and agape most of the time when she isn't being fairly obnoxious, the BFG has a horribly irritating accent and a lot of gross out jokes and bits that keep constantly getting repeated when they weren't funny the first time. The lame bully giants are just a bunch of jock jerks that maybe made sense as bullies when this story was orginally written but certainly don't now and the last third act takes a weird turn bringing in the British government just to have a reason for a climax and more stupid jokes with the giant. Just a terrible slog IMHO all the way through. Probably not the worst Roald Dahl adapation out there and granted I haven't seen too many but by far the weakest and weightless I've seen, and same with any of Speilberg's works as well.
7. Norm Of The North: It's sad when one of the first films you see of the year is Norm of the North and throughout the rest of the 12 months you somehow still come across half a dozen other terrible films. And we'll get into how those are bad but that doesn't excuse this movie. Heck the fact this was a DTV decided last minute to go to theaters to try and get a few more bucks due to their being no kids movie compettition at the time isn't even an excuse for how outright terrible this is. Even for a movie not made for theaters the animation is really terrible and is either rigid without proper bits of moment of overly fluid and random without direction to it. The characters are all one note cookie cutter stereotypes from the evil captain planet esque villain to the busy business woman just trying to look for her daughter to the Little Mermaid/Happy Feet/Lion King extras you see at the beginning and end of this movie for whatever reason. Which I guess are betting then artic Minions... I mean lemmings who are pretty much trying to be the Minions but... even last year's minion spin off movie actually gave them funny jokes and stuff to interact with while this was just a bunch of excuses for random violence and toliet humor. The plot if you could call it that is filled with so many holes where this problem could of been instant fixed in 5 seconds if anyone even the stupid characters paid any remote attention to their surroundings whatsoever or could actually remember relevant material. Honestly the only justification to this movie's existence is that it's incredibly funny seeing other people tear it to pieces and if you've felt the pain they have there is a great feeling of catharsis seeing them tear into it. But on it's own merit this one is terrible through and through. It had like... two or three lines that made me laugh but when the rest is just pain, that's hardly enough comfort to say anything about this on it's own merits. Seriously making a movie the South Park Rob Scheider Derp De Doo Trailer would likely have more intellegence and thought put into it then this ever would.
6. The Boss: Like in 2013 there seems like a balance between a Melissa McCarthy movie I really dig and get into and provides me with a lot of laughs, and an outright unfunny weak sauce of a movie that really should of been a project she totally avoided. Though Ghostbusters has probably more problems overall then The Heat I don't know if it's as funny so it's a toss up on which movie is better. Though I will say this movie isn't as terrible as Identity Thief which I am still enraged with the general message and attitude and McCarthy's performance in that movie. Since at least in this movie the character she's played is intentionally awful and actually pays for the crimes she commits and they aren't trying to make you sympathetize with someone unfairly who doesn't deserve it. That's not to say this movie is good at all because... lord know it's not. This is pretty much taking what could of been a decent sketch idea of a super rowdy and overly controlling buisness woman who is taken out of her original occupation and tries to get on top in something as ridiculous as selling girl scout cookies but making it 90+ minutes long which doesn't do anyone ANY favors. Not the least of which is Peter Dinkledge who yeah may still be the man as Tyrion Lannister but his movie roles of 2016 were just weak and confusing and I'm pretty sure getting into a fist fight and make out session with Melissa McCarthy's character so randomly will be a low of his career, and this guy was in that Underdog movie a decade ago. There's not really much else to say about a comedy who just swears a lot and fails to get laughs (especially when there's one I also have to tangle with further down the list) except that I found "The Boss" kind of character actually played seriously and with actual emotional complexity more amusing in Miss Sloane which wasn't even a comedy but probably still had more laughs then this really did. Though maybe this flopping (even if it did out perform BvS on it's third weekend) will be a wake up call to McCarthy not to do two movies a year if only one project will be worth doing.
5. Warcraft: Like I said earlier the only video game movie of the year that was actually good was the one that only felt and was acted like a video game but technically wasn't based on the plot or story of an existing title. Since the four actually based on existing licenses in 2016 were.... all pretty worthless and likely not going to change anyone's mind on video game licensed movie. Which was the worst though? Well in my opinion Assassin's Creed though pretty shoddily edited and with a pretty ridiculous plot that doesn't mesh well at least had some decent action scenes and flowed well enough where there were some pretty decent bits every now and then. Ratchet and Clank when following the story of the original game wasn't too bad but when it was trying to be every other kids movie and incoperating story bits from others in the franchises was pretty grating. And Angry Birds had just a lot of puns and stupid humor but could toss a decent sarcastic line every now and then. So there are some positives to those movies which is more then I can say for Warcraft. I admit I'm not a fan that much of the actual Warcraft lore and it seems like those who are can actually get something from the character and settings but those who have no idea what the actual story and point of the MMORPG (and yeah this is based on the original RPG of the series but you get what I mean) are will just feel lost and confused as this tries hurling loads of differing characters and exposition and events and scenes and just doesn't connect with any of them. I didn't care about the humans plot, I didn't care about the orcs plot or the female half human half orc or the mages or this giant battle going on which BTW ends on a total forced cliff hanger that makes no sense other then to try and set up a sequel or tie into what was said into the game. This was just a chore and a pain to get through which should not be the case because though I don't hold the lord of the rings films in as high regard as others, even as a teenager who hadn't read anything about the book I was still able to get invested in the quest of the hobbits dwarves and elves and humans into getting the one ring to mount doom to stop Sauron. I could not find any reason to care about the orcs opening a portal to the world of man to gain energy to save their world and humans fighting back which... I think was the plot of this movie. It's so dry that's all I really care and want to remember which should tell you all you need to know on why I don't care for this film at all.
4. The Wild Life: Yeah that's right: as horrifying and unbelievable as it may be to hear, there actually is a worse animated movie this year then Norm Of The North. Dead serious on that because not only is the general color palette and movement harder to keep track of and less interesting, but on pretty much every other level this movie is worse. Norm of the North had maybe two jokes I liked overall. This had NONE. Norm of the North had an incredibly annoying polar bear voiced by Rob Schneider. Wild Life had an incredibly grating wanting to punch his face every time he came up parrot voiced by James Arnold "any time I use my Johnny Test voice you know you aren't in for a good time" Taylor. This somehow had an even more confusing and incomprehnisble plot on the disconnect between the animals talking to the humans character and them being able to understand Robinson "I sound like an even more lame version of Sasuke/Teenage Ben 10" Curosoe which keeps flip flopping between if they can or not depending on whatever shoddy attempt at humor they go for. This has like at least two major climaxes and the first happens in such a way that you can't believe it's suppose to signify it's the start of the third act and the film is actually wrapping up. There are so many perphirial and unimportant cast members but unlike Norm of the North these animals pop up throughout the entire movie and... man I just can't believe on every level this is the worst movie. And I still hate Norm of the North but this is just a mistake. Norm was a DTV film brought to theaters but this is one of those made by an international company that should of never gotten an English translation made and even if it did it should of been something a studio executive would realize is a horrible mistake to show in theaters and scrap it and later release it years later on DVD. Like Dino Time or Underdogs were. But this somehow kept slipping through the cracks and yeah got on screens. Making kids and everyone who saw it miserable and wondering just why this was allowed to happen. But sadly the world will never know... and yes I'm quoting a Tootsie pop commercial. Trust me Mr. Owl is a ten billion times more likeable bird then Tuesday parrot is in this malarky.
3. Whisky Tango Foxtrot: I wish these lists I do could actually speak to any executive with any sort of sway in Hollywood so I could tell them to STOP GIVING TINA FEY MAIN ROLES IN MOVIES! Yes she is a great talent and writer and has made stuff like 30 Rock and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and done awesome work on Saturday Night Live. And as supporting role, preferably in animated material she works like in Ponyo or Megamind and was very funny in Muppets Most Wanted. But if a film is focused 80% on her shoulders it will just be a waste of a diaster. Admission is a forgettable slog, her voice over in Monkey Kingdom made me wish I was deaf for about an hour, and her role as reporter turned activist here gives literally NOTHING for half the run time. When people say a movie is a slow burn like Star Wars Rogue One that just means that things take awhile to come together but it at least leads to something memorable. This movie is DEAD for it's first half trying to set up parts and pieces of a story or of trying to make poltiically comedic or dramatic jokes about the war but giving absolutely nothing. The idea of a romance and of Fey's character actually doing something actually means there is something that happens in the second half but it isn't anything of merit and value. This movie made me want to go to sleep several times and it couldn't just be for the sake of just being sleepy as after I saw this movie I saw Eddie The Eagle which though not spectacular, was good and was able to keep my attention the entire time. Something I could not do at all for this movie which seemed adament on just puttering along without purpose for two hours. This one feels really sad to put on a list since it was based on something real and I'm sure the actual story is inspiring and interesting but this take on it certainly isn't. And again stop having Tina Fey star in movies. She does not transition well and we've given her multiple chances to try and it clearly doesn't work so... failed experiment so please move on hollywood, okay? *Sighs* Yeah I know talking to myself here but again more interesting then remembering what happened in this movie.
2. Bad Santa 2: Again just because I didn't see the first of a film doesn't mean I'll instantly hate on and not latch onto anything in a follow up if it's actually entertaining and amusing. Heck the comedy sequel Dumb and Dumber To came out TWENTY years after the original and I hadn't seen the first fully but I still really liked that movie and said it was one of my favorites of 2014. That was not the case for this follow up which was literally Billy Bob Thorton, Kathy Bates and Tony Cox making cursing jokes, lewd sex jokes, or insult jokes for 90 minutes without any charm, variety, wit or value to any of them. Maybe this was trying to appeal to the 13 year old audience but... even when I was 13 I had higher standards then that. Heck when I was 13 I really loved the South Park movie (and still do) which yeah had a lot of swearing but... not only were there more jokes but they were put there and had a reason for making so many. The only reason here was that the team working on this thought that was the only thing that made the first movie funny so just kept going on with that. Well when we aren't doing random gross out or pointless call back to the original movie or Thurman doesn't show up to make stupid fat kid jokes and... ugh NOTHING about this movie is funny. At all. I went from being bored to being annoyed to being angry to at the end just pleading, BEGGING the movie to give me something, ANYTHING I could laugh at. ANYTHING that was a step up from the bottom of the barrel crude and terrible material I had recieved. And considering this movie ends with the main character shoving his sack on someone else over the end credits... I obviously didn't get my holiday wish. And it's not like you can't do a Christmas movie with a lot of jokes about sex and swearing and have no laughs in it. I got a lot out of Office Christmas Party which thoguh formulaic was actually funny and actually about something. Even fairly groan and annoying weak sauce like Almost Christmas and Why Him at least had a couple of decent jokes or actual charm and heart that felt like they were representing the holidays. This did not. And you could tell the very few times they tried getting beyond the sex and cursing jokes they were trying, but it just didn't land. So yeah just a terrible worthless unfunny movie thinking swearing makes a joke and... that being it of what it knows about comedy. What could be worse then that? Well..
1. Love And Friendship: Yeah that's right: there were two movies that came out this year that in some sense were based around the Works of Jane Austin... and the nuetered down tepid action mash up Pride Predjuice and Zombies was the better of them. And I didn't like that movie too much but it at least had a couple of moments or performances worth getting midly invested in. This had nothing. I'm sure the play and original story and material Austin herself came up with so long ago holds up and is still a literally must for so many generations of people and is worth doing film adapations of but my god did I hate, HATE this movie. This is somehow even more boring and banal then Whisky Tango Foxtrot as this literally throws three dozen characters at you and explains their story and what Kate Beckingsale's character is going to do using her wit and snobbery to get ahead and screw over everyone else in favor of herself and the movie just does that with people talking dryly to one another throughout the entire run time and... that's it. That... that's a movie to people? I mean this is one of those films that I hate that others seem to generally like and has gained a positive reception and... really, are people that stuck on Jane Austin authetnicity they're going to excuse this as a good film? no just because something is a good book or play does not translate into a film. This is weak, poorly acted, unfunny, uncharming, uninteresting and just horrible all the way around. And I get the point this was going for and what it was trying to say but that doesn't make a movie good especially when it's an old outdated point that doesn't reflect this time so either has to be entertaining or be actually envoloping for the period it's set in, which it certainly isn't. This is just a boring bland... bad, BADDDDDDD movie. And if you like it fine but I hate it and part of me says there's a bunch of prentititous cares all about old novel jerkwads who just enjoy this movie because it's based on an author they like even if the film itself is terrible. And again fine but I don't fall into that which is why I'm fine with saying how much I hate it and why I find it the worst movie of 2016.
And now for the other 80 movies I've seen.
13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (C/C-)
Dirty Grandpa (C+/C)
The 5th Wave (C++)
Kung Fu Panda 3 (B+)
The Finest Hours (C/C-)
Pride And Predjuice And Zombies (D+/D)
Hail, Ceasar! (B)
The Choice (C)
How To Be Single (C+/C)
Zoolander 2 (C-/D++)
Risen (C--/D+)
Race (B+/B)
Gods Of Egypt (CC)
Triple 9 (B/B-)
Zootopia (C/C-)
London Has Fallen (C+)
Eddie The Eagle (BB)
The Perfect Match (C/C-)
The Young Messiah (C++)
The Brothers Grimsby (C--/D+)
The Divergent Series: Allegiant (C)
Miracles From Heaven (B+/B)
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (B-/C+)
Hi, My Name Is Doris (C-)
Midnight Special (C-)
Demoltion (B-/C+)
The Jungle Book (BB)
The Huntsman: Winter's War (C++)
Keanu (B+/B)
Criminal (C)
Ratchet And Clank (C--)
Elvis And Nixon (B+/BB)
Miles Ahead (B/B-)
Money Monster (B++)
The Meddler (B/B-)
The Nice Guys (B+/B)
Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (B/B-)
The Angry Birds Movie (C-)
X-Men: Apocalypse (B)
Alice: Through The Looking Glass (C-)
Dough (B+)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (B--/C++)
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (A-/B+)
Weiner (B)
Finding Dory (C+/C)
Central Intelliegence (C/C-)
Independence Day: Resurgence (C+)
The Legend Of Tarzan (B--)
The Purge: Election Year (B)
The Secret Life Of Pets (C-)
Mike And Dave Need Wedding Dates (B+/B)
The Infilirator (B)
Ice Age: Collision Course (C--)
Bad Moms (B)
Nerve (B-)
Star Trek Beyond (BB)
Suicide Squad (B/B-)
Nine Lives (D++)
Sausage Party (B++)
Kubo And The Two Strings (BB)
War Dogs (BB)
Ben-Hur (B--)
Sully (B)
Storks (B+/B)
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (B)
Doctor Strange (BB)
Arrival (B+)
Trolls (CC/C)
Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them (C++)
Bleed For This (B+/B)
Almost Christmas (C--/D+)
Miss Sloane (B++)
Office Christmas Party (B+)
Rouge One: A Star Wars Movie (B--)
La La Land (C+/C)
Sing (B-/C++)
Collateral Beauty (C/C-)
Passengers (B+)
Assassin's Creed (C+)
Why Him? (C)
And that concludes another epically long list of films I've seen. Hope you enjoyed that... the few people who would read my entire long amount of rambling on these films.
TOP TEN FAVORITE MOVIES OF THE YEAR (Note: If I was grading these movies they would range from an A-/B+ to a straight A).
10. 10 Cloverfield Lane: Again I judge what a movie is based on simply watching it so though sometimes if I am familiar or a fan of a series it can strengthen my enjoyment of a particular movie, it can also do the exact opposite. And sometimes I can come into a sequel or follow up without seeing the previous movie and still get into it, though with this movie you don't really need to know what happens in Cloverfield as this movie has very, very little to do with this. Rather this is a very small scale, very tense and very well done character piece starring pretty much just three people with only the occasional glimpse of the surrounding world and environment. If this film's small cast was not portrayed excellently this would be a terribly dismal slog but all three roles shine magnificentally. Michelle is probably one of the most believable and actually intelligent "stuck in a weird and out there scenario having to adjust" characters I've ever seen and John Goodman strikes the perfect balance between Howard as an actually sympathetic figure to a being that can strike immense fear and anxiety that makes you wonder exactly what is going on. And having that uneasy and panicky feeling throughout whether in just simple conversation scenes to the ending outdoor action makes for one of the most nail biting yet satisfactory feelings I've had all year. And again I'm not a fan of horror which I guess this technically isn't but I still got into this one and am totally on board for the next Cloverfield movie, even if it has nothing to do this with this one. So long as there's this level of talent, I don't need a shakey cam monster or the panic found here, though the later again still made for a very solid experience.
9. Me Before You: There a couple of picks on my list like there probably are every year in the best and worst that are fairly polarizing or "are you kidding this is the opposite of what most people would think" sort of films. Though I think this one was actually pretty split in the group who thought this film was charming and others who find the ideas and resolution presented here fairly sick and twisted and can't get behind that. Kind of similar to Passengers which I also enjoyed even though others didn't, but this one (arguably more polarizing) really got to me and made me feel for the main pair. Again if a romance movie actually makes me buy the relationship and connection between the characters I am fully on board, just like I was with the Longest Ride. Though yeah the ending of this one is well not nearly as uplifting or generally joyous. But despite that the connection between Lou and Will and the time spent on getting there was great. You really felt a progression on her just learning to deal with the guy and then standing up for herself and then encouraging him and Will starting to connect with her. And even in the happier and generally upbeat scenes there is still this darkness lingering that is always kept and IMHO they don't cheap out on the resolution of this movie. It was stated up front what would happen and this movie goes with it but still makes sure to put a proper spin that elicits emotion but still doesn't make the connection feel wasted. I really enjoyed and got into this one and yeah I do wish they had set up Will more before his disability, I still got his rationale and reasoning and attitude and that was the most important thing. Will that and Will and Lou's romance but again that was handled great, which is why it's on this list, though there were some other romances I enjoyed. Like say...
8. Sing Street: Yes I didn't grow up in Ireland, or in the 80's or trying to form a band to impress a girl and actually getting somewhere with this, but I still found so much of this film relatable. Like the best of these movies about teens coming into their own (but IMHO not the best of the year) it does take you back to the insecurities, the obstacles, the hormones and the pressures and trying your best to cope with that. And though the relationship between Conor and Raphina was well handled this also has a lot of great bits with Conor's band, and family and trying to decide whether to leave where you are to see if you can make something or stay in one place to avoid the embarassment and failure you might recieve. There are a lot of great bits of banter, some great catharsis with the ending and a lot of great songs that even if you aren't a super fan of this period of music (which I admit I'm not) there are still a lot of great tunes and bits and seeing how it's presented from behind the scenes tinkering to full blown musical numbers makes for a very enjoyable soundtrack as well. There are better coming of age stories, again we'll get to one further down this list but this is one I saw and really got behind and was glad to pay a visit to this particular street... of singing.... trust me there are wayyyyyy better jokes in the movie if you want to give it a chance.
7. Ghostbusters "Answer The Call" : Here's probably another "controversial" choice. Heck considering the backlash this film got a year after it's release, and even can still receive now, I might still receive flak 20 something years down the line for enjoying this movie, but I don't care. Are there too many plot points and mentions of the previous film, even for those who aren't that familiar with Ghostbusters lore like myself? Yes there are. And you can tell parts of the script were messed with and changed just to take in or out of certain elements that may not of tested that well. However I didn't come into Ghostbusters 2016 to say "oh let's see if this could live up to the first movie." I came in wanting to laugh because this was advertised as a comedy, and laughter and joy is what I got. There are other movies I laughed at more (probably most any of the 6 listed above) but the chuckles I got out of the antics of Abby, Erin, Jillian and Patty going around first discovering the idea of ghosts and then trying to trap them to save New York I found immensly enjoyable and charming. Whether it be the four's banter with themselves, with the enemy, with their idiot of a secretary Kevin, I just found a lot to enjoy and appreciate about this one from top to bottom. Seriously if this level of quality was kept up for a sequel even if it was just having to deal with the same old villains from the original movie, if it was this hilarious I would be all for. And yeah I know a lot of the comedy and bits aren't for everyone (you're either going to find Holtzman dancing around lighting something on fire and then putting it out gut busting or groaning and I am certainly in the former then the later with that) but I still dug it. Heck I even like the Fall Out Boy remix of the song which I know I'm in the minority on but I don't care. With a lot of the original team gone if ghosts come a knocking again, bring on McCarthy, Wiig, Jones, McKinnon, Feig and even FOB and I'll be down to see a busting because they make it feel good.
6. Moana: I don't think liking this movie is considered that shocking, but putting it on a list of the best of 2016 instead of Zootopia probably is. And I saw both but... I did not care for that movie. I didn't hate Zootopia but like Rich Moore's other Disney film Wreck It Ralph saw way more problems and issues and didn't laugh at many jokes or enjoy the pair up that was focused on in this movie. Which certainly wasn't the case for this film. It was probably helped I never saw a regular trailer for this movie and only the teaser so a lot of the plot and character bits in this were surpirsing (heck the trailer makes it seem like Moana's Pig is one of the animal sidekicks in the majority of this movie, which he so is not) even though yes there is a pretty obvious Disney formula that this only strives away for a few things, but not a lot. So there are bits in the beginning and ending that I can see severely annoying people that I admit weren't that enjoyable but they still had enough twist and sense to work. And the rest of the movie was just a total blast. Amazing incredible songs (there is no "Let It Go" here but "How Far I'll Go" is still an awesome anthem and "Shiny" is very amusing and "You're Welcome" is incredibly charmingly memorable), very pretty and lovely animation and of course the charisma and chemistry between the two main leads. Seriously if you do not laugh at least one of the times Maui tries throwing Moana off her boat but she comes back thanks to the ocean I don't want to know what does make you laugh as that got me nearly every time along with so many other great bits and challenges the two went through. It's such an incredibly fun and happy and just upbeat movie that actually does have a very cool climax you rarely see in a Disney movie that just works so much. Even if some is formulaic, what shines best about this movie shows why such formulas are still in place and what wonders they can showcase when brought to their fullest potential. Seriously sans Rich Moore projects Disney has been killing it for me lately and though I'm sad they won't have anything next year still look forward to what they will come out later... even if it involves another Moore project with Wreck It Ralph 2.
5. Now You See Me 2: Speaking of sequels, this is a movie whose first adventure I really enjoyed three years ago and was even hoping back then for the idea of a follow up. And along comes this movie which I honestly enjoy even better. Likely because there isn't an unneeded romance subplot with Dylan's character and now that it's revealed he is in league with the Horsemen actually spends more time interacting and working with them to great affect. Also helped that we have more villains and figures who are able to keep our main heroes in place and make them try even harder and push them even further then we had before. Plus though I liked Isla Fisher's character from the first one, Lizzy Caplan's sass and banter as Lula May with the others is even more entertaining and the fact this has even more magic and misdirection that makes you wonder the process of how they did all these tricks and bits is incredible. Yes there is an amazing load of twists and oddities and swirls for seemingly the sake of swirls and even more blurring the line between the realistic and the fantastical but... in this universe I perfectly accept such oddities and have no problem swallowing the plots lines and story bits this movie comes up with. Heck reading back to what I thought in earlier reviews I made of the first one this even fixes story bits I might of had with the first one to make a more complete picture so yeah... a very charming enjoyable romp of a movie had a sequel I was even more in favor of. I think this is another movie I doubt anyone would agree with me on but I don't care. This is still a series that like Horrible Bosses I was still on board with the second time through even if not a lot of people weren't and if somehow they got enough magic together for the Four Horsemen to come back with more tricks to wow, I'd be on board seeing what other misdirections and turn arounds these guys would come up with next.
4. The Edge Of Seventeen: This is a movie I went into for the most part blind just knowing it involved Hailee Stenfield and Woody Harrerlson. So I didn't know what to expect... however 30 seconds in when Nadine went up to her teacher freaking out about something and saying she'd kill herself and Mr Bruler's sarcastic not buying it response and attitude towards her, I was hooked and totally on board with this. And that feeling kept up through the rest of the 100 mintue running time. This to me is the kind of amazing slice of life story that I loved with Perks of Being a Wallflower or the Way Way Back, except one I've never seen done with a teenage girl. Until now that is and this one hits every nail on the head. As unlike Sing Street I actually have been in a friendship that had problems when a sibling wound up dating the friend I felt a connection with though this one has much different details and differing results. But it's such an understandable scenario and the fact that everyone from the over worked not knowing how to relate to her daughter to the seemingly perfect and generally loved more brother to the geeky awkward shy kid crushing on Nadine to the guy Nadine really wants and so much more really makes this little story feel complete in detailed in all the best ways possible. It feels and plays out realistically and really invests you in this girl and her teenage struggles and again in the wrong hands this could not work and be grating. But this isn't The Duff that pretends to write about a teenage girl's angst and is just going off of terrible untrue cliches. This is dealing with real problems and handling it pitch perfectly for an incredibly heartwarming yet still funny and upbeat story anyone of any age and any gender can enjoy... well I guess if you are Nadine's age and older anyway you should check it out but you get what I mean.
3. Hardcore Henry: A lot of people are going to say 2016 was the year the curse of the video game movie rung true that even in this modern era, you can try in every field and with nearly any game type and still fail to properly connect with a playable franchise coming to the silver screen. They'd be right of course... though only technically. Turns out there really is an awesome totally faithful to a video game and it's aesthetic, structure and tone throughout that is an awesome adraline filled ride with incredible action, hilarious jokes and outright insanity that you would think only make sense if it was based on the plot to the newest title you plopped into an Xbox One or PS4. But it was actually something shown in theaters and though not based on a specific title, this first person movie has the shoot em up, first person view and insane twists and motivation and powers insanity that feel like it is based on something you should be playing. But guiding Henry on his journey of revenge against the orginization who took his girlfriend, expermeinted on him and threw him away and the only help he gets is this odd ball man with multiple jobs and looks is something you can very much just sit there and enjoy experiencing. Seriously they really should try and make a Hardcore Henry game as his missions, boss battles, riding, gunplay and storyline fit the tone way more then the actual movies based on actual video games. And in a way I have to give this film the most props of the year for being something in a sense original and not just based on a specific license made on such a small budget for still being so thouroghly engrossing and amazing. Hats off to the team behind Henry, Jimmy, Akan and others for the thrill ride which from beginning to end gave you nearly what you wanted to see as it was coming across on screen. However much as I enjoy this movie there are two others I do have to give props to more so let's get to them shall we?
2. Deadpool: FOX totally soured the idea of the super hero movie last year with Fan4stic being the last hero property turned movie of 2015, but FOX rebounded quite quickly with a team who actually knew what they were doing, and a crew who actually could bring it's main hero to live. Ryan Reynolds deserves all the props in the world for managing to totally turn around a character screwed over in his last major movie apperance into a beloved icon who may behind one of the most unique shifts in freedom and inspiration for a brand new generation of comic book films who now have a full on example of an R film that can go above what most PG-13 films can in box office profit. But it's not the money that's important this movie made... well yes it is but it's also important that the drama, the comedy, the tone, the romance and the general vibe was pitch perfect here, which is absolutlely was. From the very beginning when you have credits degrading the actors and team who worked on this movie to an ending tag line bagging on the idea of doing them but still getting you exited for the next project, just pretty much every bit in this movie hits. Seriously there are at least 50+ jokes in this one even without bits spoiled by the trailers I laughed at and again that's not including the well orchestrated fights or the romance between Wade and Vanessa and so far being the only X-Men related film not to waste like half the characters and give everyone who has screen time something meaingful to do. This and so many more reasons make this one soar. But in the end as awesome as Deadpool is, it still isn't as good as IMHO the best super hero movie of the year, and best film of the year in general....
1. Captain America: Civil War: Can we just agree that no matter how much someone loves DC and their various characters and storylines, that anything attempted and executed in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice pales in comparison to this movie. Seriously plot, jokes, tone, a billionaire play boy with advance technology having issues with a super powered individual about calamties caused in previous installements of the franchises? This one just delivered perfectly on just about every level what that movie stumbled through in many places. Beyond that though this to me is the perfect advancement of the MCU: now that we live in a world of Avengers we have to live in a world where there is major consequences for their actions taken into consideration and the various feelings and issues the entire cast would have of such a thing. Like Deadpool this one is a super hero movie where every hero feels like they have a purpose and arc but this one is juggling 12 major named protaganists and many other supporting characters and still making you feel like everyone matters and has a role to fill. Everything here is just awesome from the quips about seats being parked too far back to the introduction of heroes not seen on the big screen to ones finally back to where they belong to amazing epic battle sequences to Zemo's goals and plan and how perfectly that ties into the themes and moral grays of this movie, it just all works so well. We'll have to see if Ragnarok is a hit for Thor but Steve Rogers solo movies unlike Tony Stark went out on the most amazing note that can only be topped by grouping together more heroes to see what else lies in store for the Avengers. But whether or not Cap lives to see many more outings as long as they are of this excellent and incredible quality I still am fully behind whatever the MCU dishes out. Some like Doctor Strange may not be up to the totally stellar bar of films like this but if it leads to more Civil Wars... well of you know story importance and constructed narrative quality, I will forever look forward to whatever happens to these heroes.
AND NOW, THE TOP TEN WORST MOVIES OF THE YEAR: (Note: If I was grading these movies they would range from a D+/D to an F+/F).
10. Pete's Dragon: Yeah that's right: in a year with such movies as Ice Age 5 and Nine Lives debuted, this I consider the worst movie. Heck most people would say the only real stinker this year from Disney was Alice Through The Looking Glass which I didn't really like either but found more merit then this movie. This is a case of not having seen the original but as pointed out before that doesn't mean I won't enjoy the remake or follow up. But whether or not I saw the 70's Pete's Dragon doesn't mean I find much of merit in this movie. The opening is one of the most jarring and just out there bits that is suppose to be serious in how Pete lost his parents but comes out down right ridiculous. I could never buy the connection between Pete and the Dragon who doesn't appear cute and charming like the original cartoon but isn't distinctly cool like other dragons to be memorable. Most of the townspeople are just idiots or gawkers who have no proper reaction to what's happening and this one just has a ton of aggreviating cliches that just drag things out. From the kid who has to feel like he needs to keep the secret to the monster seemingly finding his boy but then thinking he doesn't need him and going away to the jerk somehow getting the creature and our rag tag band of misfits trying to get him back. This even has a "oh it tries pretending the monster is dead for a minute and everyone is sad" but then boom dragon is still alive because yeah this movie has no hootspa or agency at all and honestly doesn't do any updates of any kind to justify it's existance in 2016. The only scene I remember having any fun with was Pete trying to run away and climbing on buses and when the kid has the most memorable moment in a film where the starring attraction should be the dragon, that's pretty pathetic. I guess there are going to be people who get something out of this movie and if you do, all the power to you. But this is just lame and weightless trying to be charming but containing really nothing though there are worse contenders in that front I'll get to later.
9. The Bounce Back: Like The Edge of Seventeen I went into this movie knowing NOTHING about it or it's history without really seeing a trailer at all and just seeing what kind of genre the film had. This though turned out to be a mistake as this is one of the most incompetent and downright poorly made movies of the year. From what I found out later after seeing this... thing, I found this was a movie kickstarted whose main appeal was trying to be a romance story that connects a charming author and a neurotic psychatrist who just so happen to be "victims" of previous relationships and getting them together. Not only is this pairing unbelivable and charmless and just feels forced to how they keep meeting and get together, but they ruin it with ridiculous cliche story bits that honestly don't make any sense in retrospect at all. Why would the therapist be upset at the guy for what his friend said and about him not opening up when earlier in the movie she pointed out how long it takes for someone to grow and to actually process their feelings? Even something as baffling and ridiculous as Collaterial Beauty at least know how to committ on that while this throws it away just to have a climax of the guy going to extreme lengths to apologize and showcase his love. Characters and scenarios in this movie just disappear or are gone for long stretches that make it seem like the production of this was totally haphazard without anyone being able to connect the dots, and the performances that are consistent are mostly irritating from the kid actor to the best friend in a very cheap and taped together project that had nothing going for it. Even trash like The Perfect Match had a point and idea of a romance I could get behind that sometimes the person who opens your heart may still not be the one for you. None of that is here and I just feel bad for the poor people who gave money for this movie with how it turned out. Honestly this is a movie I'd be surprised isn't on more worst of lists as I can't even see anything in this one to recommend. Though looking at how poorly this one did, maybe the reason it's not on more worst of lists is I may of been one of the 5 people who saw it. Such box office couldn't happen to a worse movie... except I guess these other 8.
8. The BFG: In 2012 I really hated Frankenweenie which I pretty much described as "gothic atmosphere: the movie". Where instead of telling any clever jokes or characters or story bits or anything that got me to care it just seemed like that movie was run on having shadow and mood and trying to create a look over anything else. Which I guess is a problem a lot of people have with Tim Burton. Just like how a lot of people have a problem with Stephen Speilberg's children movies that can go overboard on the sense of magic and whimsy. Except usually there is a substance and a point and actual depth to those movies. This one though is pretty much just "oh look at the friendship between this girl and this giant. Oh look at how wonderful and whimsical it is and how charming the two's connection is. See these scenes with the music trying depseratley as hard as possible to show how these two are friends and get along now huh huh huh? Isn't that charming? Isn't that incredible? Don't you just get their connection, huh, huh, huhhhhhhhhhhhhh?" Again I'm sure some people really liked this movie but all I felt was Stephen and team trying to make me like this world and this set up without giving any details about what was happening. The girl is just preccious and agape most of the time when she isn't being fairly obnoxious, the BFG has a horribly irritating accent and a lot of gross out jokes and bits that keep constantly getting repeated when they weren't funny the first time. The lame bully giants are just a bunch of jock jerks that maybe made sense as bullies when this story was orginally written but certainly don't now and the last third act takes a weird turn bringing in the British government just to have a reason for a climax and more stupid jokes with the giant. Just a terrible slog IMHO all the way through. Probably not the worst Roald Dahl adapation out there and granted I haven't seen too many but by far the weakest and weightless I've seen, and same with any of Speilberg's works as well.
7. Norm Of The North: It's sad when one of the first films you see of the year is Norm of the North and throughout the rest of the 12 months you somehow still come across half a dozen other terrible films. And we'll get into how those are bad but that doesn't excuse this movie. Heck the fact this was a DTV decided last minute to go to theaters to try and get a few more bucks due to their being no kids movie compettition at the time isn't even an excuse for how outright terrible this is. Even for a movie not made for theaters the animation is really terrible and is either rigid without proper bits of moment of overly fluid and random without direction to it. The characters are all one note cookie cutter stereotypes from the evil captain planet esque villain to the busy business woman just trying to look for her daughter to the Little Mermaid/Happy Feet/Lion King extras you see at the beginning and end of this movie for whatever reason. Which I guess are betting then artic Minions... I mean lemmings who are pretty much trying to be the Minions but... even last year's minion spin off movie actually gave them funny jokes and stuff to interact with while this was just a bunch of excuses for random violence and toliet humor. The plot if you could call it that is filled with so many holes where this problem could of been instant fixed in 5 seconds if anyone even the stupid characters paid any remote attention to their surroundings whatsoever or could actually remember relevant material. Honestly the only justification to this movie's existence is that it's incredibly funny seeing other people tear it to pieces and if you've felt the pain they have there is a great feeling of catharsis seeing them tear into it. But on it's own merit this one is terrible through and through. It had like... two or three lines that made me laugh but when the rest is just pain, that's hardly enough comfort to say anything about this on it's own merits. Seriously making a movie the South Park Rob Scheider Derp De Doo Trailer would likely have more intellegence and thought put into it then this ever would.
6. The Boss: Like in 2013 there seems like a balance between a Melissa McCarthy movie I really dig and get into and provides me with a lot of laughs, and an outright unfunny weak sauce of a movie that really should of been a project she totally avoided. Though Ghostbusters has probably more problems overall then The Heat I don't know if it's as funny so it's a toss up on which movie is better. Though I will say this movie isn't as terrible as Identity Thief which I am still enraged with the general message and attitude and McCarthy's performance in that movie. Since at least in this movie the character she's played is intentionally awful and actually pays for the crimes she commits and they aren't trying to make you sympathetize with someone unfairly who doesn't deserve it. That's not to say this movie is good at all because... lord know it's not. This is pretty much taking what could of been a decent sketch idea of a super rowdy and overly controlling buisness woman who is taken out of her original occupation and tries to get on top in something as ridiculous as selling girl scout cookies but making it 90+ minutes long which doesn't do anyone ANY favors. Not the least of which is Peter Dinkledge who yeah may still be the man as Tyrion Lannister but his movie roles of 2016 were just weak and confusing and I'm pretty sure getting into a fist fight and make out session with Melissa McCarthy's character so randomly will be a low of his career, and this guy was in that Underdog movie a decade ago. There's not really much else to say about a comedy who just swears a lot and fails to get laughs (especially when there's one I also have to tangle with further down the list) except that I found "The Boss" kind of character actually played seriously and with actual emotional complexity more amusing in Miss Sloane which wasn't even a comedy but probably still had more laughs then this really did. Though maybe this flopping (even if it did out perform BvS on it's third weekend) will be a wake up call to McCarthy not to do two movies a year if only one project will be worth doing.
5. Warcraft: Like I said earlier the only video game movie of the year that was actually good was the one that only felt and was acted like a video game but technically wasn't based on the plot or story of an existing title. Since the four actually based on existing licenses in 2016 were.... all pretty worthless and likely not going to change anyone's mind on video game licensed movie. Which was the worst though? Well in my opinion Assassin's Creed though pretty shoddily edited and with a pretty ridiculous plot that doesn't mesh well at least had some decent action scenes and flowed well enough where there were some pretty decent bits every now and then. Ratchet and Clank when following the story of the original game wasn't too bad but when it was trying to be every other kids movie and incoperating story bits from others in the franchises was pretty grating. And Angry Birds had just a lot of puns and stupid humor but could toss a decent sarcastic line every now and then. So there are some positives to those movies which is more then I can say for Warcraft. I admit I'm not a fan that much of the actual Warcraft lore and it seems like those who are can actually get something from the character and settings but those who have no idea what the actual story and point of the MMORPG (and yeah this is based on the original RPG of the series but you get what I mean) are will just feel lost and confused as this tries hurling loads of differing characters and exposition and events and scenes and just doesn't connect with any of them. I didn't care about the humans plot, I didn't care about the orcs plot or the female half human half orc or the mages or this giant battle going on which BTW ends on a total forced cliff hanger that makes no sense other then to try and set up a sequel or tie into what was said into the game. This was just a chore and a pain to get through which should not be the case because though I don't hold the lord of the rings films in as high regard as others, even as a teenager who hadn't read anything about the book I was still able to get invested in the quest of the hobbits dwarves and elves and humans into getting the one ring to mount doom to stop Sauron. I could not find any reason to care about the orcs opening a portal to the world of man to gain energy to save their world and humans fighting back which... I think was the plot of this movie. It's so dry that's all I really care and want to remember which should tell you all you need to know on why I don't care for this film at all.
4. The Wild Life: Yeah that's right: as horrifying and unbelievable as it may be to hear, there actually is a worse animated movie this year then Norm Of The North. Dead serious on that because not only is the general color palette and movement harder to keep track of and less interesting, but on pretty much every other level this movie is worse. Norm of the North had maybe two jokes I liked overall. This had NONE. Norm of the North had an incredibly annoying polar bear voiced by Rob Schneider. Wild Life had an incredibly grating wanting to punch his face every time he came up parrot voiced by James Arnold "any time I use my Johnny Test voice you know you aren't in for a good time" Taylor. This somehow had an even more confusing and incomprehnisble plot on the disconnect between the animals talking to the humans character and them being able to understand Robinson "I sound like an even more lame version of Sasuke/Teenage Ben 10" Curosoe which keeps flip flopping between if they can or not depending on whatever shoddy attempt at humor they go for. This has like at least two major climaxes and the first happens in such a way that you can't believe it's suppose to signify it's the start of the third act and the film is actually wrapping up. There are so many perphirial and unimportant cast members but unlike Norm of the North these animals pop up throughout the entire movie and... man I just can't believe on every level this is the worst movie. And I still hate Norm of the North but this is just a mistake. Norm was a DTV film brought to theaters but this is one of those made by an international company that should of never gotten an English translation made and even if it did it should of been something a studio executive would realize is a horrible mistake to show in theaters and scrap it and later release it years later on DVD. Like Dino Time or Underdogs were. But this somehow kept slipping through the cracks and yeah got on screens. Making kids and everyone who saw it miserable and wondering just why this was allowed to happen. But sadly the world will never know... and yes I'm quoting a Tootsie pop commercial. Trust me Mr. Owl is a ten billion times more likeable bird then Tuesday parrot is in this malarky.
3. Whisky Tango Foxtrot: I wish these lists I do could actually speak to any executive with any sort of sway in Hollywood so I could tell them to STOP GIVING TINA FEY MAIN ROLES IN MOVIES! Yes she is a great talent and writer and has made stuff like 30 Rock and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and done awesome work on Saturday Night Live. And as supporting role, preferably in animated material she works like in Ponyo or Megamind and was very funny in Muppets Most Wanted. But if a film is focused 80% on her shoulders it will just be a waste of a diaster. Admission is a forgettable slog, her voice over in Monkey Kingdom made me wish I was deaf for about an hour, and her role as reporter turned activist here gives literally NOTHING for half the run time. When people say a movie is a slow burn like Star Wars Rogue One that just means that things take awhile to come together but it at least leads to something memorable. This movie is DEAD for it's first half trying to set up parts and pieces of a story or of trying to make poltiically comedic or dramatic jokes about the war but giving absolutely nothing. The idea of a romance and of Fey's character actually doing something actually means there is something that happens in the second half but it isn't anything of merit and value. This movie made me want to go to sleep several times and it couldn't just be for the sake of just being sleepy as after I saw this movie I saw Eddie The Eagle which though not spectacular, was good and was able to keep my attention the entire time. Something I could not do at all for this movie which seemed adament on just puttering along without purpose for two hours. This one feels really sad to put on a list since it was based on something real and I'm sure the actual story is inspiring and interesting but this take on it certainly isn't. And again stop having Tina Fey star in movies. She does not transition well and we've given her multiple chances to try and it clearly doesn't work so... failed experiment so please move on hollywood, okay? *Sighs* Yeah I know talking to myself here but again more interesting then remembering what happened in this movie.
2. Bad Santa 2: Again just because I didn't see the first of a film doesn't mean I'll instantly hate on and not latch onto anything in a follow up if it's actually entertaining and amusing. Heck the comedy sequel Dumb and Dumber To came out TWENTY years after the original and I hadn't seen the first fully but I still really liked that movie and said it was one of my favorites of 2014. That was not the case for this follow up which was literally Billy Bob Thorton, Kathy Bates and Tony Cox making cursing jokes, lewd sex jokes, or insult jokes for 90 minutes without any charm, variety, wit or value to any of them. Maybe this was trying to appeal to the 13 year old audience but... even when I was 13 I had higher standards then that. Heck when I was 13 I really loved the South Park movie (and still do) which yeah had a lot of swearing but... not only were there more jokes but they were put there and had a reason for making so many. The only reason here was that the team working on this thought that was the only thing that made the first movie funny so just kept going on with that. Well when we aren't doing random gross out or pointless call back to the original movie or Thurman doesn't show up to make stupid fat kid jokes and... ugh NOTHING about this movie is funny. At all. I went from being bored to being annoyed to being angry to at the end just pleading, BEGGING the movie to give me something, ANYTHING I could laugh at. ANYTHING that was a step up from the bottom of the barrel crude and terrible material I had recieved. And considering this movie ends with the main character shoving his sack on someone else over the end credits... I obviously didn't get my holiday wish. And it's not like you can't do a Christmas movie with a lot of jokes about sex and swearing and have no laughs in it. I got a lot out of Office Christmas Party which thoguh formulaic was actually funny and actually about something. Even fairly groan and annoying weak sauce like Almost Christmas and Why Him at least had a couple of decent jokes or actual charm and heart that felt like they were representing the holidays. This did not. And you could tell the very few times they tried getting beyond the sex and cursing jokes they were trying, but it just didn't land. So yeah just a terrible worthless unfunny movie thinking swearing makes a joke and... that being it of what it knows about comedy. What could be worse then that? Well..
1. Love And Friendship: Yeah that's right: there were two movies that came out this year that in some sense were based around the Works of Jane Austin... and the nuetered down tepid action mash up Pride Predjuice and Zombies was the better of them. And I didn't like that movie too much but it at least had a couple of moments or performances worth getting midly invested in. This had nothing. I'm sure the play and original story and material Austin herself came up with so long ago holds up and is still a literally must for so many generations of people and is worth doing film adapations of but my god did I hate, HATE this movie. This is somehow even more boring and banal then Whisky Tango Foxtrot as this literally throws three dozen characters at you and explains their story and what Kate Beckingsale's character is going to do using her wit and snobbery to get ahead and screw over everyone else in favor of herself and the movie just does that with people talking dryly to one another throughout the entire run time and... that's it. That... that's a movie to people? I mean this is one of those films that I hate that others seem to generally like and has gained a positive reception and... really, are people that stuck on Jane Austin authetnicity they're going to excuse this as a good film? no just because something is a good book or play does not translate into a film. This is weak, poorly acted, unfunny, uncharming, uninteresting and just horrible all the way around. And I get the point this was going for and what it was trying to say but that doesn't make a movie good especially when it's an old outdated point that doesn't reflect this time so either has to be entertaining or be actually envoloping for the period it's set in, which it certainly isn't. This is just a boring bland... bad, BADDDDDDD movie. And if you like it fine but I hate it and part of me says there's a bunch of prentititous cares all about old novel jerkwads who just enjoy this movie because it's based on an author they like even if the film itself is terrible. And again fine but I don't fall into that which is why I'm fine with saying how much I hate it and why I find it the worst movie of 2016.
And now for the other 80 movies I've seen.
13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi (C/C-)
Dirty Grandpa (C+/C)
The 5th Wave (C++)
Kung Fu Panda 3 (B+)
The Finest Hours (C/C-)
Pride And Predjuice And Zombies (D+/D)
Hail, Ceasar! (B)
The Choice (C)
How To Be Single (C+/C)
Zoolander 2 (C-/D++)
Risen (C--/D+)
Race (B+/B)
Gods Of Egypt (CC)
Triple 9 (B/B-)
Zootopia (C/C-)
London Has Fallen (C+)
Eddie The Eagle (BB)
The Perfect Match (C/C-)
The Young Messiah (C++)
The Brothers Grimsby (C--/D+)
The Divergent Series: Allegiant (C)
Miracles From Heaven (B+/B)
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (B-/C+)
Hi, My Name Is Doris (C-)
Midnight Special (C-)
Demoltion (B-/C+)
The Jungle Book (BB)
The Huntsman: Winter's War (C++)
Keanu (B+/B)
Criminal (C)
Ratchet And Clank (C--)
Elvis And Nixon (B+/BB)
Miles Ahead (B/B-)
Money Monster (B++)
The Meddler (B/B-)
The Nice Guys (B+/B)
Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (B/B-)
The Angry Birds Movie (C-)
X-Men: Apocalypse (B)
Alice: Through The Looking Glass (C-)
Dough (B+)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows (B--/C++)
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (A-/B+)
Weiner (B)
Finding Dory (C+/C)
Central Intelliegence (C/C-)
Independence Day: Resurgence (C+)
The Legend Of Tarzan (B--)
The Purge: Election Year (B)
The Secret Life Of Pets (C-)
Mike And Dave Need Wedding Dates (B+/B)
The Infilirator (B)
Ice Age: Collision Course (C--)
Bad Moms (B)
Nerve (B-)
Star Trek Beyond (BB)
Suicide Squad (B/B-)
Nine Lives (D++)
Sausage Party (B++)
Kubo And The Two Strings (BB)
War Dogs (BB)
Ben-Hur (B--)
Sully (B)
Storks (B+/B)
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (B)
Doctor Strange (BB)
Arrival (B+)
Trolls (CC/C)
Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them (C++)
Bleed For This (B+/B)
Almost Christmas (C--/D+)
Miss Sloane (B++)
Office Christmas Party (B+)
Rouge One: A Star Wars Movie (B--)
La La Land (C+/C)
Sing (B-/C++)
Collateral Beauty (C/C-)
Passengers (B+)
Assassin's Creed (C+)
Why Him? (C)
And that concludes another epically long list of films I've seen. Hope you enjoyed that... the few people who would read my entire long amount of rambling on these films.
Last edited:
Trombone77
Active Member
I went to go see Zootopia, Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, Captain America: Civil War, Finding Dory, The Magnificent Seven, Moana, and Fences. I also watched The Boy and the Beast on Amazon Prime.
I especially enjoyed Zootopia, The Boy and the Beast, Moana, and Fences.
Finding Dory was okay, but I felt like it really didn't have an emotional punch to it. The Magnificent Seven as also okay; I just wish that they handled Denzel Washington's character a bit better. I also enjoyed Civil War, but (and I know I'm going to be flack for this) I didn't watch any of the current Marvel Movies before it. I definitely want to do that in the near future.
As for Batman v. Superman, I didn't care too much for it. It seemed like it was trying too hard to be dark and serious, and it was especially hard to get into since it didn't really have any lightheartedness in it. Also, while I don't read comics, I disliked the movies interpretation of Lex Luther. It seemed more like a performance of a saner Joker. Honestly, the movie was kind of the reason why I didn't go see Suicide Squad.
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I especially enjoyed Zootopia, The Boy and the Beast, Moana, and Fences.
Finding Dory was okay, but I felt like it really didn't have an emotional punch to it. The Magnificent Seven as also okay; I just wish that they handled Denzel Washington's character a bit better. I also enjoyed Civil War, but (and I know I'm going to be flack for this) I didn't watch any of the current Marvel Movies before it. I definitely want to do that in the near future.
As for Batman v. Superman, I didn't care too much for it. It seemed like it was trying too hard to be dark and serious, and it was especially hard to get into since it didn't really have any lightheartedness in it. Also, while I don't read comics, I disliked the movies interpretation of Lex Luther. It seemed more like a performance of a saner Joker. Honestly, the movie was kind of the reason why I didn't go see Suicide Squad.
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CoolEric158
She rocks both ways.
Going from earliest release date to latest release date:
1. Brooklyn (4/5)
2. The Revenant (4/5)
3. Hail, Caesar! (3/5)
4. Deadpool (4/5)
5. The Witch (5/5)
6. Zootopia (4.5/5)
7. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (3/5)
8. The Jungle Book (4/5)
9. Captain America: Civil War (4/5)
10. The Nice Guys (4/5)
11. X-Men: Apocalypse (2/5)
12. Finding Dory (4/5)
13. Swiss Army Man (5/5)
14. The Shallows (2.5/5)
15. Star Trek Beyond (3.5/5)
16. Jason Bourne (3/5)
17. Suicide Squad (1/5)
18. Arrival (4.5/5)
19. The Edge of Seventeen (4/5)
20. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2.5/5)
21. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (3.5/5)
1. Brooklyn (4/5)
2. The Revenant (4/5)
3. Hail, Caesar! (3/5)
4. Deadpool (4/5)
5. The Witch (5/5)
6. Zootopia (4.5/5)
7. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (3/5)
8. The Jungle Book (4/5)
9. Captain America: Civil War (4/5)
10. The Nice Guys (4/5)
11. X-Men: Apocalypse (2/5)
12. Finding Dory (4/5)
13. Swiss Army Man (5/5)
14. The Shallows (2.5/5)
15. Star Trek Beyond (3.5/5)
16. Jason Bourne (3/5)
17. Suicide Squad (1/5)
18. Arrival (4.5/5)
19. The Edge of Seventeen (4/5)
20. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2.5/5)
21. Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (3.5/5)
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BlooCNBoy02 wrote on 2 quid is good's profile.
Thanks for the following days ago. 
Your avatar looks interesting.
Your avatar looks interesting.
The New Woody Woodpecker Show was just removed from Peacock... Can this show just take a break from being screwed over?